Today's depressing nuggets of wisdom guaranteed to ruin your day *Dr. Oswald T. Pratt makes no actual guarantee that these nuggets of wisdom will ruin your day. Results may vary. Ever have a really great idea, like for a little invention or something, then never do anything about it except maybe, at most, tell one of your friends? Then, a months later, have you seen this very invention on the shelf in a store? you probably feel like you've had this experience, because it makes you feel like you have the potential to come up with great ideas, but actually, this has never happened to you. The "special" skills you possess that help you perform your job could easily be taught to a zoo-monkey. Your boss has the gall to suspect you of stealing candy, spare change, and some other crap from the break room. And let's face it, you did steal that crap. Here's what happens when you die: The blood stops flowing into your brain, and you have a few, last flickering thoughts, then you stop thinking altogether. The synapses in your brain stop firing, and your personality and thoughts cease to exist. Then your body decays. Grubs and boll weevils burrow into your head. Worms crawl in and out of your eye sockets. Maggots feed on your brain. Oh, wait. I'm getting it all wrong. Actually, you go to a country club-type place and hang out with a lot of cool people. What was I thinking? You people have been entirely too happy these last few days. I could tell you all needed another dose of "reality"