So Freet convinced me to make that topic. Its real serious problem for me. Im 18, going to college, but still living at home for the first semester or the first year just to settle into college, and i dont live far away from the campus so i just drive back and forth. I was born in another country, and i was raised with different cultural values, and i was raised to respect my family in every way that i can and they should be the most valuable thing i will ever get in my life. Well when my parents moved here i was 3 or 4 years old, we didnt have much money at all so they could barely afford to take care of one kid. Now about 15 (give or take) years later, my parents made a nice life for themselves, two story house, a car for them and a car for me, and im still an only child. The rest of my family either lives back home or about 15 hours across for me (via car) in the United States, so the only family im close to is my mom and my dad. I never had a brother or a sister, i was raised with one of my cousins for the first 3 or 4 years, but i will never be able to see him again because he is in a really strict drug rehab problem, he made some mistakes dealing with drugs, and now he is schizophrenic and i doubt ill be able to see him ever again. My dad has discovered not too long ago that he needs to get an operation on the bones in his legs, there is a slim chance he will never be able to walk again (very slim), but one way or another he wont be able to walk for about 2-3 months. That stressed my family a bit. Now today my family doctor called my house in the evening, past her business hours actually, and talked to my mom. She got really upset after the call, i didnt want to ask her whats wrong so she doesnt get too upset explaining it to me. I talked to my dad, apparently my doctor wants my mom to come in again for cancer testings. I think about two years ago she was tested for cancer, everything turned out okay. Then a month or so later i was tested for cancer, everything turned out okay. Then i was tested for radiation prescence because of the whole Chernobyl thing (which im guessing is my doctor's reasoning for all the testing between my mom and i), and that turned out okay too. Now she is calling my mom in again for the cancer testing. I just have a gut feeling that as nice of a lady as my doctor is, is that she is full of ****, she makes pretty blind assumptions that arent just a common cold, blind assumptions about ****ing radiation poisoning and cancer. I know that nothing happened yet, and im probably just fearing for the worst. But i just cant imagine a life with my parents both being so young, and losing one of them, i mean the whole culture thing makes me kind of feel like they are the only people that honestly care about me, and are the only people i am living for. I have tons of acquantainces, i was a decently popular guy in high school, i have a few true friends, and i have a girlfriend. I just cant bring myself to discussing any of this with anyone because im always seen as a really happy guy, always a smile on my face, always cracking jokes. So whenever something comes up i have to bottle it inside because i want that image, and i dont want anyone to feel sorry for me or try to pamper me to get my mind off of things. But i lost my "brother" and i probably wont see him again, my dad takes lots of pain medication for his legs, and now possibly my mom having cancer. Im just losing all the people i care about and at this age i just cant handle it. I know im probably fearing for the worst, but i just dont know. If the test ends up positive, i have no idea what ill do. The only reason i WANT to succeed is for the two people who care about me, so i go to college. I lost nights upon nights of sleep over my cousin (and this was 7 years ago, and i still lose sleep over it), then the problem with my dad made me lose nights of sleep, and now this...ill be up for awhile. I know its more of a rant, i just need comforting or whatever. Just please take this seriously.