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Overprotective my butt

Discussion in 'Off-Topic' started by zodiac66, May 26, 2005.

  1. zodiac66

    zodiac66 IncGamers Member

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    Overprotective my butt

    I don't have the patience to look through past posts, but I have been called over protective because I sit with Liam and wait for the school bus.

    In the past month, there have been 21 attempted child abductions in my county and the county next to mine. It seems as every other day now there is a report.
    Recent ones:

    A 7-year-old Akron girl says a man knocked her off her bicycle and tried to choke her Sunday near a wooded area on her family's dead-end street in Goodyear Heights.

    A couple of hours later, two young sisters playing in Guilford Township in Medina County reported that a man pulled his car into their driveway, got out and tried to grab them.

    Although there doesn't appear to be a link, police and sheriff's deputies are taking both reports seriously and investigating to see how they compare to a string of recent abduction attempts in the area.

    Akron police Sgt. Brian Harding said the incident involving the Akron girl who was nearly choked was clearly an assault but not quite an abduction attempt.

    ``We really don't know what the person's motive was,'' he said. ``The person didn't say anything to the girl the whole time.''

    The incident occurred about 5 p.m. Sunday on Danmead Street. The 7-year-old girl was riding bikes with her 9-year-old sister in the cul-de-sac when a thin, tattooed white man, about 5 feet 5 inches tall and dressed in black, walked out of the wooded area at the end of the street.

    Harding said the 7-year-old told officers the man knocked her off her bike. He stepped away for a moment and then reappeared with a plastic strap in his hand.

    ``He put (the strap) around her neck and starts to choke her,'' Harding said.

    When the girl's 9-year-old sister ran off to alert a family member, the man fled.

    Harding said the strap left a red mark on the 7-year-old's neck. She was treated at the scene, not taken to a hospital, and was able to attend school Monday.

    The girls told police the man appeared to have tattoos on both forearms. The one on his right forearm was of a red skull with writing below it.

    In the Guilford Township incident, which occurred about 7:15 p.m. Sunday, a 7-year-old girl and her 5-year-old sister were playing in their front yard. They told Medina County sheriff's deputies that a gray-haired white man in a light blue, four-door car pulled into their driveway on Guilford Road.

    The sisters' description of the gray-haired man is similar to one given in some of the past incidents.

    The girls say the man got out of the car and tried to grab them. They ran to get their father, who was doing yardwork.

    The girls described the attempted abductor as having a snake tattoo on his upper right arm. They say he was wearing black pants and a yellow shirt and carried a cane.

    There were no arrests in either incident.

    Medina County sheriff's detectives could not be reached for comment Monday.

    Before Sunday's incidents, authorities in several area communities, including Medina County's Montville Township and Summit County's Springfield Township and Norton, had reported abduction attempts.


    This morning, a six grade girl was a victim walking to school in Kent, Ohio. None of these communities are inner city. They are all 'burbs.

    Liam and I had a long talk that lasted 2 days. I know he is in a low risk group since I really don't let him out of my sight or Grammas sight except for school. I have told Liam that he can't take Samara out for a wagon ride at my Mom's house unless an adult is with them.

    Overprotective or paranoid? You be the judge. The tri-county area is experiencing a rash of attempted abductions. There are some good things to come out of it though, children know what to do in a crisis. Every single one of those children should be applauded for not being a victim. They knew what to do and did it. The parents of these children need to be applauded as well for teaching their children.

    A bad point to this is:

    PLAIN TWP. — A 10-year-old boy with a strong fear of abduction was suspended from school after he brought an unloaded handgun to school Tuesday.

    The boy’s suspension is for 10 days and will end his school year, but he could face expulsion up to a year, depending on interviews next week with teachers, a psychologist and his parents, said Warstler School Principal Sue Ellen Svik.

    The gun was discovered at about noon when he and other children were on the playground, Svik said. A couple of students saw a silver object fall from the front pouch of his sweat shirt and told a school recess aide. The aide called the boy over and asked him what he had in the pouch. After finding the gun, she took him to the principal’s office.

    Svik said the boy was very concerned about children being abducted.

    “He was aware of the man in Massillon that has been in the papers recently, and he had seen something on TV in the morning about an incident in Akron,†Svik said. “His mother said she had talked to him about what he should do if anyone tried to abduct him. It seemed to be on his mind.â€

    The gun had an empty bullet clip in the handle, and the boy knew what the clip was for and that he would not be able to shoot the gun.

    “He felt it would scare someone away if he was just holding it,†Svik said. “He is pretty much an average student and we’ve had no previous problems with him.â€

    James Aquilo, administrative assistant to the superintendent, said the school held an information night two weeks ago for students and parents about abductions and what to look for and what to do. The boy and his parents attended the meeting.

    “We played into it, too,†he said. “You try to get as much information out as you can to keep things from happening, but it made him afraid.â€

    Aquilo said he didn’t know if the suspension would affect the boy’s placement next year, if he is allowed to return to school. He was in the fourth grade this year.

