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The Diablo 3 Darwin Awards

Discussion in 'Diablo 3 Hardcore Forum' started by Flux, Sep 20, 2014.

  1. Flux

    Flux Administrator

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    The Darwin Awards. Post your dumbest/funniest Diablo 3 death stories.

    In game tonight and another member of the IncHCW clan was talking about losing his Witch Doctor yesterday.... when he feel asleep in a Greater Rift and woke up dead. The player, I mean. If characters start falling asleep, we're in real trouble. He suggested that I run a post on Darwin Awards, where people could share their dumbest or weirdest or most ridic deaths. It doesn't have to be just Hardcore, but since we're the ones who actually care if we die, I thought it would go best in the HC forum.

    So, if you've got a story, add it here. I'll collect the best and quote them in a main page news post at some point, pointing more eyes to this compilation of woe.

    I had some dumb deaths long ago, but one that still vexes me was my highest level D3v character ever, a Monk who was P82. I'd been working on the computer all day, doing intensive stuff like encoding video, and I decided to hop on for a quick game when I finished. Tragically, my system resources were spent, and while the game loaded okay and ran only a little slowly in town, once I went through the waypoint to the Festering Woods my frame rate went to about .1 FPS, and I saw only a few frames of action over the next 10 or 15 seconds, during which I compounded the issue by trying to play, or move, or run, or punch, and got far enough from the waypoint that I drew more enemies. (The slide show eventually caught up after half a minute, at least enough that I could see a Deeds notice.

    In retrospect, if I'd just exited the game immediately when the performance dove, I might have survived, with just one or two ghouls punching on my unresponsive form It was a useful lesson though, and ever since I've made sure not to play when the computer has been on and handling heavy labor for long hours, and to always linger in town for at least 10s after I create a game, to make sure the frame rate isn't going to take a dive once I cast a spell.
     
  2. Flux

    Flux Administrator

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    A new story, of terrible import.

    Opinions differ on which is the most dangerous Rift Guardian, but most would agree that Stonesinger, the Sand Golem, is the weakest. I've often wondered if that one was bugged, since sometimes it dies before I'm even sure the fight has properly begun. Seldom have I seen it live long enough to do more than produce a duplicate or two, and I didn't know if had any other special powers.

    Turns out it does. Turns out it has huge Reflects Damage, which when combined with the LGem of Efficacious Toxin's 10 second DoT, can be lethal.

    Few days ago my new DH was just gearing up and pushing her talents into T2, where at the 990% point in a Nephalem Rift she had 2 boss packs on the screen and a horde of trash mobs. They weren't a problem, but did take a bit, so it was probably 30 seconds from the time Stonesinger appeared to when I was able to start concentrating damage upon his calcified hide. As I hurled chakrams into the boss and his clones, I noticed my health declining at an alarming pace. As one does in HC, I retreated, and then retreated again, Vaulting several screens away while my health continued to drop at a frightening pace. I realized the boss must have RD, and thought maybe my Wolf was still hitting him, so I moved further and made sure my pet and follower were near me.

    Several screens away from the boss I stood, watching my hps plummet. I drank a potion near 10% hps, filled up to 70%, and then watched it drain away again. I died, or would have if not for the proc of Awareness. Even after the proc, I had only about 25% hps, and paused a bit for my hps to regen. I didn't realize what had happened, and thought it was a bug or something weird. And since I'd seen that Stonesinger was down to maybe 10% hps, I figured I could quickly finish him off. So I went back, without waiting for the Awareness cooldown to reset. Which was a very bad idea.

    Same thing happened again; the boss had cloned multiple copies, I killed several but apparently not the boss, my hps started to drain at a crazy pace again, and again I retreated, right through the stairs up to the previous level, where I hit a TP and watched in disbelief as my hps drained entirely, killing me with the TP about 4 seconds cast.

    In retrospect, I'd probably have lived if I'd just stayed in place and kept hitting the boss. The problem was my Gem of Efficacious Toxin dealing 10s of damage, and most of my healing coming from LoH, with a much smaller amount of Regen. Which meant that when I retreated I was basically dooming myself to 9 seconds of huge RD health drain, without any LoH to counter it.

