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The Diablo II Corps recruiting!

Discussion in 'Player Matchup' started by Turbocannon, May 31, 2008.

  1. Turbocannon

    Turbocannon IncGamers Member

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    The Diablo II Corps recruiting!

    The Diablo II Corps. It's more then just a clan, it's a career.

    In order to qualify for membership in this elite clan you must first pass a rigorus battery of tests, designed to measure your overall intelligence, hand eye coordination, reflex and reaction times, color vision and depth perception. If you recieve acceptable scores on all of these tests, you then sign a contract for 2 year membership of the Diablo II Corps. The Corps buys you a plane ticket to an undisclosed location in California where you go through Diablo II boot camp.

    In D2BC, you unlearn everything you ever knew, and learn how to REALLY play diablo 2. You recieve harsh drills for 18 hours a day on leveling tactics, rushing tactics, magic finding tactics, character build basics including a 40 hour ciriculum on various character builds equipment selection and synergy calculation. Once you complete this course which last approximatly 6 weeks, you begin the second phase of your D2 basic training, the PVP training.

    You will be assigned a personal instructor along with 6 other comardes and will spend 16 hours a day in PVP workshops, in which you will have access to to the latest in hero editor software to construct the characters of your choice with all legit gear and stats, and will duel it out for supremecy.

    Once your training is done, you will be given an aptitude test based, and a professional assement from one of our D2 Corps Career Councilers, into which area is best for you. here are some of our enlisted career opportunities.
    TPS Specialist: You will be given access to the most cutting edge in Diablo 2 Third Party Support software. You will learn how to opperate and utilize effectively any number of mods and plugins, as well as recieve a crash course on battle.net syntax and UDP Packet communication. Tech school for this course includes a very hands on workshop where you will develop your own scripts utilizing the most up to date battle.net packet sniffer. This course will include a an introductoary course to computer programming and hex editing. Enlistees who choose TPS Specialist as their field enjoy a rewarding career in producing and using all the latest hax/cheats/and exploits that will give our Corps an edge over other clans.

    PVP Specialist: Although all Corps members must be able to hold their own in PVP when called upon to do so, only the few, the proud, and the elite can become a PVP Specialist. These brave warriors scored highly on their entrance tests, especially hand eye coordination, as well as reflex and reaction speed. If their personal trainer during phase II bootcamp recommends you for this position due to a high aptitude for Player vs Player combat in Diablo ii, you will recieve additional PVP training. You will learn about Breakpoints, Frame Speed, Fine Equipment Tuning, and Skill Hotkeys. You will oil your PVP character into a finely tuned weapon of mass destruction right down to the last charm in your inventory. You will reprpesent our clan in the public market, pwning other clans and dominating any number of public PVP games. You will be grisled and gritty, using bad manners and wiping out all enemies who oppose us.

    Duelist: Among our PVP specialist the best of the best are selected to represent our corps in the private dueling scene. You will particpate in judged tournaments, private clan functions, and other private dueling ventures. Some of the greatest legends in diablo 2 pvp history have come from our PVP Duelist Specialists program.

    MF Specilaist: So you're not good at dueling or software crunching, but you've always saw yourself as a quester. You enjoy playing the game, getting down and dirty fighting monsters. In MF school you will learn how to quickly and efficently magic find several bosses and make the most of your magic finding experience. You will MF for 8 hours a day and keep detailed logs of all your actions and finds. You will have access to all the latest in motivation enhancing drugs which will help you overcome the boredum of rigours magic finding. Our MF Specialists are proudly more productive then any artifical intelligence bot on the market. It takes a human brain to best exploit the system of finding magical items on closed blizzard realms.
    R.U.S.H specialist: Rush specialists in our clan will spend almost 24/7 of their time leveling up characters and rushing them through to hell act 5. These are the good old boys, the backbone of the Diablo 2 Corps who supply us with our characters that we use to operate in our global operations on the closed battle.net realms. They will recieve additional training to enhance what they learned during basic. The typical D2corpsmen rusher specialist can get a character from 1-80 in 45 minutes, and is required to do this before a panel of judges before they get approved for this position. Rejoice, your leveling skills will be the most elite among any diablo 2 player on the realms.

    Leveler Specialist: You will learn how to close the gap to level 99 faster and more efficently then anyone else in the entire closed realms system on battle.net. You will recieve a rigourus training program including elctrical shocks when reaction times begin to dwindle. You will have access to the lastest systems developed by TPS to include auto-tele and cast speed manipulation including TMC mod. You will baal 12 hours a day, in two seperate shifts. You will learn how transition control of a character to the next shiftsmen quickly and efficently so that you lose minimal time and keep up with the baal quota. You will also learn exra exp garnering tricks for those who don't tele, such as nihl runs while waiting for portal.

    Could you just imagine.. that would be so freaking awesome to be a high ranking member in such an elite clan.
     
  2. lukefojut

    lukefojut IncGamers Member

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    Re: The Diablo II Corps recruiting!

    Congrats on putting so much thought into hypotheticals!
     
  3. Crowd Control

    Crowd Control Banned

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    Re: The Diablo II Corps recruiting!

    Sounds like a deal. I'm really ready for a half year, no-sleep trainingship.
     
  4. Erwwwd

    Erwwwd IncGamers Member

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    Re: The Diablo II Corps recruiting!

    I always wanted a free plane ticket to an undisclosed location in california sent to me by strangers! 12 hours baaling a day, slaying everyone with my bad manners! Joy!

    Btw, this is a cut-n-paste job right? Where is it from?
     
  5. Crowd Control

    Crowd Control Banned

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    Re: The Diablo II Corps recruiting!

    The cutting and pasting will be done on location.
     
  6. RogueJuggalo

    RogueJuggalo IncGamers Member

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    Re: The Diablo II Corps recruiting!

    I'm not sure why I read that whole thing and at this particular moment in time, I'm not sure how I feel about it. :scratchchin:
     

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