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OTcars Award Ceremony!

Discussion in 'Off-Topic' started by piff, Apr 26, 2005.

  1. piff

    piff IncGamers Member

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    OTcars Award Ceremony!

    Welcome to the diabloii.net Off Topic Forum for their kinda-annual OTcar Awards! First
    off, I'd like to thank the admins, Elly, Rush, and gang for hosting this great event. Next,
    I'd like to thank Blizzard for giving us all a reason to be here. Thirdly, there's Freet and
    DOC for moderating, Bas for starting this whole event so long ago, and finally
    AeroJonesy and myself for running it this year. A round of applause, everyone! *fades to
    commercials*

    *comes back in*
    Welcome back viewers. Now we will be treated to a performance by Hippie Holocost's
    band, D'Ian Brax! Give it up! *rocks out to Sweet Mary Jane and Mojo Kitty* A big
    hand to the band, everyone! *more long, drawn out applause to fill a God-awful amount
    of time* Now for the moments you've all been waiting for, the awards! Unfortunately,
    this year we could find no one to make the awards, so you'll just have the honor of making
    one yourself.

    Now, for the award going to The Best Male Poster. The nominees are: DurfBarian,
    Drunk Cajun, and rplusplus!!! And the award going to the best male poster goes to
    DrunkCajun!!! This is his first ever OTcar win, folks, and it's the big one!

    And on to The Best Female Poster. Nominees are: Isolde 12, zodiac66, and
    StarStageGurl! The winner, also a first time winner getting the big one, Isolde 12!!!

    Yes, unlike most award ceremonies, we do the important ones first, and make you think
    there will be a climax at the end. So keep looking forward to that climax.

    Award three, The Einstein Award. This goes to our most intelligent member. Nominees:
    DurfBarian, AeroJonesy, Pierrot le Fou, and tarnok!! Our winner, in an upset victory,
    AeroJonesy!! Please come glie forward on the contraption you invented and accept your
    award.

    This next award goes to the forum funny guy. It's the Chuckle Award. Nominees are:
    TerdFergusn and DurfBarian. And the award goes to...TerdFergusen!!! Unfortunately,
    he could not be admitted into the building, so we will have to mail him the award.

    Ahh, the Mother Teresa Award, going to our most caring poster. Well, I'll say right now,
    we have a problem. Our nominees are zodiac66 and MixedVariety, both loving parents to
    perfect kids. The problem is that we have a tie! Both nominees got the exact same
    number of votes and nominations, so we'll have to give two awards out. Congratulations!

    Now to the mother ******* Most Foul-Mouthed Poster Award. The ******* nominees
    are Jigga-Scrooge, TurdFergusen, and GIR. The winner is that little *****,
    Jigga_Scrooge! Come get the ******* award, you ***.

    Sorry 'bout the profanity, folks, but some things must be kept in spirit. Now, the seventh
    and eighth awards, The Sexiest Male and Female Awards! Nominees are, for their
    respective genders:
    rplusplus
    DJ_Otaku
    DrunkCajun
    AeroJonesy
    Isolde212
    ZeppelinAngel
    StarStageGurl
    And the two members on the OTF Calendar of 2006 will be: AeroJonesy and Isolde 12!! It hits stores in November 2005.

    Now number 9, Gone But Not Forgotten.
    Nominees:
    PsychoFreak
    Hatsepsut
    Gaile
    Suicidal Zebra
    Canadia142
    The winner is: Canadia142. Another member who cannot enter the building, so will
    someone please accept the award and be sure it gets to him. Thanks.

    Yes, I'm getting bored and tired of this, so nominees are now in list form. Thanks for
    understanding.

    Award 10, The Oddball Award. Nominees:
    Ash Housewares
    TurdFergusen
    raffster
    Our unusual winner is, in what seems to be an upset to me: Ash Housewares! Can you
    please post your way to the stage and get your award, then make five posts about it?

    Now the award given to us by two of our most dangerous ex-members, FleshGordon and
    PsychoFreak, the Menace to Society Award. Nominees:
    Freemason
    PublicEnemy
    SirKnightmare
    GIR
    Ash Housewares
    Winner, please come up but don't be scared when I slowly back away: Freemason!

