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Too much is too much.

Discussion in 'Off-Topic' started by Freet, Nov 10, 2006.

  1. Freet

    Freet Diabloii.Net Member

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    Too much is too much.

    For future reference,

    The next time any of you run off a person that needs to talk I'm going to make sure he or she isn't the only one who leaves. Just because you don't want to help a person that is reaching out doesn't mean others aren't willing to give it a try. Next time consider just keeping your yaps shut if you don't want to help.

    I could not have been more disappointed in this forum tonight. I really couldn't.
     
  2. PatMaGroin

    PatMaGroin Diabloii.Net Member

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    Yeah I was pretty upset with that thread too, especially the first reply...
     
  3. Yaboosh

    Yaboosh Diabloii.Net Member

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    Unless you deleted the offending posts, I don't see what you are so disappointed about. People gave honest answers. They didn't think that this was the best venue for talking about really serious problems (even though those really serious problems may have been a simple as girl problems or as serious as suicidal issues).

    He didn't ask for only people who thought this was a good place to post serious, personal information when you are not even familiar with the people in the forum, he asked whether or not it is a good place. Your ideals about what this place should be is not necessarily what it is. You can be disappointed, or embarrassed, but it is what it is.
     
  4. {KOW}Spazed

    {KOW}Spazed Banned

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    The first reply made my heart sink, it wasn't even referring to a similar thread.

    I don't think there is a better forum to spill things out, I've been on a lot of forums but none of them are as close or as kind as the OTF.

    EDIT: 'Boosh, like I said the first reply wasn't on topic and the following posts were probably part jest, but are the people that replied really the best ones to answer? Donny hasn't been here that long, much less Nyax, and Bort doesn't go way back like some other posters. This forum has dealt with suicide, depression, marriage, relationships, addiction, you name it. In the last few years it has toned down a bit, but this forum has always been pretty damn good about keeping work and play separate.
     
  5. Dondrei

    Dondrei Diabloii.Net Member

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    Well, I don't know about that first reply but for myself I just gave him the best advice I could - beware advice given to you by an internet forum, particularly if the matter is highly personal or sensitive.
     
  6. Freet

    Freet Diabloii.Net Member

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    I coudn't disagree more. Although not evident in that thread, this forum does have caring people that are willing to lend comfort/advice. I know this because I've seen it on several occasions.

    And how do you know at least some of us couldn't help? We didn't ever give him a chance to discuss.

    Yes, I'm disappointed and I have the right to be.



     
  7. Yaboosh

    Yaboosh Diabloii.Net Member

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    I thought the first reply was fairly accurate. Don't be disappointed in his reply when it is true.
     
  8. ModeratelyConfused

    ModeratelyConfused Banned

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    I'd like to think that with serious threads, we can actually be serious with them. The first post didn't really represent the OTF as a whole. Sure we argue about stuff, politics and religion seem to be the big ones, and more often than not we end up off topic, but we can handle seriousness when needed. And the thread was already shot to hell when I posted in it.

    For some reason, that thread brought to mind the 'emergency contraception' thread a while back.
     
  9. Freet

    Freet Diabloii.Net Member

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    I will say this one more time. We don't know if we could help because we don't know what the problem was.

    I'm through discussing this until I settle down.



     
  10. {KOW}Spazed

    {KOW}Spazed Banned

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    How can you poke holes in an argument that is never there? The guy was asking for advice/help not politics or how Klingon skeletons are superior to humans'. The reply had nothing to do with getting help, it was spite for a poorly made thread.



     
  11. PatMaGroin

    PatMaGroin Diabloii.Net Member

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    Just becuase we like to act like *** hats a lot of the time doesn't mean we're all incapable of providing serious advice.

    Of course he shouldn't just blindly follow whatever it is an anonymous internet forum says, but sometimes it takes a perfect stranger to provide a little unbiased insight, which is what he was looking for.

    I've felt less and less at home here lately, and that thread added to the feeling quite a bit.
     
