Yet even more depressing nuggets of wisdom absolutely sure to ruin your day! For those of you interested in attending the next church service, the foundation for worthlessness is located in 125 convenient drive-up locations strategically placed around the globe... Dr. Oswald T Pratt presiding. Look at that photo you have of you and your best friend - you know, the one where you have your arms around each other and are smiling and looking right at the camera. You may think back fondly to that moment, but, if you'll recall, you were both asked to fake that smile. For the many of you needing advice from the OTF regarding your relationships... You know when you're brokenhearted and pining for your lost love and sobbing and blubbering all the time? Well, you look pathetic when you're doing that. Next time you get dumped, it might comfort you to remember this: You will never find a love like that ever again - that person meant everything to you, and you will never find anyone that special ever again. It is better to have loved and lost than to have hot needles slowly driven into your eyeballs. Donations to the church can be made through your local McDonalds.