Relationship FAQ

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dantose

Diabloii.Net Member
Q: My girlfriend sucks and making sandwiches for me, what should i do?
A: My friend, women aren't born great sandwich makers they are taught to be. guide her through the sandwich making process, take pictures, make a video, something she can referance. make a list of sandwich funamentals and post it on the fridge.

Q: My gf sucks at pool, poker, videogames, and ping pong! What should I do when my friends are gone???[/QUOTE]
A: Do you really want to get beaten by a girl?
 

dodomac

Diabloii.Net Member
Did you get the one about having two girl best friends that are both potentially interested in you, one of them coming off of a rebound? And you have to choose ooooooo
 

dantose

Diabloii.Net Member
dodomac said:
Did you get the one about having two girl best friends that are both potentially interested in you, one of them coming off of a rebound? And you have to choose ooooooo
No, I didn't post a question proper and I will answer though.
 

dantose

Diabloii.Net Member
Q: I think you are wrong and will support my claim via cheezy 80's music in another thread.
A: While the 80's music was a very valid argument, you drew the wrong conclusions from it. And don't beat monks, it isn't nice.
 

GIR

Banned
Starfishied said:
1. My bf/gf is cheap, how do I get him/her to buy things for me?
I went through this very same problem with my girlfriend about a week ago. I used to buy her everything she wanted. I was living with her in her parents house until the end of my teen years, making good money as a supervisor, and didn't have anything to pay off besides car insurance/gas. A year ago her parents got a divorce, had to sell the house, and I moved out on my own, so now I have $900+ worth of bills a month, and I had my supervisor title yanked out from under my by some nutball religious freak operations manager who came into the company about a year and a half ago. So I explained to her that there's been some fairly obvious changes, and that I still love to ge her stuff and take her out, but she'd also have to be around more for me to be able to take her places. She said she'd be here more if we went out and not just sat around apartment. Thing is, whenever she comes over, she's tired and wants to sleep. So we do... well... we do after we clear up some... business... first, anyways. Whenever we argue, she likes to go around in circles, going over the same things over and over again.

Ultimately, I told her that if it was that important that she get something every time she's over, that I'd leave a 20 on the dresser for her.

Worked. She's the type you have to just be blunt with to make your point.
 

Deathwing

Banned
Heres my relationship FAQ (thanks to Starfishied for the questions :creep: )

Q. My bf/gf is...
A. Screw him/her. Have some beer. It makes it all better.

THE END :drink: :buddies:
 

maccool

Diabloii.Net Member
Who was the author of the first Relationship FAQ?

The answer lies at the bottom of post #18 in this thread, you non-post reading attention fiend.
 

piff

Diabloii.Net Member
The answer, as previously stated, is Boosh. And Zep, that avatar will give me nightmares...
 

dantose

Diabloii.Net Member
that's right my evil minions, keep this thread near the top so all future relationship questions can be consolidated.
 
I just got "close" for the first time with my gf/bf is it normal to give a comprehensive review including tapes to make a "play" book?
 

dantose

Diabloii.Net Member
G: I just got "close" for the first time with my gf/bf is it normal to give a comprehensive review including tapes to make a "play" book?
A: I wouldn't say it's the normal course of action but that isn't to say it is wrong. If (s)he goes for it then by all means game plan it. just remember video etiquette and never show your buddies even if you two break up.
 

Anakha1

Banned
I'm a bitter, self-absorbed shut-in who has a general disdain and fear of love and all its effects and would rather spend all day working out to get the perfect body and schmoozing with various nubile ladies at night than get involved in anything remotely resembling commitment or curtailing of personal freedom involved in getting permanently attached. Am I eventually going to grow out of that and leave my life of fun, sex and women and fall head over heels in love with a woman who has the will and perseverance to tame me and thus turn my life into a bad episode or Friends where one of those vapid cheerleader twits finds some nameless schlub of a boyfriend who's some badass and she tries to make him settle down but in the end realizes that one can't force others to change and all she really needs is herself and her friends and everyone laughs and learns and loves and I die a little inside or am I destined to be a man-whore forever?

Not that it matters, I'm just curious.
 

dantose

Diabloii.Net Member
G: I'm a bitter, self-absorbed shut-in who has a general disdain and fear of love and all its effects and would rather spend all day working out to get the perfect body and schmoozing with various nubile ladies at night than get involved in anything remotely resembling commitment or curtailing of personal freedom involved in getting permanently attached. Am I eventually going to grow out of that and leave my life of fun, sex and women and fall head over heels in love with a woman who has the will and perseverance to tame me and thus turn my life into a bad episode or Friends where one of those vapid cheerleader twits finds some nameless schlub of a boyfriend who's some badass and she tries to make him settle down but in the end realizes that one can't force others to change and all she really needs is herself and her friends and everyone laughs and learns and loves and I die a little inside or am I destined to be a man-whore forever?

A: Actually, you will contract a nasty STD named ABS (Accute B****yness Syndrome) As you grow old, you will end up shunned by all women not under your employ (the nightly employ that is). you will fall into a pit of dispair and wallow for years in self pity as you grow more bald and your body slips. you will contemplate suicide until you meet a horribly ugly girl as old as you have become and you will hit it off with her. you will end up falling in love and you will both be content. Then your dog will die.
 
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