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Discussion in 'Off-Topic' started by superman22, Mar 31, 2004.
sex before marriage
personally, im against it.
doesn't bother me, before marriage implies that they're eventually getting married or are we just talking about anything outside of marriage? its the same the either way to me, but will others have discerning opinions?
I've had lots of sex before marraige...
...or did you mean with another person?
Actually, I think sex before marraige is both fun and valuable, that way you don't marry someone who sucks at sex. These days sex is such a non-event that you might as well be doing it. With protection of course, don't be a fool...wrap your PENIS.
PS: Rhyming is for LAMERS.
I'm all for it if it's done safely. I'm certainly not going to marry someone whom I don't know how they are in bed. Casual sex is no big deal, but it's an important part of a relationship. I think people put way too much importance on it. It's not sacred or something that should only be done by married people, IMO. It's just sex. *shrug*
i don't see anything wrong with it. responsibility is the only thing that really matters there
I don't think sex can be bad for a man...I mean the worst she can do is lie there....and you know...you get my point.
There is nothing wrong with sex before marriage.
I agree with Superman. The second you see someone naked, you are hereby officially married in the church of Pierrot.
Commence with the lovemaking. It's kosher now.
(For those who don't get my point, marriage is arbitrary, sex isn't, thusly making the whole argument silly in my opinion from the standpoint of married or not -- if you want to discuss one night stands then maybe I'll give an educated response)
Sexual compatibility is an important part of every relationship.
p.s. I have no problems with sex before marriage.
Great, now i'm married to Durf, Nova, and Psycho. I'm a freaking polygamist
imho, i think it is wrong...
first off.. i guess it has to do with my religion. god created sex for man and his wife. it was somethign sacred that he gave a married couple, so i guess i disagree with you on that part of it being not sacred. it is something reserved in a way.
(i know this is my religion (christianity) and no one may believe it, but im just presenting my views)
second of all, how would you like it knowing that your wife slept with 20 different guys before sleeping with you? theres nothing special in sex. i think society has glamourized and made sex such a common day think. through television and other means of media, sex has been used so much, and so appealing, that people think its ok now.
this is true for a lot of things.
one main example is clothing.
a decade or two or three ago, skin was sacred. nothing revealing was usually worn, such as mini skirts or spaghetti straps. only prostitutes were known to wear them.
but through media and habituation, we perserve it to be ok.
its appealing now and actually encouraged to show more and more skin.
all in all, i believe it is wrong, because it is something special that is only reserved or should be reserved to your special guy/girl.
most people with agree with me, were it in the past.
and i believe the media is the most at fault for creating this state of mind where sex is ok. sex is common. you should have sex.
i can picture a majority of the arguements here.
a relationship should be based off of sex, so i should know how well they are in bed: well this would qualify all pornstars to be the most suited for marriage. but when you think about it, its kinda stupid and dumb.. a relationship and marriage arent based off of sex. its based off of one person and another. sex is something that they just share to enhance and make everything better.
everyone else does it, so why is it wrong?
well for this, i point back to my main paragraphs..
i dunno, this is just a brief synapsis of my pov.
Sex is not a function of what someone has done in the past with another person. The only thing that matters about it is what you and the person you are doing it with and the act itself. If you're so hung up on petty things like numbers, why stop with sex? How do you feel if the girl you're going to marry saw 20 other guys naked but didn't sleep with them? Kissed 20 guys? Had feelings for one other guy?
sex is different. its just... i dunno, you can't compare sex to kisses or boyfriends/girlfriends
a virgin can never be a virgin again after sex. something changes. and the only one to make that permanent change should be the husband.
sex isnt something you do with any hot person you meet on the street, although that may be the popular belief.
There's a rule of thumb, or thumbs, even toes, that go along with dating/marrying women.
- If you can count all the men your significant other has slept with before you on one hand, she's marraige material
- If you can count all the men your significant other has slept with before you on two hands, she's casual relationship material
- If you start counting on your toes, or any other protruding body parts for all the men/women/animals your significant other has slept with or defiled, get out, get out as fast as you can.
Sex before marriage is like a test drive. Don't make a down payment until you've checked the goods.
how can you quantify something like sex?
i know its nothing specific in your case, like les than 5, less than 10, etc... but, sex is more of a, you slept with 1 girl before marraige, or you slept with 20.
either way, you broke something sacred between youand your future wife.
"Sacred" implies some kind of god-given status. What about people who have no god? Can't they make their own decisions?
There's nothing sacred about busting a females hymen. It can be messy, real messy, and it hurts, in some cases. There is no change in a person after they have had sex, aside from the fact that they may be more confident in bed, or may become closer to the person they had sex with. What are you talking about marriage isn't based off of sex. Your wedding night is the only night that you are actually guaranteed to have sex.
Also, you're right, 50 years ago showing off skin was pretty much frowned upon... If you're a female. Guys could go shirtless, and in shorts, yet women had to wrap themselves in horribly unsexy bathingsuits. Just because it was the standard then doesn't make it right. It was just a sign of a patriarical society, and the insecurities of males. Women should be regarded as equals, and as equals they should be able to bare as much skin as males, with the exception of boobies. And people in general should be able to wear whatever the hell they want, with certain restrictions.
Edit: Yeah what Durf said, and what about people who aren't planning on getting married?
I think that marriage itself produces more negative consequences than safe sex does in most cases.
If both parties go into the situation with full knowledge of what they're getting into, and if they're "protected," sex (marriage or not) can be a great, GREAT thing.
I can't see anything sacred about people bumping uglies. It's an act. It doesn't mean anything. God didn't give it to man and his wife. He also gave it to weasels, cows, dingos, hamsters and every other non-asexual mammal on the planet. Is an act that a rodent does when he feels the urge all that sacred?
I slept with many women before now, and I'm sure I'll sleep with more before I get married. Why should I hold someone to chastity when I'm not willing to make it? Besides... have you ever had sex with a virgin? They're terrible at it. I'd like my wedding night to be good with someone who knows what she's doing. Virgins are boring as hell in bed. I don't want my marriage getting off on the wrong foot with bad sex.
Skin wasn't sacred. Showing skin was a form of control over females because showing skin suddenly made a woman unchaste and slutty. Women were all supposed to be fragile and virtuous and completely reliant on men. It wasn't sacred, it was the conservativeness of the times and times change. For that I say thank god.
Because the body isn't a dirty, sinful thing that so many make it out to be. Making people ashamed of their bodies just harms them. There's nothing wrong with showing skin. It's only body parts, it won't hurt you.
Sex isn't special. Sex is a biological act designed for reproduction but gives pleasure and is therefore used as an act of enjoyment.
Why not? There's nothing dirty about sex. There's nothing harmful about it if you take precautions. People shouldn't be afraid of it.
No one said that a relationship should be based off sex. You're making that up. I said that sex is important in a relationship, which it is. Good sex is one of the primary methods of becoming closer and more intimate with one's partner. Bad sex is a major source of dissatisfaction in a relationship.
Not everyone does it. But there's nothing wrong with it. If you decide not to, that's your decision, but I don't think you should consider it wrong that other people do.