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World War III, what would you do?

Discussion in 'Off-Topic' started by The Future now, Oct 26, 2006.

  1. The Future now

    The Future now Banned

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    World War III, what would you do?

    Suppose the Islamo fascists led by Al Quada and China teamed up and conquered the United States, what would you do?

    I imagine that most of you sheep haven't even considered this possibility, but you can rest assured, I have a plan. At first I'd take the noble route, I think, allowing my pride to be damaged in the interest of the community's safety. That wouldn't last long though, because one day I'd probably be walking down the street and observe several Chinese soldiers harassing some women.

    I'd step in to intervene and we would quickly come to blows, kung fu style. Even thought it'd probably be 3 vs 1 I'd surprise them with my masterful hand to hand combat skills and quickly start to get the better of them. One of them would draw his pistol and fire but I'd see it in time and would be able to use one of his comrades as a human shield and then I'd jump over him and land a devasting kick to the jaw. Showing no mercy, I'd break his neck as he lay unconscious.

    The third, having been terrified by my combat abilities (as any sane person would be) would have run away seeking reinforcements by now.

    I'd steal their weapons and equipment and launch a one man guerilla war that over a period of perhaps 6 months would claim the lives of thousands of Chinese soldiers and hundreds of Islamofascists. At some point I'm sure I'd be wounded in a fire fight, but I'd work through the pain and make a crude bandage out of a bandana. The blood would mix with my oily sweat and I'd look totally badass!

    The next part of my plan involves making several hundred pounds of homemade explosives from urine and sneaking into a major Chinese air base to take out their airforce. I'd plant the bombs so that when they went off it'd look like a big *** blazing eagle to an aerial observer. People would know that you can't hold the United States down, as long as a Republican still lives (The democrats would be busy learning to enjoy tea and speaking Chinese by now).

    Unfortunately, I'd probably be captured after blowing their **** up. They'd certainly torture me to get information about the resistance out of me, but unlike you wimps, I CAN HANDLE PAIN TO SAVE MY COUNTRY. Feeling frustrated, one of them would try to chop my hands off, but by releasing me from the handcuffs he would make a fatal mistake, because I'd kick his ***!

    After I killed the guards/ torturers I'd make my way through the complex, like in Duke Nukem. However, instead of making it to safety, I'd accidently stumble on the Premier of China, Osama Bin Laden, and the President of Iran (whatever his name is) having a big meeting.

    I think by this time I'd be down to two bullets, so after shooting the Chinese dude and the Iranian dude I'd go hand to hand with Osama. At first it would seem like I was going to win easily, but then he'd inexplicably turn the tables on me. Fortunately, after he knocked me down I'd spot an American flag on a pole and I'd use it as a spear to impale him!

    I'm ready for WWIII, the problem with most of you pansies is that you don't have what it takes to do what is needed. As you can see by my above post, I'm the baddast mother*shut yo mouth!* on this forum.
     
  2. Dondrei

    Dondrei IncGamers Member

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    WWWOOOOLLVVVEERRIINNEESS!!!!!


    *EDIT*

    Now with 100% more upper-casey goodness.
     
  3. PatMaGroin

    PatMaGroin IncGamers Member

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    Over the line there, cheif.
     
  4. DurfBarian

    DurfBarian IncGamers Member

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    BDA, whose reincarnation are you? I remember the name, but not the original name.

    Anyway, WOLVERIIIIIIIIINES
     
  5. SaroDarksbane

    SaroDarksbane IncGamers Site Pal

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    Copying a page from Smeg's playbook, are you TFN?

    Needs more patriotism, IMO. I suggest playing the national anthem or saluting the flag solemnly after you impale Osama with it.
     
  6. Star Dust

    Star Dust IncGamers Member

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    And then Smeg woke up...
     
  7. jimmyboy

    jimmyboy IncGamers Member

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    Crash language course in Chinese and Arabic?
     
  8. BlueDogAnchorite

    BlueDogAnchorite IncGamers Member

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    Hey Durfy. I've been around here for years and years, just not necessarily posting that much. I have always been BlueDogAnchorite. Although I used to have }~ squiglies in my name long ago.

    Hell, I remember the sombrero av phase, before Freet was a mod and :shocked: before Ash's post count reached even DOUBLE figures.



     
  9. AeroJonesy

    AeroJonesy IncGamers Member

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    Learn accounting. Even the mob needs a good accountant.
     
  10. Sir EvilFreeSmeg

    Sir EvilFreeSmeg Banned

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    Before that'd happen the thing to do would be to remove the existing government officials and replace them with rough men ready to do violence. Men that wouldn't allow the enemy to win.

    But if the scenario did come to pass...

    WOLVERINES!!!!!!!!
    I'd have to make sure I moved my family to the Olympic Penninsula before we lost. I know that area. The northern coast of the penninsula would never fall. There are far too many violent men that came back from Vietnam that never could adjust back to living amongst civilians. Between them and the other rotten SOBs that'd go up into the mountains, nobody could ever hold that area. Heh, even occupying it wouldn't happen for long. Too many snipers :thumbsup:
     
  11. bladesyz

    bladesyz IncGamers Member

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    You mean men who are currently in their 60's and who would likely be in their 80's when this scenario came to pass (a very unlikely event as it is)?



     
  12. Sir EvilFreeSmeg

    Sir EvilFreeSmeg Banned

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    Most of them are still in their 50's. There's also some repors of guys coming back from Iraq and Afghanistan doing the same thing. It happens after every war.
     
  13. DOC

    DOC Off Topic Moderator

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    Did you have to go that far? Family forum here, try to remember that. :lipsrsealed:

    Anyways, yes, WOLVERINES!!!!



     
  14. Sir EvilFreeSmeg

    Sir EvilFreeSmeg Banned

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    Come on man, you've got to FEEL it.

    WOLVERINES!!!!!!
     
  15. DOC

    DOC Off Topic Moderator

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    I would rather go with 1 of the following two options:

    Option A) Badgers!!!!!!!
    Badgers!!!!!!!
    Badgers!!!!!!!
    Badgers!!!!!!!
    Badgers!!!!!!!

    Or Options B) BEAVERSSSS!!!!!

    Either would also be suitable war cries.



     
  16. Sir EvilFreeSmeg

    Sir EvilFreeSmeg Banned

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    What? No mushrooms?
     
  17. nebux

    nebux IncGamers Member

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    strage then all of you would be the terrorists
    hahahaha
     
  18. Talga Vasternich

    Talga Vasternich IncGamers Member

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    YOU DA MAN!

    wait....

    war cries?!?

    you didn't mean........



    nevermind
     
  19. Raft Boy

    Raft Boy IncGamers Member

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    *sigh*

    Where's Dutch and Lunar when you need them?

    WOLVERIIIIIIIIIIIIIINES!!!!!!!!
     

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