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Twelve Reasons *** Marriage will Ruin American Society ifr

Discussion in 'Off-Topic' started by Pierrot le Fou, Feb 19, 2004.

  1. Pierrot le Fou

    Pierrot le Fou IncGamers Member

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    Twelve Reasons *** Marriage will Ruin American Society

    Twelve Reasons Why *** Marriage Will Ruin Society

    1. Homosexuality is not natural, much like eyeglasses, polyester, and birth control.

    2. Heterosexual marriages are valid becasue they produce children. Infertile couples and old people can't legally get married because the world needs more children.

    3. Obviously *** parents will raise *** children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

    4. Straight marriage will be less meaningful, since Britney Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage was meaningful.

    5. Heterosexual marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; just like women are property, blacks can't marry whites, and divorce is illegal.

    6. *** marriage should be decided by people not the courts, because the majority-elected legislatures, not courts, have historically protected the rights of the minorities.

    7. *** marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire counrty. That's why we have only one religion in America.

    8. *** marriage will encourage people to be ***, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

    9. Legalizing *** marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

    10. Children can never suceed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why single parents are forbidden to raise children.

    11. *** marriage will change the foundation of society. Heterosexual marriage has been around for a long time, and we could never adapt to new social norms because we haven't adapted to cars or longer lifespans.

    12. Civil unions, providing most of the same benefits as marriage with a different name are better, because a "seperate but equal" institution is always constitutional. Seperate schools for African-Americans worked just as well as seperate marriages for gays and lesbians will.
     
  2. th5418

    th5418 Banned

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    Dear god, is this a joke?
     
  3. Steel_Avatar

    Steel_Avatar IncGamers Member

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    That's not very nice PLF :D
     
  4. toader

    toader Banned

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    So...ill assume thats a joke.

    Is this thread where we can post *** jokes?

    A guy came into a bar one day and said to the bartender, "Give me six double vodkas."

    The bartender says, "Wow! you must have had one hell of a day." "Yes, I''ve just found out my older brother is ***."

    The next day the same guy came into the bar and asked for the same drinks. When the bartender asked what the problem was today the answer came back, "I''ve just found out that my younger brother is *** too!"

    On the third day the guy came into the bar and ordered another six double vodkas. The bartender said, "Jesus! Doesn''t anybody in your family like women?"

    "Yeah, my wife..."


    Pretty good one huh?

    That kinda brings up a question in my head.

    If a *** guy marries a *** woman....is that a *** marriage?
     
  5. Pierrot le Fou

    Pierrot le Fou IncGamers Member

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    No TH, I've never been more serious. Why would I sink so much time into such airtight logic for the sake of a few laughs? Who do you take me for? Hellfire?
     
  6. Steel_Avatar

    Steel_Avatar IncGamers Member

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    Toader:

    Actually, PLF is doing a wonderful job of mocking the arguments that *** marriage opponents use. He's right, they don't hold much water.

    PS: PLF is my lov-er :D
     
  7. th5418

    th5418 Banned

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    So, your idea of marriage is that so the couples can produce more offspring?
     
  8. Pierrot le Fou

    Pierrot le Fou IncGamers Member

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    Not that they CAN th, that they MUST. As I have CLEARLY stated, the old and infertile are denied the right to marriage, exactly for that reason. Because they cannot reproduce, they cannot marry, just like *** folk. QED, gays can't marry, case closed.
     
  9. Yaboosh

    Yaboosh IncGamers Member

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    Can you honestly not see the intended satire with the purpose of making a point?

    PLF is refuting most of the arguments people have against legal sanctions preventing *** marriage.
     
  10. Steel_Avatar

    Steel_Avatar IncGamers Member

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    No, that's their idea of marriage, which as demonstrated above, is absurd.
     
  11. th5418

    th5418 Banned

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    The idea of marriage is that two people that love each other get together and live........
     
  12. Yaboosh

    Yaboosh IncGamers Member

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    *shakes head*

    Hooray PLF!! YOU GOT TO SOMEBODY.
     
  13. th5418

    th5418 Banned

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    Wait. im confused. Im just going to leave this thread.
     
  14. DurfBarian

    DurfBarian IncGamers Member

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    PLF is a goddamn communist. You can tell because he lives in a foreign country and cannot be trusted.
     
  15. Pierrot le Fou

    Pierrot le Fou IncGamers Member

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    That is the silliest idea of marriage I've ever heard. The point of marriage is to propogate GOOD CHRISTIAN MORALS, as well as the perpetuation of the species through massive bouts of reproduction, neither of which those sodomites can accomplish.

    I'll pray to Jesus tonight for you th, so that you may see the light.
     
  16. Canadia142

    Canadia142 Banned

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    th its satire. A joke, hes not being serious. Get it?
     
  17. Anakha1

    Anakha1 Banned

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    He's satiring (read: making fun of in a realistic and common sensical way) all the arguments typically brought up by *** marriage opponents and then shooting them down one by one under each point by pretending to believe in them and pointing out how each of them makes no sense.

    *** marriage opponents... consider yourself pwned. Good job, PLF. :thumbsup: :clap:
     
  18. Xynrx

    Xynrx IncGamers Member

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    On the contrary, his post was very serious. But your right, it's the satirical content that makes out why it's so serious.
     
  19. Pierrot le Fou

    Pierrot le Fou IncGamers Member

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    Um, people are under the nutty assumption that I wrote that.

    I didn't.

    Nor would I ever.

    I think *** marriage is disgusting, and I thought this was a perfect example of the deviant logic used to support its cause.
     
  20. maccool

    maccool IncGamers Member

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    And the *** men and *** women should 'go at it' so that we all might bask in their gloty of gayitude. Thus making our society more of whatever it is our society was.

    Sorry, was that not in the scripture?
     

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