    It's such a weird set of circumstances that I doubt anyone else will have problems, but if by some chance you wind up with Stonesinger spawning when you're not in a position to assault him, and you've got not much Regen, and high DPS, and a Gem of Efficacious Toxin... you're in trouble. Stay in the battle and/or remove your jewelry with the GoET, and you should be fine. Unlike me.
     
  3. zeppi

    zeppi Diabloii.Net Member

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    When I was powerleveling I kept looking for \CC\ in Act 1. After doing it a bunch of times, I called out for help with a HC Seasons CC T6(59) and got someone to log in to help out. They said \there's no CC\. I looked and said \Oops! I saw Cursed Crypt and thought it was Cursed Cellar. Should we do it anyway?\ He said \if you want\. I hid in the corner while trying to leech yummy xp. A stray mob or two came over and tapped me on the shoulder and I died immediately. Why oh why are there two \CC\'s in Act I. Damn you Jay Wilson!
     
  4. Yoo

    Yoo Diabloii.Net Member

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    At the start of season 1, my brother and I were aiming to get high on the leader board for leveling 1-70 in HC. I was playing a crusader and he was on a Barb. We were going along with our pre-planned method of doing high exp bounties and high density areas in hard difficulty. The road to Darwin began when we decided to try a few rifts for gear and, with any luck, high density.

    Rifts turned out to be great, we got piles of gear and cruised into our low-40's going up fast. Disaster struck quickly. We ran into the rift guardian Rime, melee's greatest enemy. Our dps was high for the difficulty but my brother had only played witch doctor in RoS and was unaware that, as melee, you don't just watch your favorite video. Midway through the battle Rime launches his small frozen circles of death which stack up to infinity. My brother gets really low and leaps away...phew! He rejoined the battle as Rime was doing the same attack, I say 'watch your health! watch your health!'.....deeds. (Darwin enters) I have lots of melee experience and was having no problem managing my health. I look over at him incredulously and exclaim 'You died?!?'. Then I died...lol Now of course this wasn't my fault! Jay Wilson's favorite class was doomed to failure in RoS, which doomed my brother and finally killed me.
     
  5. fallsviewafro

    fallsviewafro Diabloii.Net Member

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    Before the big Crusader changes that happened, when Indestructible wasn't a cheat-death and Champion was the only way to do so, I took my main for some easy A2 bounties in T1. I had just finished a week of only playing Monk with Dashing Strike mapped to my right click. As such, I was well-used to right-click being an escape and survival tool. I never went for Steed with my Crusader, who was a close-combat Condemn/Shield Bash/Judgement type - big and slow, but pretty survivable and hit hard when Judgement still gave 80% CC. I had an incredible SOJ and some decent gear - probably T3 worthy which I was pretty pumped about.

    Anyways, I choose Magda, pop into Alcarnus, and come across a pack of Horde/Molten/something/something hellion things immediately after the waypoint. I haven't played Crusader in a week, and I'm so used to playing an undergeared Monk that takes forever to kill stuff, that after I drop Judgement/Condemn, the entire pack dies and ignites at once, save one little guy. I semi-acknowledge that a horde of Molten explosions could be a bad thing to stand in, so I right click. Hm, nothing. Right click again. Why am I not moving? Right click. Still nothing. Right click. Oh, uh, shit, those are about to go off. Right cli-BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM... still alive, the OH SHI- reflex just kicking in, red screen flashing, realizing I have Shield Bash mapped to right click.... BOOM. deeds.

    Yep, my beloved Crusader goes down to a pack of molten hellions that I one-shot in T1, not triggering my cheat death Champion because I was too busy Shield Bash-ing thin air in an attempt to Dashing Strike out... damn Monks. I took a week off of D3 after that one.
     
  6. liquid_mage

    liquid_mage Diabloii.Net Member

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    Four person party with lots of DPS, between 2.0 and 2.1 running a Rift in T2. We pop a Pylon with Nemesis Bracers on. Well our wizard teleported right next to it. It was a Conduit pylon and the pack the spawned had molten. Eight plus molten explosion pretty much insta-exploded our Wizard.
     