    “There are certain requirements he’d have to meet,†he said. “That will be looked at as we work through this.â€
     
  2. Amra

    Amra IncGamers Member

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    I think you are being a good parent.

    You don't need to answer to anyone here.
     
  3. MixedVariety

    MixedVariety Banned

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    Ha. I still wait at the bus stop with my youngest daughter; she's 11 now and feels I should let her go alone. But it's out of my sight, and if I had to run it would take me 37 seconds to get there, plenty of time for someone to pull her into a car and take off, and she's a pretty little thing. All it would take is one mistake for me to miss her for the rest of my life, and for her to miss the rest of hers.
    Heck...my 18 year old daughter is home from college and quite angry with me because I won't let her walk down the street and hang out with Paul, a boy she's vaguely interested in or has been friends with for a few years. Conversation goes like this:

    M (Meg)-I'm leaving now.
    D (Dad, me)-Oh? Where are you going?
    M-Down the street to visit Paul.
    D-Paul who? Did I ever meet him?
    M-Paul, you know, he lives down the street, I don't think you ever met him.
    D-Well, you're not going over there unless he comes over, knocks on the door, and meets me like a real man should.
    M-Bla bla old fashioned, bla bla I'm 18 and an adult, bla bla can't tell me what to do, bla bla.
    D-Sure, you're right. You're an adult now. Adults should live on their own and support themselves. If you feel the need to stress your emancipation any further over such a little thing, please, by all means, move out, write off the rest of college and find a place to live on your own. Just so you can say you told me so. How's that sound?
    M-grumble crab Fine I'll tell Paul to come over and get me.

    So, yeah. You're being a good Mom, Zodi, and nobody else's opinion matters. And, it never stops.
     
  4. Garbad_the_Weak

    Garbad_the_Weak IncGamers Member

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    Sorry MV, that is a bit overboard. If she can't take care of herself at 18, when will she? Not to mention probably counterproductive - she won't put up with that for long, and the backlash might wipe out the good habits you taught her.

    Zodi, you are fine. Teach your kids to be safe and do what you think is necessary. And don't worry about what other's say. Trust your instincts.

    Garbad
     
  5. Jesse24

    Jesse24 IncGamers Member

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    Overprotective parents
    Pros:
    -Their children get abducted less
    -They love their child, child will never feel lack of affection

    Cons:
    -Child grows up and becomes reliant on parents for the rest of his/her life
    -Child has trouble trying new things on their own
    -Child won't know how to handle a situation when something serious happens and you're not there.
     
  6. MixedVariety

    MixedVariety Banned

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    Fortunately for my children, it is me who is raising them, not you. If she can't 'put up' with it, she'll have to take care of herself. My request was not unreasonable and she knew it. Her safety and knowing who she is with, as long as she's living with me, is paramount.

    Edit: Jesse, you are right about some of your post. While my daughter is at college, she takes care of herself, and I have to trust her. While she is home, she must abide by reasonable house rules; otherwise the attempt is made to establish dorm rules in the house, and that won't fly, especially since I'm still raising younger children.
     
  7. {KOW}Spazed

    {KOW}Spazed Banned

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    I wouldn't consider that overprotective, especially in light of the recent happenings.

    As for Mixed, if she and Paul were just friends I wouldn't have a problem, but since she is interested in him I think it is ok to want to meet him.
     
  8. Garbad_the_Weak

    Garbad_the_Weak IncGamers Member

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    So you think in the next 3-5 years she will magically transform from a child who needs her dad's permission to walk down the road into a selfsufficient adult?

    Garbad
     
  9. {KOW}Spazed

    {KOW}Spazed Banned

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    I think he thinks that she can walk down the street now. His problem isn't being worried she will get abducted, rather she has a romantic interest in a man he knows nothing about. He wanted to meet the boy in person to see who his daughter is interested in . . . what's wrong with that? The threat was him just making such a big deal out of it she would agree without further argument.
     
  10. MixedVariety

    MixedVariety Banned

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    You probably didn't see my edit. The rest of the year, she is living at college in a dorm and does who knows what, and I realize that.
    And, she doesn't need my permission to see the guy; there's nothing I can do about that. But my take on it is, and I grudgingly got Meg to agree, what kind of boy--or man--would refuse to meet a girl's parents, and what kind of girl would think that was ok?
    The dude came over, we chatted, he's a decent guy, he now knows that I am decent as well but capable of steel when required, and he doesn't shake hands like a dead herring. All is well and you're still not raising my kids; what could be better?
     
  11. Garbad_the_Weak

    Garbad_the_Weak IncGamers Member

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    No need to get defensive MV. Your clarifications make it a little better, but you still seem like a classic overprotective parent to me.

    Ask yourself, why do you need to impress the boy about your "steel"? And why do you need to forcefit your adult daughter into her old role as a child? Would your houserules apply to her when she is 30? What is the difference? And why make money a weapon to control her with?

    But meh, this will probably only aggrivate you. Your child, she gets to deal with the baggage. No offense MV.

