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there is something dead in my house.

Discussion in 'Off-Topic' started by superdave, Sep 15, 2006.

  1. superdave

    superdave IncGamers Member

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    there is something dead in my house.

    yesterday i caught the unmistakeable smell of death coming(i thought) from an open window...i closed it thinking that maybe it was a dead raccoon fermenting in a nearby ravine...today i got back home and the smell is back 10 fold...the problem is i can't figure out where it is coming from...it hits me hard at the top of the stairs...my daughter's room is there(i emptied it to the bare walls)...when i walk in i can't smell it there...now that she is back at school i have been looking after her pet mice and hamster...they are all accounted for(their cages smell of cedar chips)...the smell is also strong in the attic towards the back of the house...i can't smell anything when i move to the front of the house when i am in the attic...this is starting to drive me nuts...i know that if there actually is something dead in the house it will get even worse...i know it's not one of the dogs...i counted both of them twice just to make sure one of them didn't crawl into a closet to die...i did check the dryer vent to make sure my neighbour hasn't exacted revenge on me for stuffing a dead fish in her vent last month(long story...i won't go into now).

    i am ready to get a crowbar and start ripping out walls...i tried to lure a neighbour kid into the house to help me search but he ran away before i could finish explaining(i expect a visit shortly from an irate father or possibly the police)...i thought maybe a younger kid might have a better sniffer than me.

    arg.
     
  2. Evrae Altana

    Evrae Altana IncGamers Member

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    Count your kids yet?
     
  3. kobold

    kobold Banned

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    Is there any chance that you could air the house out really well, go for a walk yourself to clear the scent from your nostrils, then come back in fresh? Just wondering if that would make it easier for you to zero in on the area.

    My other thought: is there any carpet in your daughter's room? Any chance that something (such as milk) spilled on the carpet and is starting to reek? I had that happen in my daughters' room and ended up cutting out a chunk of carpet to get rid of the smell.

    Good luck on getting rid of it.


    Oh yeah, you did shower today, right? :jig:
     
  4. Ash Housewares

    Ash Housewares IncGamers Member

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    have you ruled out the possibility that you are a ghost haunting your former house until your remains can be properly interred in the wake of some horrible home repair mishap?
     
  5. ragnar_ii

    ragnar_ii IncGamers Member

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    From my past experiences, its probably a dead mouse somewhere in a wall. Nothing you can do, save ripping the walls apart. We just waited it out. Took a few days.
     
  6. superdave

    superdave IncGamers Member

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    **** this, i am going to burn it down...i just chipped my tooth while checking to see if something crawled in the chimney and died...i put my maglight on a shelf above me so i could remove the cleanout door and it rolled off the shelf...i made a grab for it and it flipped up and hit me right in the mouth....i hate dentists even more than i hate politicians.

    this doesn't make any sense...on the 2nd floor the smell comes from the front of the house...on the 3rd floor it comes from the back of the house....two dead things?

    no carpet in her room...hardwood floors...this is the smell of death...not curdled milk.

    i have lived here for decades...i have never seen a mouse that wasn't purchased at a pet store.


    none of them are home now.


    yes.
     
  7. Ash Housewares

    Ash Housewares IncGamers Member

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    well I got nothin
     
  8. superdave

    superdave IncGamers Member

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    thx ash...i know you tried.
     
  9. grimreaperofsouls

    grimreaperofsouls IncGamers Member

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    perhaps its God smiting you for being more super than he is?
     
  10. Ash Housewares

    Ash Housewares IncGamers Member

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    it seemed the most obvious explanation, I will ponder on other, less likely, possibilities
     
  11. ffejrxx

    ffejrxx IncGamers Member

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    did your kids have any pets? maybe something escaped and died

    try lighting some scented candles for a couple days, they tend to fix some bad smells like burnt pizza
     
  12. grimreaperofsouls

    grimreaperofsouls IncGamers Member

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    ew, have you ever smelt burnt hair before i smell it almost everyday and it always makes me gag :(
     
  13. Dondrei

    Dondrei IncGamers Member

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    I need closure on that anecdote.

    Yes, be careful you don't get sucked into the closet and trapped inside the TV.

    Would this investigation involve sifting through your collection of cult movies from the 80's and 90's?
     
  14. Merick

    Merick IncGamers Member

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    Sure it couldn't be toxic mold or something growing on wetness?
     
  15. masterazn

    masterazn Banned

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    I say use air freshener for the rest of your days in that house.
     
  16. superdave

    superdave IncGamers Member

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    the mystery has been solved...there was a reason why i couldn't locate the cause of the stench in my daughter's room...it wasn't there...it was in the hall outside her room.

    didn't ed from shaun of the dead say that dogs can't look up? mine can...i turned on the hall light and was standing there steeling myself to walk into her room one more time to find a corpse...i looked down at the dog; looking up at the ceiling...the light illuminated hundreds of crawling maggots on the glass shade...the shade was the last resting place for a dead bat.

    ewww

    now i have two messes to clean up...the dead bat(and his squishy buddies) and a large pile of vomit....maybe i can leave it till morning and call "molly maid" to send someone over.
     
  17. Dondrei

    Dondrei IncGamers Member

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    This story has been saved in a folder I've set aside for Superdave's stories...

    Heh, I remember that.
     
  18. superdave

    superdave IncGamers Member

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    well i just punched an even bigger hole in the ozone layer....a full can of glade berry splash air infusion does nothing to mask the combined stench of vomit and decaying bat meat...do you think i can get my money back? someone get me an email address for the complaint dept at glade...i am going to ***** at them.
     
  19. Dondrei

    Dondrei IncGamers Member

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    Those guys who clean up crime scenes say it's almost impossible to get rid of the smell. They use some seriously nasty chemicals and still it takes weeks of airing out.
     
  20. masterazn

    masterazn Banned

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    Maggots are gross.......take pictures?
     

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