    Everyone wishes they could be the next award winner, The Most Envied Poster award!
    Only two nominees:
    DurfBarian
    Anakha1
    And my most admired winner: DurfBarian

    Next up is the S-M-R-T Award, going to our most not intelligent person. Nominees:
    raffster
    Guspasho
    Winner: Raffster, you idiot!

    Now for the Furrowed Brow Award. I am surprise Felstorm isn't here, but the nominees
    are:
    llad12
    jmervyn
    And our winner is: llad12! Please get the stick out form you-know-where and come enjoy
    a moment with your award!

    mrLang's 'Poster Least Likely To Be Seen In OT Chat' Award. Nominees are:
    llad12
    Freet
    The winner: our current Moderator, Freet! Please ride your 'diller up here and get you
    award!

    Limited Vocab aka Lazy Fingers Award: noms:
    Ash Housewares
    TurdFerguson
    win: Ash

    Now this is an interesting occurance. This award is Cmdr_Adeon's 'Least Likely to Win
    an OTcar' Award, and we normally give out one of these. Well, the same will happen this
    time, but there is a tie so because this is the least likely to get an award award, each
    member will get half of the award, because they weren't even supposed to get one.
    Nominees:
    SelfBaisResistor
    piff
    DJ_Otaku
    Pierrot le Fou
    And our joint winners: SelfBaisResistor and piff. SBR, come join me on stage.

    I expect the winner of this award to have already won an award, a best poster award,
    becuase both best posters were newcomers. Without further ado, the nominees:
    DrunkCajun
    Isolde212
    StarStageGurl
    Raffster
    And our winner for the Newcomer Award is DrunkCajun!

    This next award goes to the most wordy, long-winded poster in out wonderfully expansive
    forums. The ‘Mabel, so I says to Mabel’ Award’s nominees are:
    Pierrot le Fou
    DrunkPotHead
    llad12
    The victor of this shiny award is none other than the great, long-winded predecesor of
    Babin, Pierrot le Fou!

    *commercial break. return to City High performing their hit, What Would You Do.
    (music) What would you do if your son was at home, crying all alone on the bedroom
    floor ‘cause he’s hungry, and the only way to feed him...* I hope I just got that song
    stuck in everyone’s heads, because I cannot stop singing it.

    Back to the awards. The Thinker Award goes to the most philosophical thinker here, as
    opposed to the straight up smart person who won the Einstein Award. Nominees:
    Pierrot le Fou
    Technetium
    raffster
    And the winner is, once again, Pierrot le Fou!!!

    Those funny little pictures under everyone’s name can really brighten someone’s day. The
    winner of this award, The Best Avatar Award, has proven this point very true. And our
    nominees are:
    DrunkCajun – A Guinness bottle covered with flashing Christmas lights
    Aeval – The bunny from Everyone has had more sex than me
    SelfBaisResistor – Thread Killer ‘tar
    Freemason – Osama Bin Laden getting blown up
    And the OTF’s favorite avatar of the yerar belongs to Aeval with her sexless bunny!

    Few members here remember our great debator Alastor, and this award was dedicated by
    him. It is time for Alastor's 'Debator' Award. Nominees:
    Jmervyn
    llad12
    Pierrot le Fou
    And the winner is, stopping Pierrot’s swiping of all the awards, llad12!

    GreyGuardian's ‘Poster Who Has Changed Most Since Their Initial Debut in the
    OTF’ Award. It doesn’t get any more explained than that. Nominees:
    Pierrot le Fou
    ZeppelinAngel
    raffster
    Winner: ZeppelinAngel!

    Now for what I thought would be my favorite award, which quickly changed once I found
    out who the winner was. PsychoFreak's ‘Poster Most Likely to Sleep With or Bribe
    the Award Presenter’ Award. Nominees:
    piff (don’t ask)
    Ash Housewares
    Lord_Shinnok
    Isolde212
    {KOW}Spazed
    And, to my dismay, the winner is: Lord_Shinnok...I’m gonna go over there while you
    accept your award.

    Once again, a very straight forward award: GreyGuardian's ‘Poster Who Would Make
    the Best Admin’ Award. Nominees:
    LunarSolaris
    DurfBarian
    In a fairly strong victory, LunarSolaris would make the best admin!