    Garbad
     
  12. zodiac66

    zodiac66 IncGamers Member

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    You can tell you don't have kids. No matter what age your children are, they are still your babies. Parents look out for their kids until they die. Parenting is not an 18 year job, its a lifetime job. You want whats best for them and I see nothing wrong with insisting to meet a beau.

    Earlier this year, Liam was invited to a friend's house and I had not met the parents. In no way was I going to allow him over there until I met them and decided if they were decent people. I can't just drop my child off at someone's house and say "Have fun!". I sat with Kevin's mom and we chatted for a few hours. Upon leaving I told her that I hope no offence was taken because I wouldn't let Liam come over until I met her and she was fine with that. She is the same way.

    Not only people here have called me overprotective, people who I know personally have told me the same thing. I don't feel that I am, I feel as though I am a good parent and looking out for my children.
     
  13. Garbad_the_Weak

    Garbad_the_Weak IncGamers Member

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    Try again. Although it is true I don't have teenagers, so my opinion is invalid if you go by the "you must experience it to know" theory.

    But I didn't take it as meeting a guy, I thought he was saying his daughter wasn't allowed to walk up the road alone. The meeting him deal is less of a big deal. Even house rules are more reasonable than needed permission to walk up he road alone at 18.

    Almost all parents underestimate the capacity of their children. Including me, I am sure.

    Garbad
     
  14. MixedVariety

    MixedVariety Banned

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    I'm probably seeming more overprotective than I really am. There are a couple of standard rules I've always raised my kids by, which is to have honor and to learn to decipher someone's character by their actions. In general, if someone doesn't want to meet a girl's parents, there is something to hide. If not, you err on the side of safety.

    Meg is, and always has been, extremely independent. She does a find job of taking care of herself and is in no way overprotected; I have always let her have her freedoms whenever possible and safe.

    But she came home from college with the odd behaviors that people develop there, keeping all hours of the night and whatnot, and it doesn't mesh with the rest of the family. It cannot be that way; it should not be we who compromise to her lifestyle, but her who learns to slip back into family life when possible. Eighteen or not, legal adult or not, as long as she is still dependent on me for her sustenance she should expect at least some restrictions on her actions, such as car use and the like. And dammit, you never stop worrying about them and a child should take that into consideration too, especially when the requests made by the parents are reasonable.
    So yeah, Garbad...so far, I think I've done a good job as a father, and my kids still seem to like me. So when you come in with your "Arrgh, Oppression of the Innocents" blather, you question that of which you know nothing. And I believe my type of overprotectiveness might save more lives than nonchalance and ignorance.
     
  15. Cloud_Walker

    Cloud_Walker Banned

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    You were doing good up until this part. Nobody was arguing for those extremes.

    I think your request is reasonable, but then again I'm the type of guy that wouldn't mind meeting a girl's parents.
     
  16. MixedVariety

    MixedVariety Banned

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    Which is a measure of character, basically, yes?

    Edit:

    Yeah, I know. It sounded better in my brain than it looks in print; there was a sort of Diablo voice that went with the 'Arggh' statement.
     
  17. Cloud_Walker

    Cloud_Walker Banned

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    Of course.
     
  18. DurfBarian

    DurfBarian IncGamers Member

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    Zodiac, why the hell would you pay attention to the ravings of kids on a gaming forum? I'm with Amra. Raise your own kids; you're doing fine and need no input from the monkey cage here. (That said, if you come here asking for advice and are complaining about the advice you got, I have less sympathy; if these were unrequested comments on your parenting style just ignore them.)

    As for the 18-year-old, Garbad is off-base here. There's nothing wrong with a parent telling his home-dwelling teenage daughter that he wants to be a little more old-fashioned about the "meeting potential boyfriends" thing. It has nothing to do with retarding her development as a social adult. If anything, it's giving her a better idea of how to deal with things like an adult . . . following rules you live under, ways to raise her own kids when she has them someday, all that good stuff.
     
  19. axeil

    axeil IncGamers Member

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    As an almost 18 year old guy (1 year shy) I don't think Mixed's request is all that unreasonable. It would be unreasonable if it just turned into a "make the guy never want to come back" event which has happened to some of my friend's boyfriends that I know (I hope that was clear. If not: some friends of mine who are guys had their dad's berate their boyfriends/potential boyfriends for no reason. I also happen to know some of the boyfriends/potential boyfriends and I'm 99% sure they didn't deserve it.). But Mixed seems to just be acting like a good dad. Sounds like they just had a friendly conversation.

    Furthermore, if the relationship gets long-term any visitation or trips with the signifigant other and their family is easier if the counterpart has known mom, dad, bro, sis, etc. from the start.
     
  20. bigD72

    bigD72 IncGamers Member

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    MV, I think you would like me, if you didn't know me. I refuse to take a girl out or hang out with them if I haven't met her parents. A few have insisted on me waiting in the driveway and honking the horn at them. I feel it completely necessary to go up, knock on the door and meet whomever is putting their ill-fated trust in me to take care of their daughter.
     

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