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Should I go for it?

Discussion in 'Off-Topic' started by Carnage-DVS, Feb 14, 2004.

  1. Carnage-DVS

    Carnage-DVS IncGamers Member

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    Should I go for it?

    So here's the thing.I've been friends with this girl for like....4-5 years.We are all part of a group of friends that split up after high school and scattered all over the world.We met in Paris,right now she lives in New York,and I live in Nevada.Now the thing is,I want to ask her out,but I don't know if I should or not,considering that it might ruin the friendship.Thing is that we get along so well that I don't think asking and being refused would be anything more than a bump on the road.This girl has been on my mind for like the last 2 years.I can't stop thinking about her no matter how hard I try.We both connect well,we both have the same interests (she likes to play videogames for gods sake!And she can discuss porn with me without grossing out!She is definition of perfect!) and I just find her to be so sweet,funny and pretty.
    Now here's where it gets complicated.She used to be my best friends girl.Whole thing is confusing so I'll do my best to explain it.They started near the end of 9th grade.Thing is that my best friend was pretty poor,so at the end of 9th grade he had to move back to Venezuala as his family could no longer support him staying in Paris.Thus he had to break up with her.However,over the summer in Venezuala he managed to convince his family members to let him continue to go to paris.He came back in 10th grade,but the girl didn't want to continue the relationship anymore.Don't ask me why she decided not to go out with him again,I have no idea.Anyway,my best friend was pretty much depressed for the entire year,then he started going out with another girl and seemed to get over his last one.Right now he's studying in Paris.

    So do you think I should ask the girl out?I might be moving to the east coast next year so incase we do start going out,we'll be closer.Problem is that I don't know if she feels the same way as I do,but I really don't want to spend my life wondering if she did.
    Your thoughts?
     
  2. Ev_

    Ev_ IncGamers Member

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    Honestly, I'd wait until you're geographically closer to her. Long distance relationships are hard enough, but trying to START one from long distance? I think it would be a bad move for you. You're guaranteed to keep in touch until you can be closer to her...don't jeopardize that.
     
  3. Carnage-DVS

    Carnage-DVS IncGamers Member

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    Thats some good advice.But the dreams..the dreams are getting stronger!Not sexual,just..dreams about her ><
     
  4. Agent Orange

    Agent Orange IncGamers Member

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    I live in Washington, I dated a girl who lived in New York for 3 months, I loved her, she loved me, we talked every night. It was the best relationship I'd ever had. We broke up because I kind of met someone else...who turned out to be insane.....stupid me...stupid everything...
    *kicks a wombat*
     
  5. Carnage-DVS

    Carnage-DVS IncGamers Member

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    Yeah I'm thinking about that.Franky,both of us are pretty shy and a physical relationship isn't one of the main reasons I'm asking her out.
     
  6. Chief JB

    Chief JB IncGamers Member

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    Yeah, I agree with Ev_ that the whole cross country thing would be hard. I also agree with Agent Orange's kicking of wombats. I guess you should know her better than me, would a long distance thing work between you?
     
  7. Carnage-DVS

    Carnage-DVS IncGamers Member

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    I don't know,maybe.I'm not sure about that.
     
  8. My_Immortal6

    My_Immortal6 IncGamers Member

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    I agree with waiting until you live closer. Much closer. Having been in two relationships that were perfect until the girl moved interstate, I can testify to the fact that distance is a killer in a relationship.
     
  9. Nastie_Bowie

    Nastie_Bowie Banned

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    Very seldom does.

    Hard situation, believe me!

    NB :)
     
  10. Pidder

    Pidder IncGamers Member

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    ask her?

    10chars.
     
  11. Carnage-DVS

    Carnage-DVS IncGamers Member

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    Well,sex doesn't play any role at all in this as she is waiting for the right guy and it's not a big deal with me.But yea I get what you mean,being close is a requirement.
     
  12. Carnage-DVS

    Carnage-DVS IncGamers Member

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    If I do,then that would basically be the entire point.I'm wondering if I should risk my friendship asking her.Or waiting for a better time.
     
  13. Pidder

    Pidder IncGamers Member

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    I'm not telling you that if you ask her everything will work out. It won't. A few months ago I moved to a dorm and I fell in love with my neighbour. We became friends, not best friends or anything, but still friends. I fell in love with her. I told her how I felt.

    We're not friends anymore.

    Looking back I know so many things I would have done differently and the fact that I still see her every day makes it kind of painful. You have to take the chance though. Imagine how you would feel if she told you she felt the same way. Imagine that and then tell me it's not worth asking.
     
  14. Carnage-DVS

    Carnage-DVS IncGamers Member

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    And that's whats driving me on.That every day I think about her,and even though the chances she will say no is pretty good (atleast to my low self-esteem self) the miniscule chance she will say yes is still there.And although I'm not 100% positive that our relationship will be ok if she says no,I'm pretty sure we are good enough friends that we can put it behind us.
     
  15. Smelly

    Smelly IncGamers Member

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    Carnage, my dear sexually attractive beast of a man...

    Ok here is the deal. You like her. You can't stop thinking about her. This won't ruin your relationship with her unless you let it. Tell her exactly how you feel, everything. Be honest. Honesty is like the number one thing in a relationship. If you really feel so strongly about her, don't let even the fires of Hell stop you. If you're ready to make sacrifices, then you're ready to take the next step. Whatever you do, do not tell her you love her because chances are that will only frighten the hell out of her. There are guys who use "I love you" in the worst ways possibly, and she might think you're one of them. I'd say do it, Carnage. The worst thing you can do, is not try. Good luck, and let me know how it turns out for you! :)
     
  16. Carnage-DVS

    Carnage-DVS IncGamers Member

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    Heh thanks.I'm just waiting for her to log on so I can talk to her.Yea,I'm pretty sure I won't say I love you.I'm pretty much gonna say that I can't stop thinking about you etc.Hope she goes for it ><
     
  17. Chief JB

    Chief JB IncGamers Member

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    Carnage must be one lucky bastard.:xirish:
     

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