  12. Lord Nyax

    Lord Nyax Banned

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    Guys, seriously. I've only been here a while, but I was speaking from my experience as a whole. I haven't seen all that much great advice here, and most of it (and I admit, I give more than my fair share) is bitingly sarcastic. Some good advice is given (which I also stated in my reply), but overall I think that serious problems are better discussed in a serious atmosphere. If he'd asked specifically for a serious discussion, I truly believe that he would have gotten some good advice. However, surely everyone can see that the majority of the posts here are not only unhelpful, but in certain cases they are either harmful or lead away from the original topic.

    Also, the whole "poking holes in arguements" thing wasn't really...literal. What I meant is that sometimes people focus more on the facts of the post, the little details, instead of giving useful advice/intelligent responses (i.e. instead of actually discussing the issue at hand, they decide to show that the basic assumptions of the original poster were false). I know that I can support this statement more than any other, even with the limited materiel from which I, personally, can draw. Sometimes we just feel like correcting some little error when we should really be focusing on the actual question at hand.
     
  13. Yaboosh

    Yaboosh Diabloii.Net Member

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    The first reply said that people poke holes in people's arguments (true), go off on tangents (true), can be serious and give good advice (true), and if you ask people to be serious they will for the most part (true).

    I think people are overreacting to this, but, hey, that is just one person's opinion.
     
  14. Bortaz

    Bortaz Banned

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    I certainly didn't mean to offend anyone, or run anyone off (even PatMaGroin). He asked our opinion, and I gave him mine. I apologize if my opinion doesn't live up to the expectations of the forum, but I've seen enough Raffster's Personal Problem threads to know how this forum deals with them.

    However, from now on, I'll just keep my opinions out of the personal problem advice threads.
     
  15. Yaboosh

    Yaboosh Diabloii.Net Member

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    Raffster's threads are a very good example of this and what to expect. Perhaps the replies should have simply linked to them?



     
  16. dantheman5415

    dantheman5415 Diabloii.Net Member

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  17. Yossarian

    Yossarian Diabloii.Net Member

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    I think Nyax's post in there was right on.

    Seriously if you need real help and advise asking a bunch of strangers on the net is not likely the best place to turn. Would you walk-up to a bunch of people at a bus stop, tell them your problems and ask them for help? If you need real help you need to talk to real people who know you.

    I didn't see any posts in that thread that were even a little out of line. I think a certain mod may have lost the plot.
     
  18. Freet

    Freet Diabloii.Net Member

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    I have been here a long time and have seen a great many threads that showed just how compansionate and caring this forum could be. I have taken great pride in this forum because of the intelligence and compassion we could show when it was called for.

    In all fairness though, forums do evolve and not always for the better. I will add though that if what you all are saying is true then you had best start looking for another mod. I have no desire to be included in a group that can't show compassion when someone reaches out.
     
  19. Yaboosh

    Yaboosh Diabloii.Net Member

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    Yeah, because AznXGoddess was always taken completely seriously when she posted her problems.

    Don't make this a recent problem when it has been a problem ever since I have been here (which probably coincides fairly closely with your tenure Freet).

    Again, of course there are good threads, but all Nyax posted was that many threads can devolve quickly by some posters, which is completely true.

    The most honest and heartfelt threads happen when the poster has been here for a while. For example, a great instance of the compassion of these forums is whenever D2Dad posts about Abigail's progress, though this sort of thread you really have no option to feel anything but compassion, since it is a disease happening to an innocent child, so it may be a bad example.


    But if his problem were something with drugs, alcohol, porn, sex, who knows what else may have been serious to him, it is very likely that this community (including at any point in our history) could have criticized his choices and made him feel bad. This didn't seem to be what he wanted so it may have been wise for him to choose not to post his problem. He may not have wanted an honest response, which is an argument for not posting an personal issue here.
     
  20. Lord Nyax

    Lord Nyax Banned

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    I don't really think that this was the point I had in mind. Sometimes (i.e. Stevebo's post in this thread) people decide to rag on people for mistakes they've made (and admitted to) instead of helping them out. A lot of times people are compassionate, willing to give advice. It's just that a single derogatory post can really make a guy who is already have a crappy time feel really down. The last thing you need when you are in a mood like that is some random guy on the internet to bash your choices when you're putting yourself out there, asking for help. If you really do have something important to discuss, chancing something like that really isn't worth it. That was what I was talking about...



     

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