  7. el shendee

    el shendee Diabloii.Net Member

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  8. liquid_mage

    liquid_mage Diabloii.Net Member

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    In 2.0 my WD was really rocking. He was T3 geared pet doc with a Uhkapian Serpent. For some reason I was in T1 solo, running a Rift. Double pack of charging bull mobs right at the entrance. I tried to spirit walk through them, one charges and knocks me out of spirit walk. A second one charges me and procs SV. Then a third one kills me. This all happened in 3-5 seconds or so. That is when I realized I forgot to summon my zombie dogs, doh.
     
  9. Matt

    Matt Diabloii.Net Site Pal

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    I've had the same thing happen to me with the poison gem, Flux. I figured it out after both the Stonesinger RG and A2 KW reflected damage back at me carrying the 10 second poison attack. Fortunately, I escaped both, the KW one triggered my cheat death, but wore off before deeds, and the RG died before the effect wore off, but was the only thing around, so I was able to use a potion and GTFO, managing to stay alive until the effect wore off. I expect more than a few people have died to that, it's 10 seconds of unavoidable damage, which occurs very infrequently, so unless you're already prepared for it, it'll likely catch you off guard, I know I was totally blindsided by it. No more poison gem for me!

    I'd be curious to see a list of which attacks can and can't be reflected, and what other monsters have the ability to reflect the effect back on people.
     
  10. Turbojugend

    Turbojugend Diabloii.Net Member

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    deeded my second wizardette on seasons 1-2h ago = my boss wanted me to do something for about 2-3 minutes, i got up after just killing a yellow&co.
    evidently, i forgot to press escape and instead pressed 'i'.
    i came back looking forward to easy solo gold farming for the next 4 days, sat down and noticed red blur. at first no worries cuz i paused the game.
    NOT!

    it seems one of the little critters that dig in the ground was underground and missed him. usually i never get up before i killed the screen.
    but since i started changing to pausing the game than to tp, ... fail.

    not funny, just stupid
     
  11. Drixx

    Drixx Diabloii.Net Member

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    Way back in the early days of Diablo 3, before paragon levels and before MP levels, I leveled up my first hardcore character (a Demon Hunter) with a buddy who was playing a Barbarian. We hit 60 and did a little shopping on the old auction house to shore up our defenses, and ventured into Inferno difficulty.

    We crossed the bridge into the weeping hollow and very close to the entryway ran into a mortar, electric, horde pack. I stayed at range just outside of the mortar range and unloaded on the pack while my Barbarian friend, who did nearly nothing for damage but was also basically unkillable (and still has yet to ever die in hardcore), stood in and tanked the mobs. We got the pack quickly down to the last main guy.

    As he's nearly dead, I see a mortar incoming, and I look at my health. I could have hit my potion, done a vault, hit shadow power, or even just moved back a step. I did none of these things because I had great armor (was using a shield) and resists.

    The mortar hit, and I was still alive. Barely. Before I could process anything, a little lightning bolt sent out by the killing blow on the boss of the pack managed to find me and put an end to my poor DH's ever so brief foray into Inferno for the first time.

    Still, to this day, my only HC death in D3. Completely and totally my fault. I had no less than four things I could have done to avoid taking any damage at all, and instead just stood there and watched myself die.
     
  12. Goatking

    Goatking Diabloii.Net Member

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    It may have been before patch 1.3 or shortly after. My first hardcore demon hunter, back when every class was using shields to level up. He was 59 in act 3 keep depths. Had an elite pack on the other side of an iron gate which was a door that wasn't breakable but was see through so you could attack through it. I laughed at them for piling up plagued, desecration, and arcane sentries at the door while i was plugging them away at range. I was instagibbed when i got vortexed against the door and had no chance to smoke screen.
     
  13. Darkmere

    Darkmere Diabloii.Net Member

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    Every game I had Moratorium equipped. It's really hard to mentally un-train the damage intake estimates, so every 4th champ pack or so I'd end up stacking a big dot and dying two screens away waiting for my potion cooldown.

