Re: So where's my college fund?
Making you "said" is of little concern to me, particularly since I'm keenly aware of the difference as well as how damaging the consequences of some of those attempts truly are. I don't know if V12 was throwing a loop around me with that condemnatory post about bad parents, but as one of the few <actual> parents on the OTF, I wouldn't be surprised. But there's a difference between bad parenting and parenting that is politically incorrect or disliked by idle youth.
No "loop," I frankly didn't even read your post, nor the whole thread, I just hopped on the bandwagon college rant, since it's such a pertinent subject these days. It's essentially (forgoing Skilled Trade) a highschool degree now, and entrance certificate.
ANY (legitimate) attempt to save is a valued effort in my book. I'm not advocating starve yourself, ANYTHING for the kids type mentality, BUT deciding to take the loin's share of responsibility is what a "good" parent does, since you made the choice to have a kid, why not make the choice to parent UP and do what's right and logical... By not providing the crucial wind in a young adult's sails can leave them physically and mentally (largely unaddressed issue) stranded and to potentially life altering circumstances... IE no money for "school," is going to really have a shocking effect on his/her self-identity. Sounds poo-poo’d and like mushy whining… But ask many DRUG addicts how they got into the abuse in the 1st place… a resounding response is “I was depressed and started.” Depression, folks, is a VERY SERIOUS epidemic for many young and confused youths these days. It’s scientifically proven to have disastrous PHYSICAL and mental affects that last for years afterwards, sometimes scaring victims for decades.
We've ALL known about the kid that got held back a grade or so, they are socially torn and scarlet lettered through out their early academic career. "That kid," I've made fun of them (in fear of being held back), you have, lotta kids did. It's no diff from "where are you applying/accepted at man?!" Oh uuummm I can't afford it blah blah... "WHoa... wtf are you gonna do???" I don't know, work some POS JOBS and try and compete with kids that don't have to worry a thing about finances.
Where are you going to live? Work? "WHO" are YOU now? Many rationalize it with passive-aggressive statements like "oh you should get a job and pay for school, take part time classes, it’s so easy and FUN!" all the while negatively judging this individual for something he/she cannot control.
Do you know how HARD it is to study AND work near full time during school? My schedule was at one point - Be AT WORK by 7:30am, class all freaking day, then hoping to have the energy to study afterwards... MINUS the whole "distraction" of a "life" and trying to ENJOY those precious and once in a life time experiences at that age. I made it, but it was extremely taxing...
Do I expect everyone/anyone to follow suit? You could if you really wanted it right? BS! Not everyone is the same, and not all people have the fortitude and or ability to weather that storm. Is it their "fault" per se, not entirely? We are humans, NOT machines, and unfortunately the "optimal" human is more like a robot that a living being. Don't make any mistakes, don't have fun, just study for certs and save every dime ya got. That's logical right? "FUN" is how you define it right? WHo needs to have "fun?" Just DO IT!!! What a load of mud!
It's sort of like.... how can you expect a westernized child to compete with eastern-cultured students. Being that I was in engineering, the competition was SERIOUS! A lot of these students don't have ANY LIFE at all. They eat, sleep, basically LIVE in the library. B/c that IS what you're at "school" for, right, to learn and educate yourself? College is a LIFE altering experience and not just about studying and grades. Having very little time to experience that "life" b/c of working DOES affect your output/outlook. Dude wouldn't be bitter if it didn't.
2 students of near equal pre-college education, 1 doesn't have to worry about finances and can just study/party/explore all they want Vs This kid having to work as much as he can, on top of studying and trying to have some kind of "fun." Who's going to be stressed the most in general? The kid that has to worry if he's going to be able to afford this quarter/semester's books, fees, rent. Are you going to be around with all your FRIENDS next term or moving home again to save money? Have a girl friend in school... she going to wait for me while I’m at home? How can I focus on studying when my whole sphere of existence is about to possibly come crashing down and off I go home to live like a champ with my parents!
Oh wait... what about living off campus, like a “real”-adult? Nope can't afford rent b/c you're locked into a contract Vs dorms you can just move in/out whenever. Great huh? Not really, when all your buddy's/chicks are wondering "Duuude wtf are you still living in the
dorms??” As if you're some sub-adult that can't get his ISH together?" I've heard it, lived, it's a nightmare... all the while your folks are living their life, comfortable in their home and ish, eating decent food, not worrying or struggling to find an 'identity'. Oh yeah it's so easy to sit back and toss out suggestions about working hard and sticking it through. Yeah sure that works for ROBOTS that can follow every order w/out any pesky things like emotions or "personality" getting in the way.... Geesh I just cannot stand S_hitty parenting and the deprecating choices they make in regard to their FUTURE offspring. And many parents wonder why billy and sarah don't come home or call as much. Maybe it's b/c you SUCK? My folks don't suck, they've made mistakes; I've learned over many years to eventually let got and forgive. It ain't easy at all....
Blah blah I did this or that and made it, so can you... I don't buy into that state of mind, even though I could trumpet my horn about it. It's bogus and disturbing. Schools now are talking about “competing” on a “global” scale… Yeah I want my kind going to school 6days/wk 8-10hrs/day and a few hours on the weekends too, in order to “prepare” them? W-T-F is this? Roboticaville? Those kids aren’t “kids” they are robots. My Japanese roommate told me they come over here and it’s a joke! “School” here is so easy for many of them, studying and doing nothing but that is a way of life. Most of time I would see many of my Asian, Hindu/Desi’s friends just “hanging” out at the Science and Engineering library, as if it was a bar. Not studying, just meeting up and “hanging out.” HOW MANY of your parents had to do this in college? But now it’s expected of you? I surely don’t want a robotic, humanoid child. Go outside and PLAY, live LIFE!
WT----OMG wow I got carried away again; this is going to be my last mega flood of text on this subject... lol
