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Question about child and rights.

Discussion in 'Off-Topic' started by Dawnmaster, Sep 16, 2006.

  1. Dawnmaster

    Dawnmaster IncGamers Member

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    Question about child and rights.

    Here's the current situation:

    My sister got pregnant about 2 years ago (some of you might remember that thread) and gave birth to a son. He's now 1 year and 2 months (almost).

    My sister and her boyfriend don't live together and they aren't married.
    He acknowledged the little one, so the little one got his last name.

    But now, tragedy strikes, they split up.
    During the week the little one lives here, and when my sister is at school, we all look after him (me and my dad when we're home, my mom is always home)
    And in the weekend they used to live (unregistered or anything) at his father's house (the guy's parents are divorced)

    Now the guy said the little one can stay here with us, but we know his mother, she might not be so eager to give in, and she "knows" a few people (concerning the law) and eventhough he said the little one can stay, without a piece of paper, he can still come and get it if he wants to later.

    So my question is, what can happen now?
    Can the guy/his mother come and take the little one, do they have to go to court first or not, what are the possible outcomes, etc...
    Basically, anything that can happen.

    I'm not sure what more information anyone would need to shed some light on the case, so feel free to ask.

    (I kinda browsed google before coming here, but all I got was random garbage, loads of it, not very easy to read when it's written in law language)

    Btw: We live in Belgium should that matter, but according to a certain child contract, most countries of the world have the same laws regarding children etc (so I've read)
     
  2. ModeratelyConfused

    ModeratelyConfused Banned

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    My advice, which should be taken with a grain of salt: Go to court, file for full custody, and get child support, if those options exist. He may seem nice now, and for all anyone knows, he might stay that way. But if for some reason he feels slighted in any way, he may decide to "get back" at her, and take the kid for himself.
     
  3. FathomFear

    FathomFear IncGamers Member

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    Well, the best course of action would be to consult a lawyer and ask those questions. I would not trust the internet too much. Too many unreliable sources.

    But in regards to your main issue--is there a particular reason why you are afraid of him having visitation? He is the father after all. And his mother probably cares just as much as your mother. Unless there is lots of bitterness and resentment in the mix, I would not be worried too much.
     
  4. HAMC8112

    HAMC8112 IncGamers Member

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    Well, with good rights no? It is his kid after all.

    Talk to a lawyer sounds like good advice though.
     
  5. Talga Vasternich

    Talga Vasternich IncGamers Member

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    I'm very well-versed in the US laws concerning custody, but Belgium is likely different.
    In the US, the parents can come and get the child whenever they see fit, without having to go to court. This is their child.
    Without a court-ordered custody document, the rights of the parents to have custody of their child outweigh any other concerns (assuming the child is not in danger).
    The child's grandparent (again speaking of US laws) cannot take a child away from a parent. Also, in the abscense of a parent (and custody odrer), a child cannot be taken away from their current residence by anyone other than a parent. So if this was in the US, the grandmother could not take the child if the guardian at the child's residence did not want the child removed.
    As said earlier, go to a lawyer and get a custody order (with support).
    This only benefits the child, since there can be no bickering about the order after it is signed off by a judge.
    ~edit~ There CAN be bickering, but law enforcement can act upon a custody order whereas they cannot do anything without one.
     
  6. HockeyChic

    HockeyChic Banned

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    Get a court ordered custody agreement. When I was first separated from my oldest's father (we were married) the only way that I could stop him from walking off with her was to get paperwork. I filed for divorce and gained full legal/physical custody. Likely your sister would be able to get similar documents even though they are not married.
     
  7. HockeyChic

    HockeyChic Banned

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    double post. . . sorry.
     
  8. Yaboosh

    Yaboosh IncGamers Member

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    Hmmm, lets see, advice from a Diablo OTF concerning custody laws in Belgium.... if anybody says anything other than get a lawyer then they should, uhh, not say that thing. This is the completely wrong thing to be asking here.
     
  9. Stompwampa

    Stompwampa IncGamers Member

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    I say to lawyer up and figure out what your otiions are.

    I know that here in the U.S, grandparents can file for visitation rights if they feel that they are not being allowed to see their grandchild often enough or even at all. They cannot file for custody...only visitation. But since they're the grandparent, if any is granted, it is usually minimal. I've never even heard of this before, until I was doing some research on this matter when our daughter was born.

