Trying not to be an idiot in my relationship After many years (seriously) of searching, I've found a lovely girl with whom I am rather in love. There are so many excellent aspects to our relationship, including common hobbies, approximately equal intellects...hell, she outstrips me in quite a few areas, shared friends, and so on. This is why I am struggling with this one aspect. My girlfriend has an ovarian cyst, which is a non-cancerous growth on one of her ovaries. It means that she's in pain a lot of the time. It's not the "Oh my god please kill me make it stop" pain, though from time to time it will get that bad. It's usually just a serious discomfort that comes and goes unpredictably during the day. (The way her doctor wants to cure this is to make her go through temporary, early menopause...which has a LOT of side effects...or to do surgery, which will put her totally out of commission for over a month.) As a result: 1) She's exhausted even when she's gotten a full night's sleep and 2) she's not really feeling, um, in the mood to romp. Issue 1 means she's out at 10:30PM even on the weekends while I'm up and about. Issue 2 is a little more complex. You see, she's willing to give me attention, but I feel extraordinarily bad if she does that without wanting to receive any attention. I'm a weird gal in that I get more enjoyment out of what is being done to me if I know the other person is happy than if I'm just able to lie there with my mind a complete blank. Plus, it feels like she's forcing herself to do something she doesn't want to do, though she swears up and down she's happy to make "the effort". I know she can't control her body. I just don't know what to do. I miss her body. I miss being able to touch her in that way. I miss feeling like she wants to do this rather than I'm obligating her or something. So, boys...how do I not be an idiot about this? I'm sure your gf/wives have had similar issues. What did you do?