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Today's depressing nuggets of wisdom guaranteed to ruin your day d

Discussion in 'Off-Topic' started by LunarSolaris, Mar 12, 2004.

  1. LunarSolaris

    LunarSolaris IncGamers Member

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    Today's depressing nuggets of wisdom guaranteed to ruin your day

    *Dr. Oswald T. Pratt makes no actual guarantee that these nuggets of wisdom will ruin your day. Results may vary.

    Ever have a really great idea, like for a little invention or something, then never do anything about it except maybe, at most, tell one of your friends? Then, a months later, have you seen this very invention on the shelf in a store? you probably feel like you've had this experience, because it makes you feel like you have the potential to come up with great ideas, but actually, this has never happened to you.



    The "special" skills you possess that help you perform your job could easily be taught to a zoo-monkey.



    Your boss has the gall to suspect you of stealing candy, spare change, and some other crap from the break room. And let's face it, you did steal that crap.



    Here's what happens when you die: The blood stops flowing into your brain, and you have a few, last flickering thoughts, then you stop thinking altogether. The synapses in your brain stop firing, and your personality and thoughts cease to exist. Then your body decays. Grubs and boll weevils burrow into your head. Worms crawl in and out of your eye sockets. Maggots feed on your brain. Oh, wait. I'm getting it all wrong. Actually, you go to a country club-type place and hang out with a lot of cool people. What was I thinking?




    You people have been entirely too happy these last few days. I could tell you all needed another dose of "reality" :D
     
  2. Canadia142

    Canadia142 Banned

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    my god. I hate my life and this just opens my eyes. I'm never going to smile again
     
  3. Ash Housewares

    Ash Housewares IncGamers Member

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    it's a good thing I own the only building in the OTF thats more than 2 stories, 5 bucks if you want to use the elevator, extra 5 bucks if yer goin to the roof
     
  4. Stevinator

    Stevinator IncGamers Member

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    okay...you suck that first one actually happened to me.

    When i wasin college I was sitting around with my friends and talking aobut starting a business when we graduated. we were really big on this idea because there were no jobs available at the time.

    we didn't know what we wanted to sell though. we talked about importing stuff, and catering and putting together a nationwide landscaping company and a bucnh of other things. all of the ideas were simply not doable...then we got to this thought that we should invent something.

    we were writing down everything we had to do that we didn't like doing for a couple weeks then we got back together and brainstormed aobut how to make these things easier.

    turns out one of my firends is really really lazy...he said the thing he hated was having to get up and move the clothes from the washer to the dryer.

    So we put together some ideas about how to make a washer dryer that didn't require moving the clothes. we had a decent system worked out...it was terribly inefficent, but it might've been able to be refined...never had it perfected...but it would've been a great start. a little capital and a few old washers and dryers and we might've been able to build one. unfortunately i hear that whirlpool already has one on the market...i have no idea if it works the same...prolly better since they have a bunch of engineers working there...if i ever see one I'm going to scope it out...but i was really mad. that was a great idea.

    BTW no trained monkey could do my job...maybe your job...but not mine.
     
  5. {KOW}Spazed

    {KOW}Spazed Banned

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    I monkey can learn Latin, Calc, AP American History, AP Physics, Visual Basic (I concede on this one), English 3, and Hebrew Scripture? Damn I have wasted the good part of a year. . . also does this mean I can take the monkey's job?
     
  6. SomeCanadianGuy

    SomeCanadianGuy IncGamers Member

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    Maybe not, but I'm sure a monkey knows the difference between roman numerals and arabic numerals! :teeth:
     
  7. Choogy

    Choogy IncGamers Member

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    Dang...I want a trained monkey...

    He does my job and i pay him in bananas... :D
     
  8. LunarSolaris

    LunarSolaris IncGamers Member

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    Just remember people... any hate mail.... can be directed to....

    [email protected]


    :teeth:


    And remember folks. My name is Peter Durfee, and I care.
     
  9. Canadia142

    Canadia142 Banned

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    I bet durf er I mean lunar is gonna be getting some nasty links pretty soon.
     

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