    I'm also pretty sure that the father can't just come in and take the baby if he wants. At least here in the U.S. that is the case. THe only benefit to him putting his name on the birth certificate is that it gives him the right to file for custody. AFAIK the mother has full custody of the child in the event of a split of the partners. The father can then file for a custody agreement if he put his name on the BC. If not, then he's out of luck.
    The mother could then file for child support if the father isn't pulling his share in providing for/taking care of the child. But I'm pretty sure that as far as the law is concerned, the mother has full custody until it is legally determined otherwise.

    But like I said, get a lawyer. Don't take anyone's advice here without first finding out how accurate we are.
     
  10. Talga Vasternich

    Talga Vasternich IncGamers Member

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    Everyone has said - talk to/get a lawyer.
    As far as asking, even though we don't live in Belgium, there are people who have gone through this kind of thing everywhere. If someone hasn't had this kind of experience, then asking people who have gone through it is a place to start.
     
  11. Dondrei

    Dondrei IncGamers Member

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    I dunno, you might want to start by talking to them though. Legal action should always be your last recourse, it's ugly and expensive for everyone.
     
  12. Stompwampa

    Stompwampa IncGamers Member

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    True that.

    Why are you wanting to do this anyways? Are you worried about the father getting abusive/negligent/kidnapping/all of the above?
     
  13. PlagueBearer

    PlagueBearer IncGamers Member

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    "If you find that violence will not solve your problem, you are simply not being violent enough."
     
  14. Dawnmaster

    Dawnmaster IncGamers Member

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    Well, first of all, thanks for all the replies.

    For the ones wondering why I'm asking it here, I wouldn't know where else to ask, I've seen various things being posted here and thought it'd be the good place.

    Secondly, we're not gonna take law steps, we were only worried that the guy's mother might take them (since she has connections) so we just wanted to be prepared what can be done if she did.

    We're also not interested and starting an ugly and expensive show which decides what's best for the little one, for now, he can stay with us, we weren't sure what rights there'd be if the guy changes his mind.

    (we're not concerned about abuse orso, but we are concerned that if he shares custody, he can't take care of the little one alone, he's very clumpsy, not too bright, doens't know what to do half the time, even when he was here, we didn't dare to leave the little one alone with him, he almost dropped him a few times, can't feed him properly etc => well you get the idea, and apart from that, not so much concerned for now, but in a distant future, the guy might act a bit like his father, oldest brother and grandfather, his family has a history of violence and leaving the little one there kinda scares us)
     
  15. Quietus

    Quietus IncGamers Member

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    As everyone else has mentioned, I think you should consider getting a lawyer - Even though you don't want to take legal action, talking to one now will get you in with them already, which means they'll already be familiar with your situation if anything DOES happen, and so they'll be able to take actions much more quickly. Also, they'll be able to prepare you for what they expect will happen if the grandparents do take legal action.

    Though, I do wonder - what does the child's father have to say about this? Is he happy with the situation? Does he agree with his parent's stance, and the potential of taking legal action? If he does, I'd DEFINATELY talk to a lawyer right now. If he doesn't, or is on the fence (in this case, I'd assume that on the fence means he agrees with the current setup but is afraid to go against his parents, but that's just me), then maybe talking with him, and getting something written out would be a good idea. A written record of the fact that this is an acceptable custody situation for him will be a great tool to have if the grandparents take things to court, and will show that it's his grandparent's interest, not his, that things change. And it's doubtful that a court would order a different custody situation based on the grandparents, if it was acceptable to the parents.
     
  16. Stompwampa

    Stompwampa IncGamers Member

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    I'm 99.9% sure that the guy's mother can do nothing so long as the baby's natural parents are still alive. I don't think you have much to worry about. The only extreme case I could think of happening would be if the father somehow became unable to think/act on his own volition, the his mother could possible assume power of attorny over his decisons and try to get custody of the baby on "his behalf"
    But yea, that's pretty far fetched...so I don't think you have much to worry about. :thumbsup:

    Also, most lawyers these days will give you a free consultation. It might be wise to sit down with one and explain your situation to them. It probably won't cost you anything, and then they'll be ready for your case should something arise (as has already been said.)
     

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