Quote of the Day:


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Abigail: "Daddy, how did William get sick?"
Me: "Well, you were sick and it's contagious so he got sick from you."
Abigail: "What's contagious?"
Me: "When the sickness is able to move from one person to another."
Abigail: "Who made me sick?"
Me: "A bacteria or virus you caught from someone else or from the air."
Abigail: "What's a virus?"
Me: "An very tiny organism that invades your body and tries to make it do something it doesn't like, which causes you to be sick."
Abigail: "I've never seen one of those."
Me: "That's because they are really small."
Abigail: "How small?"
Me: "So small you can't even see them."
Abigail: "Smaller than this?" <holds two pinched fingers from each hand together to make a small space> "I can't even see this."
Me: "Smaller than that, see the dust here on the dash of the car?"
Abigail: "Yes."
Me: "Much, much smaller than that."
Abigail: "Can a Unicorn crush them?"
Me: "A Unicorn? How did a unicorn get into this conversation?"
Abigail: "I like unicorns, they are pretty."
Me: "Oh."



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"Some that live deserve to die and some that die deserve to live"

-JRR Tolkein


"Okay, so we have teams of 6 for volleyball, and there are 42 people in this class. So that could be a problem, because if you use division, you will see that 6 does not go into 42 and we do not have even teams." - PE teacher


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maccool said:
To announce that there must be no criticism of the president, or that we are to stand by the president, right or wrong, is not only unpatriotic and servile, but is morally treasonable to the American public.

--Theodore Roosevelt (and he had a neat mustache)
Nice quote, MacCool. From a Republican, no less! :D

"Don't speak unless you can improve on the silence."
--Spanish proverb

"Live and scratch. When you die the itching stops."
--Russian proverb


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*In reference to an Orozco mural of Jesus cutting down the cross with an ax*
"Now I'm not sure what exactly this represents, but I think it represents the third day of the crusifiction... When he escaped from the cross."

-my Spanish teacher
"I believe the reason I smoke and drink and my wife is overweight is because we watched TV everyday for the last four years."
- Timothy Dumouchel, who threatened to sue a cable company for providing free cable for four years after he asked that it be canceled.


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"The fact that a believer is happier than a skeptic is no more to the point than the fact than a drunken man is happier than a sober one."
- George Bernard Shaw

That guy has so many great quotes.


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"You think that when the guy came up with the idea to invent a bomb, a black light popped up over his head?"
- Mitch Hedberg


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HimuraKenshin92 said:
"Some that live deserve to die and some that die deserve to live"

-JRR Tolkein

I'm pretty sure that's the worst butchering of that quote I've ever seen.


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"It is agreed, in this country, that if a man can arrange his religion so that it perfectly satisfies his conscience, it is not incumbent on him to care whether the arrangement is satisfactory to anyone else or not."

"I thoroughly disapprove of duels. I consider them unwise and I know they are dangerous. Also, sinful. If a man should challenge me now I would go to that man and take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to a quiet retired spot and kill him."

"It is not worth while to try to keep history from repeating itself, for man's character will always make the preventing of the repetitions impossible."

"The political and commercial morals of the United States are not merely food for laughter, they are an entire banquet."

"It could probably be shown by facts and figures that there is no distinctly native American criminal class except Congress."

"The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who can't read them."

-Mark Twain


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" I sware to drunk im not god " - Annonymous
" Why are you so worried about spending money? it grows on trees " - Me


HimuraKenshin92 said:
That was straight off of the top of my head. If it's that bad then post the full correct quote.
"Many that live deserve death. And some die that deserve life. Can you give it to them?"


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"I've had 18 straight whiskies, I think thats a record"
- Dylan Thomas

Also anyone who thinks that Gandalf quote was said in Moria and not in front of Frodo Baggin's fireplace deserves to be smacked with a large hobbit.