Relationship FAQ

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dantose

Diabloii.Net Member
Q: after getting intiment with a girl I love I broke out in a full body rash, is this a sign that she and I are soul mates?
A: No, but close. it's actually a sign of the second stage of Syphilis
 

dantose

Diabloii.Net Member

Q: My g/f broke up w/ me, what should I do?
A: Work, talk to friends and family, and remember that there will be oher girls. If you get depressed go out and exercise. It will help you not be depressed and get you in shape. Do NOT try and get back together with her.

Q: I think my g/f is cheating on me, what should I do?
A: Gf? dump her then follow above advice. Wife? tougher question. It's your call but if you want to stay together go to marriage counseling.
 

Shaigon

Diabloii.Net Member
Q: My girlfriend sleeps with my brother more than she sleeps with me, what should I do?
A: Sleep with your brother so she cant
 

dantose

Diabloii.Net Member
Sp4rtacus said:
q: my girlfriend has a penis, what should i do?
a: call her your boyfriend.
you can also fly to san fran. but then that will probably not end up legal since municipal judges can't overturn rulings by state judges.
 
Q. I don't link any of the advice here what do I do?
A. Call us all hussies and storm of in a pissy fit.

You're all hussies! *storms of in a pissy fit*
 

Starfishied

Diabloii.Net Member
Hahah, I like this. Seriously, you should never ask strangers about your relationship. If you don't think it's gonna work out, just lose it.


How about these questions?? (answers may vary)

1. My bf/gf is cheap, how do I get him/her to buy things for me?
A. Relationship and love should not be based on money. You can however, ask him/her to occasionally surprise you with gifts, but not overly asked. If you expect him/her to spend money on you, you should reciprocate.

2. My bf/gf doesn't have time to call me. What does that mean?
A. There could be many reasons to this. Too busy with work, doesn't have money to pay the phone charges, he/she is avoiding you, etc. Compromising works well here. If you don't want to pay for the phone charges, write letters or email, but do it as often as possible. Commitment is the key here. Try to set a calling schedule that both of you can agree on.

Example: You call him/her at 8:00pm on Monday, Thursday, and Sunday; while he/she calls you at 9:00pm on Tuesday, Wednesday, Friday, and Sunday.

If at anytime you or your mate can't fulfill the schedule on that day, you or your mate should call/write/email/etc. ahead some time with the reasons. Be honest with the reasons and don't lie, as lying might make it worse. If neither one of you can fulfill this duty, you will never have time for each other as your relationship grows. Why bother having a relationship in the first place?

3. His/Her parents don't like me, what should I do?
A. Ignore them. Are you having a relationship with your bf/gf or his/her parents? If it bothers you so much, ask your mate to have a talk with his/her parents. If he chooses his parent over you, you should be out of picture, because he/she will always pay attention to his/her parents more than you.
 

Anakha1

Banned
Don't fall in love... it will stick to your face. Forget it... I'd rather fall in chocolate!

Don't worry if it feels like no one cares if you're alive. If you're really not sure, try missing a couple of credit card payments. If you're still obsessed with wooing said strumpet, remember... the quickest way to anyone's heart is not through the mind, the stomach or kindness but through the chest, with an axe. I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do, is stalk them and hope they panic and give in. And if all else failse just keep in mind that it takes 42 muscles to frown and only 4 to pull the trigger of a decent sniper rifle.

Personally I'd just as soon find a use for a hole in my head as I would for love. If I feel a need for personal fulfillment I'll be creative and invent a perversion.
Remember... the greatest lies of all time are:

I love you
This won't hurt a bit
The cheque's in the mail
I was just going to call you
Of course I'll respect you in the morning
We have a really challenging assignment for you
I'm from the government, and I'm here to help you

Nah... maybe I should give love a chance... after all, 100,000 lemmings can't be wrong. Now where's a cliff?
 

dantose

Diabloii.Net Member
Q: My bf/gf is cheap, how do I get him/her to buy things for me?
A: This one is easy, in the morning, ask them to pick up flowers on the way home. If (s)he forgets don't make a big deal of it just ask him again tomorrow. when (s)he does bring them at your request make it obvious you are happy. rinse and repeat after the old flowers die and are gone. Don't do this every day of course. Positive reinforcement works much better then "why don't you ever buy me flowers."

If you are not lookng for flowers but cell phones/clothes/cars. I suggest breaking up with the other person and getting a job instead.

Q: My bf/gf doesn't have time to call me. What does that mean?
A: If it is part of the larger problem of communication in general focus on that. don't get in a fight over it because that never helps but tell them you want to talk to them more often. find things they like to talk about. I would shy away from calling schedules since that sort of turns it into a task or a chore.

Q: His/Her parents don't like me, what should I do?
A: This can be a bigger problem than you think. NEVER get between someone and their parents. Never tell them their parents are bad people even if they just said it. Blood is thicker than water as they say. Try and sit down and talk to the persons parents about their concerns. Do NOT be standoffish with them. (you won't win in the long run, trust me).
 

Wuhan_Clan

Diabloii.Net Member
[spam] this thing needs to kept near the top at all times !! now that its slipped towards to bottom of the page, a couple more unnecessary relationship/love threads have appeared !! [/spam]
 

dantose

Diabloii.Net Member
Anakha1 said:
Don't fall in love... it will stick to your face. Forget it... I'd rather fall in chocolate!

Don't worry if it feels like no one cares if you're alive. If you're really not sure, try missing a couple of credit card payments. If you're still obsessed with wooing said strumpet, remember... the quickest way to anyone's heart is not through the mind, the stomach or kindness but through the chest, with an axe. I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do, is stalk them and hope they panic and give in. And if all else failse just keep in mind that it takes 42 muscles to frown and only 4 to pull the trigger of a decent sniper rifle.

Personally I'd just as soon find a use for a hole in my head as I would for love. If I feel a need for personal fulfillment I'll be creative and invent a perversion.
Remember... the greatest lies of all time are:

I love you
This won't hurt a bit
The cheque's in the mail
I was just going to call you
Of course I'll respect you in the morning
We have a really challenging assignment for you
I'm from the government, and I'm here to help you

Nah... maybe I should give love a chance... after all, 100,000 lemmings can't be wrong. Now where's a cliff?
anakatonkatruck666, don't give up that easy. we all love you!
 

nnndave

Diabloii.Net Member
What about important questions like:

Q. My girlfriend sucks and making sandwiches for me, what should i do?

Q. My gf sucks at pool, poker, videogames, and ping pong! What should I do when my friends are gone???
 

piff

Diabloii.Net Member
nnndave said:
Q. My girlfriend sucks and making sandwiches for me, what should i do?
A: Call her a cheating hussy and storm off in a pissy fit.

Q. My gf sucks at pool, poker, videogames, and ping pong! What should I do when my friends are gone???
A: Two answers here:
1. Call her a cheating hussy and storm off in a pissy fit...OR
2. Obviously, you should do something other than traditional games ;)...of course this could lead the question regarding full body rashes.
 

nnndave

Diabloii.Net Member
piff said:
A: Call her a cheating hussy and storm off in a pissy fit.


A: Two answers here:
1. Call her a cheating hussy and storm off in a pissy fit...OR
2. Obviously, you should do something other than traditional games ;)...of course this could lead the question regarding full body rashes.
lol I should of seen that coming :lol:

A full body rash would suck! I'll take a sandwich/videogames. piff, ever heard of a bed?
 
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