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# Terrible Math Jokes

Discussion in 'Off-Topic' started by tarnok, Feb 26, 2005.

1. ### tarnokIncGamers Member

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Terrible Math Jokes

This is the worst joke in the history of jokes:

There were three medieval kingdoms on the shores of a lake. There was an island in the middle of the lake, over which the kingdoms had been fighting for years. Finally, the three kings decided that they would send their knights out to do battle, and the winner would take the island.
The night before the battle, the knights and their squires pitched camp and readied themselves for the fight. The first kingdom had 12 knights, and each knight had five squires, all of whom were busily polishing armor, brushing horses, and cooking food. The second kingdom had twenty knights, and each knight had 10 squires. Everyone at that camp was also busy preparing for battle. At the camp of the third kingdom, there was only one knight, with his squire. This squire took a large pot and hung it from a looped rope in a tall tree. He busied himself preparing the meal, while the knight polished his own armor.
When the hour of the battle came, the three kingdoms sent their squires out to fight (this was too trivial a matter for the knights to join in).
The battle raged, and when the dust had cleared, the only person left was the lone squire from the third kingdom, having defeated the squires from the other two kingdoms, thus proving that the squire of the high pot and noose is equal to the sum of the squires of the other two sides.

This one is better:

A mathematician has spent years trying to prove the Riemann hypothesis - without success. Finally, he decides to sell his soul to the devil in exchange for a proof. The devil promises to deliver a proof within four weeks.
Four weeks pass, but nothing happens. Half a year later, the devil shows up again - in a rather gloomy mood.
"I'm sorry", he says. "I couldn't prove the Riemann hypothesis either. But" - and his face lightens up - "I think I found a really interesting lemma..."

Share your own math jokes, terrible or otherwise.

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I don't get the second one. Am I being dumb?

3. ### masteraznBanned

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I suck at math. I don't get them. Can someone explain?

4. ### EffBanned

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i got one:

This joke < :thumbsup:

5. ### FrozenSolidIncGamers Member

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I didnt get any of them either :xx:

Heres another, more comprehendible

Three physicists were taking a ride on a hot air baloon and got lost. They looked down and saw a camp fire and three other men sitting by it. They shouted to them:
- Where are we?
- Youre in a hot air baloon!
The physicist looked at his friends and said:
- I bet they were mathematicians.
- How come?
- The info they gave was correct but didnt help anyone whatsoever!

6. ### tarnokIncGamers Member

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...

The first one is the Pythagorean theorem. The second one is funny because the Riemann hypothesis has defied proof for years while at the same time giving the impression that it's proof is probably quite obvious. A lemma is a theorem that is proven merely as a step to prove a more ambitious theorem. Anyone attempting to prove the Riemann hypothesis is bound to come up with a few dozen.

7. ### Steve_KowBanned

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The first one is a play on words, say "high pot and noose" aloud and I think you'll get it.

8. ### UserMathiasIncGamers Member

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*Eats the llama*

9. ### MrPipesIncGamers Member

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the first one was great.

i didn't get the second one, since i don't know riemanns.

10. ### SelfBaisResistorIncGamers Member

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The first joke is rather timely for me since just finished teaching a lesson on the Pythagorean Theorem and will be moving onto the converse of said theorem. I'd use it in my class, but I don't think the inner city kids would enjoy it much. However, it would be a good joke to tell around the math office.

11. ### AeroJonesyIncGamers Member

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Shamelessly stolen from Durf ages ago and I'm sure he stole it from somewhere else. But it was so terrible, I had to save it.

Once upon a time, a mathematican was listening to a sociologist friend talk about a recent study on an Indian tribe. The study was designed to show whether sleeping on different types of animal skins built strength in the women. The skins tested were elephant, rhino, and hippo.
The experiment had shown that while the women who slept on the elephant and rhino hides grew to remarkable strength, the third woman became so strong herself that she was easily equal in physical strength not only to the two women, but their sons as well.
Upon hearing this, the mathematician remarked to his friend, â€œWell, I could have predicted that outcome myself.â€
â€œHow is that?â€ inquired the sociologist.

â€œCome now. Every first-year geometry student knows that the squaw on the hippopotamus is equal to the sons of the squaws on the other two hides.â€

12. ### {KOW}SpazedBanned

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9!

13. ### renounced05Banned

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I dont get the 2nd joke and I am in AB Calc... So what level of math people would get it.

On a further Note SelfBaisResistor has 1,337 posts witch is more funny than all those jokes combined

14. ### tarnokIncGamers Member

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Anyone who has actually had to prove just about anything. Depending on how deeply you get into geometry that may not be until real analysis in college. (In real analysis you begin to prove the things you took on faith in calculus).

15. ### TurbulentTurtleIncGamers Member

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Pi r square
Pi are not square
Pi are round! :lol: :lol:

Why did the math teacher get arrested, and got his ruler, calculator and compass confiscated?
-Because he was said to be using weapons of math instruction! (mass destruction)

16. ### NecrolestesIncGamers Member

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2 + 2 = 4...in this universe, anyway

I like this one (probably because I'm a medical student):

Several scientists were all posed the following question: "What is 2 * 2 ?"

The engineer whips out his slide rule (so it's old) and shuffles it back and forth, and finally announces "3.99".

The physicist consults his technical references, sets up the problem on his computer, and announces "it lies between 3.98 and 4.02".

The mathematician cogitates for a while, then announces: "I don't know what the answer is, but I can tell you, an answer exists!".

Philosopher smiles: "But what do you mean by 2 * 2 ?"

Logician replies: "Please define 2 * 2 more precisely."

The sociologist: "I don't know, but is was nice talking about it".

Behavioral Ecologist: "A polygamous mating system".

Medical Student : "4" All others looking astonished : "How did you know ??"

Medical Student : "I memorized it."

<taken from http://www.math.utah.edu/~cherk/mathjokes.html#topic3 >

17. ### AeroJonesyIncGamers Member

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You need the lawyer: "Let me check precedent"

18. ### Ace_wandererIncGamers Member

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A man wanted to get a job and the employer asked him, "What skills do you have?. The man answered Im good at maths and so the employer asked him to add up the trees behind him(there were 3).

The man answers 9, the employer says 9? how did you get 9? The man replies tree and tree and tree makes nine.

Suddenly a truck comes along and blows up some dirty onto the trees. The employer says lets try this again how many trees are there? The man replies 99.
So the employer asks 99? How did you get 99?. The man says dirty tree+dirtry tree+dirty tree=ninety nine.

Just after a dog drops some dropping at each of the trees. The employer decides to give him 1 last chance and asks him how many trees are there.
The man replies 100, and so the employer asked him how he got 100.
The man says dirty tree and a turd+dirty tree+ dirty tree and a turd makes one hundred.

19. ### masteraznBanned

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I get that last one above this post.
How is high pot and noose a play on words? someone explain please!!!

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