Things my mother taught me

Freemason

Banned
Things my mother taught me

Things My Mother Taught Me

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
“If you’re going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning.â€

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
“You better pray that will come out of the carpet.â€

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
“If you don’t straighten up, I’m going to knock you into the middle of next week!â€

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
“Because I said so, that’s why.â€

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
“If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you’re not going to the store with me.â€

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
“Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you’re in an accident.â€

7. My mother taught me IRONY.
“Keep crying, and I’ll give you something to cry about.â€

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
“Shut your mouth and eat your supper.â€

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
“Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!â€

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
“You’ll sit there until all that spinach is gone.â€

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
“This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it.â€

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY
“If I told you once, I’ve told you a million times. Don’t exaggerate!â€

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
“I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.â€

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
“Stop acting like your father!â€

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
“There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don’t have wonderful parents like you do! â€

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
“Just wait until we get home.â€

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
“You are going to get it when you get home!â€

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
“If you don’t stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way.â€

19. My mother taught me ESP.
“Put your sweater on; don’t you think I know when you are cold?â€

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
“When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to meâ€

21 My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
“If you don’t eat your vegetables, you’ll never grow up.â€

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
“You’re just like your father.â€

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
“Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?â€

24. My mo ther taught me WISDOM.
“When you get to be my age, you’ll understand.â€

25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
“One day you’ll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!

This proudly stolen from www.evilconservativeblog.com
 
Top