    To no surprise, the two nominees for this award, The Monkey Sex Award, are female.
    They are:
    Isolde12
    ZeppelinAngel
    And in one of the most heated races of the OTcars, Isolde12 comes out on top! In
    multiple ways!

    Another self-explaintory award: Amra's 'Poster Who Has Done the Most for the OTF'
    Award. Nominees are:
    DurfBarian
    rplusplus
    And the winner, without much doubt, is DurfBarian!

    And my favorite award to present, the Best Admin/Mod Award. There is no better way
    to score cookie points than to present this award. Nominees:
    DOC
    Freet
    Gaile
    Fallen_62
    And the winner is, please accept this with my greatest humility, Freet! This race was so
    tight that the final decision came down to Freet’s most nominations in the first ballot.

    And for the award that will never get any explaination, The Longest Member Award.
    Nominees:
    DurfBarian
    Ash Housewares
    And the man with the longest member: DurfBarian!

    Now for a very important member who few know much about’s award, mrLang's 'Best
    Poster Not Yet Nominated' Award. Our nominees are:
    SelfBaisResistor
    AeroJonesy
    The winner, in another back and forth race, SelfBiasResistor!

    Thankfuilly for me, another very clear award: Amra's 'Legend in Their Own Mind'
    Award. Nominees are:
    Freemason
    aragorn_elessar
    Anakha1
    Ash Housewares
    And the member with the biggest head of them all: aragorn_elessar. Great, this can only
    inflate his ego further....

    Anyway, on to Snowglare's 'Speak Softly and Carry a Big Stick' Award. This goes to
    the member who speaks rarely, but speaks powerfully. Kinda like some old wise guy or
    something. :scratch: Nominees:
    Freet
    Anyee
    Dutchman
    snowieken
    Gaile
    And our winner is snowieken. As AshHousewares put it, it’s everyone’s fear of God that
    makes us all listen to him.

    I shan’t taint (hehe, that sounds cool) the wording and description of this award, it’s just
    too good. Snowglare's 'Clarity' Award – Vote for the poster who always gets their
    thought across clearly. Or gets them across the most clearly most of the time.
    Nominees:
    DurfBarian
    Technetium
    Pierrot le Fou
    llad12
    And it was clear from the beginning that the winner would be Pierrot le Fou. Now go
    away, I’m tired of seeing you. Geez....

    *commercials*

    Let’s finish this year’s OTcar Award Ceremony with some new awards to this year. To
    start we have Mecal's Bestest Grammor Aword. As the title implies, it’s for the person
    with the worst grammar. If you didn’t know that, campaign for the S-M-R-T Award next
    year. Nominees are:
    DrunkCajun
    matt
    Ash Housewares
    CyberHawk
    raffster
    And, with his first win on the day, CyberHawk!

    TurbulentTurtle's Best Name Award goes to the best name of all our members.
    Nominees are:
    TurbulentTurtle
    rplusplus
    TurdFergusen
    And the winner in an upset victory is TurdFergusen!!! Once again, his award will be
    mailed to him as he can no longer be with us. :’-( *moment of silence*

    This catagory got interesting, as it was a requirement to not be banned. Of course, when
    something is supposed to work, it doesn’t. The nominees for Lord_Shinnok's GIR
    Award, the award going to the member who should be banned but isn’t were:
    Freemason
    GIR
    Lord_Shinnok
    Ash Housewares

    Of course, GIR got banned, throwing everything off. Regardless, the winner is Ash Housewares! Whether this is good or bad for him is to be determined, but he wins
    nonetheless.

    Here is my award, piff's Ranter Award, the award going to the poster with the most
    explosive rants. In a small pool, we had llad12 and Freemason as nominees. And the
    winner, which will hopefully not draw a rant by the loser, is Freemason!

    Normally we’d put award number 40 here, but there was a dilema, so we’ll pretend this is
    where the climax goes as we skip to award number 41, AeroJonesy's Most Abused OTF
    Phrase Award. And our nominees are the timeless lines of:
    â€Boobiesâ€
    “Poing!â€
    “I blame Durfâ€
    And without much question, “I blame Durf†wins! I’m just not totally sure how a phrase
    will accept an award. It’s an intelligent phrase, I’m sure it will figure it out. And if it
    can’t, we’ll just blame Durf.

