Diablo IV, Diablo 2 and Diablo 3 Forums - Diabloii.Net
Why I love Kinkos
My words in white, kinkos employee's words in green, my thoughts at the time in blue.
Kinkos visit #1:
"I need to print this at tabloid size."
"Ok."
"And I need it printed to the edges."
"We can't do that, we can only do that on 8.5 by 11."
"ok, what's the next biggest size paper you have?"
"18 by 24."
"Ok, I'll just print it on that and cut it down then."
"Ok, we'll have to send it away for a day then."
"What, why?"
"Because we don't have that size of paper here, we have to send it away."
"Then why did you just tell me you had that size of paper?"
"Ugh, nevermind then, just shink it to page and print it on tabloid size."
TOTAL CHARGE: $2.29
Kinkos visit #2
"I need to print these two documents to the edge on 8.5 by 11."
"We can't do that."
"Why not?"
"We can't print to the edges on 8.5 by 11."
"Then why did you tell me you could last time?"
"Ooooooook...well these have to be 8.5 by 11 so I guess just print them on tabloid and I'll cut them down."
"Ok, what kind of paper do you want?"
"I just need it on high quality paper"
"We can't do that."
"And why not?"
"All we have is the 90 lb paper."
"If I didn't have a choice, why did you ask?"
"Well how about you print it on that then."
"Also, can you guys print envelopes?"
"Yah."
"Ok, I need to do that too then."
"We can't do it here though, we need to send it away."
"Can you do anything here?"
"Well I need it today, so nevermind..."
TOTAL CHARGE: $10.17
Kinkos visit #3
"Hi, I need to print an envelope and pick it up tomorrow."
"Ok, how many do you need?"
"Just one."
"We can't do that."
"SURPRISE!!!"
"Why not?"
"You have to print at least 200."
"Do I look like a person who needs 200 envelopes?"
"Nevermind, I'll just print my other files."
"Ok, what do you have?"
"11 files, each needs to be printed on tabloid size."
"Ok, we're gonna charge you for each one after 3."
"For what?"
"Opening them."
"WHAT?!?!"
"How much?"
"$1.50 per file."
"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!?!?!"
"Whatever..."
"What kind of paper?"
"I need it on cardstock weight."
"We can't do that."
"Oh right, I forgot..."
"Fine, just put it on the 90 lb then."
"It's gonna look kinda crappy on that paper, it has a bad finish."
"Well I don't really have a choice now do I?"
"I can print a test one for you and show you though."
"Ok, do that."
*few minutes later*
"Here ya go."
"Hm, I guess this will do. But why is this so big, did you fit it to page?"
"Yah, it was too big."
"No it wasn't, it was 10.5 by 16.5."
"Oh really? I didn't look."
"Then how did you decide it was too big?"
"Just print them all on tabloid and don't change their size. I guarantee they're all small enough."
*he goes through the files*
"This one's too big, it's 11.1 inches wide. Do you want me to shrink it?"
"NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"Oh just rotate it then."
"It's still too big, either way it's wider than the paper."
"11.1 is bigger than 17?"
"Wait, am I printing this on tabloid too?"
"Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeees."
"Urge to kill, rising..."
*a few hours later, at pickup*
"Um, what are these scuff marks on these three prints?"
"Um, those are, uh...printing imperfections."
"No they're not, these are obviously from after printing."
"Fine, I'll print them again."
"You do that."
"I need your disc again."
"You still have it."
"Oh."
TOTAL CHARGE: $37.50
My words in white, kinkos employee's words in green, my thoughts at the time in blue.
Kinkos visit #1:
"I need to print this at tabloid size."
"Ok."
"And I need it printed to the edges."
"We can't do that, we can only do that on 8.5 by 11."
"ok, what's the next biggest size paper you have?"
"18 by 24."
"Ok, I'll just print it on that and cut it down then."
"Ok, we'll have to send it away for a day then."
"What, why?"
"Because we don't have that size of paper here, we have to send it away."
"Then why did you just tell me you had that size of paper?"
"Ugh, nevermind then, just shink it to page and print it on tabloid size."
TOTAL CHARGE: $2.29
Kinkos visit #2
"I need to print these two documents to the edge on 8.5 by 11."
"We can't do that."
"Why not?"
"We can't print to the edges on 8.5 by 11."
"Then why did you tell me you could last time?"
"Ooooooook...well these have to be 8.5 by 11 so I guess just print them on tabloid and I'll cut them down."
"Ok, what kind of paper do you want?"
"I just need it on high quality paper"
"We can't do that."
"And why not?"
"All we have is the 90 lb paper."
"If I didn't have a choice, why did you ask?"
"Well how about you print it on that then."
"Also, can you guys print envelopes?"
"Yah."
"Ok, I need to do that too then."
"We can't do it here though, we need to send it away."
"Can you do anything here?"
"Well I need it today, so nevermind..."
TOTAL CHARGE: $10.17
Kinkos visit #3
"Hi, I need to print an envelope and pick it up tomorrow."
"Ok, how many do you need?"
"Just one."
"We can't do that."
"SURPRISE!!!"
"Why not?"
"You have to print at least 200."
"Do I look like a person who needs 200 envelopes?"
"Nevermind, I'll just print my other files."
"Ok, what do you have?"
"11 files, each needs to be printed on tabloid size."
"Ok, we're gonna charge you for each one after 3."
"For what?"
"Opening them."
"WHAT?!?!"
"How much?"
"$1.50 per file."
"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!?!?!"
"Whatever..."
"What kind of paper?"
"I need it on cardstock weight."
"We can't do that."
"Oh right, I forgot..."
"Fine, just put it on the 90 lb then."
"It's gonna look kinda crappy on that paper, it has a bad finish."
"Well I don't really have a choice now do I?"
"I can print a test one for you and show you though."
"Ok, do that."
*few minutes later*
"Here ya go."
"Hm, I guess this will do. But why is this so big, did you fit it to page?"
"Yah, it was too big."
"No it wasn't, it was 10.5 by 16.5."
"Oh really? I didn't look."
"Then how did you decide it was too big?"
"Just print them all on tabloid and don't change their size. I guarantee they're all small enough."
*he goes through the files*
"This one's too big, it's 11.1 inches wide. Do you want me to shrink it?"
"NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"Oh just rotate it then."
"It's still too big, either way it's wider than the paper."
"11.1 is bigger than 17?"
"Wait, am I printing this on tabloid too?"
"Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeees."
"Urge to kill, rising..."
*a few hours later, at pickup*
"Um, what are these scuff marks on these three prints?"
"Um, those are, uh...printing imperfections."
"No they're not, these are obviously from after printing."
"Fine, I'll print them again."
"You do that."
"I need your disc again."
"You still have it."
"Oh."
TOTAL CHARGE: $37.50