This morning, I faced a serious conundrum.

Lostprophet

Diabloii.Net Member
This morning, I faced a serious conundrum.

It was: Explode in a highly embarrasing fashion, or risk arrest.

Also, I am back from a week up in good ol Mich(igan).

You see, flying into Regan National Airport in DC, for security reasons, you cannot stand up within 30 minutes of take-off/landing at the airport. If you do, they emergency-land the plane and place the offending stand-er under arrest.

It went (har) like this: I caught a 7 AM flight out of Det(roit) this morning, so I bought a 20 OZ Dr. Pepper in the airport to keep myself awake for the gate calling. The flight was on the standard size plane, 6 seats to a row, not one of these puddle-jumpers I've become so accustomed to riding everywhere. The flight's full, another change for me, and I'm in the window seat next to two sleepy-looking big dudes. So I finish my Dr. Pepper, and I'm thinking, 'I should hit the bathroom, since I won't be able to in the last 30 minutes.' But out of consideration (read: stupidity) for the sleeping, I decided me and my iron bladder could handle it. I even, in a fit of utter dumbosity, went for the complimentary soda.

So of course, the very second I'm not allowed to stand anymore, my first thought is "Hrm, I really gotta pee." My agony worsens as we "begin our descent," which involves... no descension that I can notice. I'm writhing in my seat, trying desperately to avoid the potentially fatal embarrasment that would accompany... oh you know. Finally, unable to bear it further, heaving from a nausea attack, I turn to Seatmates 1 and 2 and say "I'm going to need to go to the bathroom." Number 2 (aisle seat) says, helpfully and with a smile, "They're not gonna let you." Me: "I know. I'll just. Have. To risk it." Smiles fade as they catch the edge in my voice. They shift their legs aside to allow my passage. Thankfully, the position shift to talk to them has relieved some of the pressue, so I'm able to make it not only until we land, but until we actually taxi to the terminal. Suffice it to say, I have never spent longer in a bathroom ever.

Moral of the story: Never be considerate. Also, never fly into/out of Reagan. Esp. on Northwest (my horrible experience flying up is fodder for another thread. Slash I'm lazy and will get to it eventually).

So how you guys been?
 

Lostprophet

Diabloii.Net Member
Kow said:
If you can pee into a 20oz bottle without over flowing your bladder is like half the size of mine.
Yeah, for serious. Plus the flight attendant had taken my bottle already anyway.
 

Darnoc

Diabloii.Net Member
Scenes from Tommy Boy come to mind..

I'm sure if you had pressed the stewardess button, and explained that you are going to take a piss whether it is in the bathroom, a bottle, or all over yourself and your seat, they would have accomodated you in some way. If you suffered any kind of permanent damage from not being able to use the washroom after you informed them of your dilema and they would not help you, you probably would be able to sue them for lots of money.

Didn't some famous explorer or someone die from a ruptured bladder because he had to take a piss but it was considered rude to leave the dinner table in the king's prescence?
 

Empired

Diabloii.Net Member
Yeah, they say Tycho Brahe did. That's probably just a story, though. I think the new theory is that he died taking one of his own homemade medicines for a minor medical condition.
 

Empired

Diabloii.Net Member
That was true, though, I think. Something about when he was studying in Germany... I should look this up. Or really, I should just KNOW it, since I was on Ven (the island the Danish king gave to Tycho Brahe for his own use) about a month ago.
 

Raistlin Majere

Diabloii.Net Member
Empired said:
Yeah, they say Tycho Brahe did. That's probably just a story, though. I think the new theory is that he died taking one of his own homemade medicines for a minor medical condition.
I remember hearing it took him 8-9 days to die from infection.
 

Empired

Diabloii.Net Member
I just checked around a bit and it looks like the current thought is that he died from mercury poisoning, probably from one of his own medicines.

( :king: )
 

Technetium

Diabloii.Net Member
Empired said:
That was true, though, I think. Something about when he was studying in Germany... I should look this up.
The guy used to get ridiculously drunk at meals. It led to him getting in a sword fight with a contemporary (how he lost his real nose), and I believe it was also instrumental in his bladder going boom.
 

ziggy7483

Diabloii.Net Member
My sister got a bladder infection from holding it too long.

If you get burning or blood, maybe there's some $$$ at the end of the rainbow lol With the airlines going under, maybe you can give North West a final push. And throw Homeland Security and Congress in the mix.
 

5Ws

Banned
Weird, every plane I've been on had no rules like that, I mean they tell you that you can't get up, but if you really have to go, they allow you, what kind of Nazi airline did you fly with?
 

Lostprophet

Diabloii.Net Member
Not the airline, kiddies. It's a rule flying into, or out of, Ronald Reagan National Airport. It was instituted during the security tightening after 9/11, since it's closest to DC and der Presidente.
 
Beowulf said:
You cannot stand up 30 minutes before landing? Umm stupid.
Considering that flights flying into National Airport enter the restricted airspace around the White House, Pentagon, and US Capitol, and literally fly within less than 4 miles of the White House and Capitol, and within about 1 of the Pentagon, I don't think it's stupid at all.

I fly in and out of DCA every time I fly, and I've never had a problem with it. On every flight I've been in, they let us know when we're taking off to fly to DCA, and give us ample warning over the PA that we have 15 minutes or so left before we can't get up, so if you gotta go, go now. Moreover, 20 minutes of that 30 is spent with the seatbelt sign on because of the descent anyway, so what's the big deal?

Lostprophet, be glad you managed to wait. If you had gotten up, your flight would have been escorted by a fighter jet team to a nearby base and every single person on your flight would have had to give statements. You yourself would likely have been detained for longer than the few hours it takes to do all of that, nevermind the fact that everyone would have missed their connecting flights.
 

Dutchman

Diabloii.Net Member
Still seems like a stupid rule, what is a terrorist going to do, follow the rule and stay in his seat instead of blowing up the plane?

*time to blow up the plane! - begins to stand
"I'm sorry sir, we are 29 minutes out of the airport, you can not get up"
*foiled again!, dasdardly americans!

Dutch
 
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