    Was playing with a friend doing Grift trials. He'd run to the corner of the arena to wait out the timer, so I opened the chat prompt to type in something at the end of a wave. Next wave spawned and killed me. So I rezzed, hit the wrong cooldown because I was laughing at myself. Died again.
     
  14. MyltonW

    MyltonW Diabloii.Net Member

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    The 2nd weekend following the start of the season I was rifting HC in a low torment pub game with my Crusader.

    We had mostly cleared the floor and the party was gathered around an unclicked conduit pylon. The party's WD was freaking out in chat because he had just found the last piece he needed for his JH set, a near perfect chest piece with Int, Vit, 3 Sockets and + %Locust dmg.

    I was wearing Nem. bracers and when everyone said they were ready i click the pylon before we were going to head tot he next floor.

    Conduit Shrine + Nem. Bracers = insta death for the elite pack that spawned... with molten... on top of the WD who was still fiddling with his inventory and new found toy...

    I didn't know whether to be horrified that I had just accidentally killed the guy off and cost him his shiny, newly completed, set, or laugh hysterically.

    I did salvage the Nem. bracers after the run was over though.
     
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  15. Flux

    Flux Administrator

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    This reminds me of several deaths I had back in D2, when I didn't want to use a purple since I was still half health and it would have felt like I was wasting the full rejuv. Never mind the fact that I'd pass by 50 of those a game since I had a full belt of them, and hardly ever needed any potions with high life leech. And then some ESFE boss would blow up with enough damage to do 75% of my health, and would one-shot me since I hadn't wanted to drink that purple when I was still 50% alive...
     
    Last edited: Nov 2, 2014
  16. vknez

    vknez Diabloii.Net Member

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    patch 1.05 i think. fresh female barb (paragon 3) started cleaning dungeon from checkpoint . i killed all monsters and clicked portal out and pressed alt-tab to read something on internet. went back 10-15 minutes later to game to deed screen with WTf face. i clicked portal pylon not town portal so i portaled to surface which wasnt cleaned and my enchatress lured few monsters that killed me when i was away from game
     
  17. Charons

    Charons Diablo: IncGamers Member

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    well, I just had me one hell of a darwin moment.

    I'm doing bounties on T4 with a clan mate (Duan). It's pretty much easy mode for my guy. I clear my bounty and go to teleport to Duan for the last bounty. My dog knocks at the back door to go outside. I completely forget that I'm teleporting and playing hardcore and go let the dog out. Get back just in time to see my character die to a murderous band of goat men having already cheated death.

    Can't believe I just did that.
     
  18. Flux

    Flux Administrator

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    This isn't exactly a Darwin Award since I didn't die... except inside. A little.

    Blackthorn's Amulet drop, really great roll for enchanting a socket into. something like 739 Dex, 529 Def, 92% Crit damage, 9% crit chance. I'd been hoping for a good amulet to socket so I eagerly went to it. Got lucky and got a socket on the 2nd roll, and prepared to feel triumphant... when I noticed that in my haste and inattention I'd somehow clicked the Defense instead of the Dexterity. So now I had a BK amulet with an awesome cc/cd/socket, and defense for the 4th affix. on a Demon Hunter.

    On the bright side I had every other item in BK with a great roll sitting in my stash,so I was able to start using the boots also, giving me BK3 and M6 bonuses at the same time. I figure I'll give the amulet to my future Monk when I find something better for the DH, since BK bonuses are more Monk style anyway, and defense is certainly more for that class than the M6 run around DH.

    Later in that same game, as if a consolation prize, I gambled gloves, and in 5 straight rolls I got: marauder's, shadow, rare, marauder's, shadow. I've certainly never seen 4 out of 5 legs, especially not all set items. People in clan chat laughed as the 4 appeared simultaneously.
     
  19. Solwolf

    Solwolf Clan Officer - US East Hardcore

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    My very first Kadala trip post change I scored 4/6 uniques on my alt Crusader; 4 different shields including the Phalanx one I wanted. Terrible rolls on it, but can't complain when you hit 66% uniques.
     

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