    Now, for our predicament in the Needs to Get Laid Award. The winner is to have the
    award named after him or her for years to come. The only problem is that we don’t have
    a winner. Our two nominees, Technetium and {KOW}Spazed, both got the same exact
    number of votes and the same exact number of nominations. The award itself goes to
    members, but we need a contest to determine who the award gets named after. If they
    could, would Technetium and {KOW}Spazed talk to AeroJonesy and me to sort out this
    mess?

    Let’s give all our winners and non-winners a huge round of applause! Thank you for
    enduring and enjoying the some-number-th Kinda-Aunnal OTcar Awards! All participants
    are encouraged to go to the afterparty, found somewhere nearby! Congradulations and
    good luck next year to all! Good night!
     
  2. Ash Housewares

    Ash Housewares IncGamers Member

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    take that Raffster!!!

    either format it or bold the winners so it's a little easier to tell
     
  3. SelfBaisResistor

    SelfBaisResistor IncGamers Member

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    Holy Cow!!! I won 2 OTCars, it must be a cold day in hell. Off to the after party to get ripped.
     
  4. superdave

    superdave IncGamers Member

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    good awards ceremony...not chris rock good but still good...applause to the winners/losers...depends on how you look at some of the categories i guess
     
  5. piff

    piff IncGamers Member

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    Really, one and a half...sorry to burst your bubble, but that's only a half award since we're not supposed to get another award. *sneers because he did get another*

    Yeah, I'll bold winners.

    EDIT: AJ, take it from here. Sleepy time for me.
     
  6. Carino

    Carino IncGamers Member

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    I would like to thank God, and my mother who's always been there for me... what? i didn't win anything? says who? Let me have a word with hi*dies*
     
  7. AeroJonesy

    AeroJonesy IncGamers Member

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    *Waits for Isolde for the pretty people dance*

    I'd like to thank piff for helping me out, and by helping me out, I mean doing 60% of the work. Thanks, Justin!
     
  8. TurbulentTurtle

    TurbulentTurtle IncGamers Member

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    I think there's been a mistake, I didn't win any awards. I demand a recount!

    Good job to all those who won :)
     
  9. AeroJonesy

    AeroJonesy IncGamers Member

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  10. {KOW}Spazed

    {KOW}Spazed Banned

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    W00t! I won! Errr wait? I just realized this award won't help me get laid.


    Ummmmmmm

    *sees a potted plant* How you doin' ? :wink2:
     
  11. Jigga-Scrooge

    Jigga-Scrooge IncGamers Member

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    yes!!! i won. **** you all!!!
     
  12. Ash Housewares

    Ash Housewares IncGamers Member

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  13. Isolde212

    Isolde212 Banned

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    WOW! Thanks guys for your votes. Congratulations to all the nominees and winners *pops outta cake* I feel very sexy right now.
     
  14. {KOW}Spazed

    {KOW}Spazed Banned

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    Canadia is very thankful for his award and wishes he could have also won the foul mouth award.
     
  15. rplusplus

    rplusplus IncGamers Member

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    Congratulations to all the winners! Wear the badges of honor with pride!

    I'm off to the afterparty where I hear Isolde will be the feature attraction!

    R++
     
  16. DrunkCajun

    DrunkCajun Banned

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    Holy bloody hell. Here I got all caught up in my greenness and forgot about the OTCars (hrm, looks like my mod status was rolled back around here...)!

    HOLY CRAP! It was a shock enough to be elevated to legendary status running against Durf and R++, but jesus h christ, I won???

    WOW.

    And Best Newcomer?!?! Again in great company---Isolde, SSG, Raffster! Wow!

    I'm flabbergasted, honestly. You can ask Aeval, I yelled out loud when I saw I won those awards. Thank you all very very much!
     
  17. rplusplus

    rplusplus IncGamers Member

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    There is a simple eloquence in your master plan...

    Quit your job
    Lay around the house getting drunk and playing video games
    Shooting your mouth off in the forums

    HOW COULD YOU NOT WIN?

    If you would have been arrested for public indecency with a Llama we would have crowned you KING!

    R++
     
  18. MixedVariety

    MixedVariety Banned

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    There, fixed it for you, sonny. I'm a co-nurturer, after all. Don't want to see you banned since you've temporarily lost your shield of greenness.
     
  19. Lord_Shinnok

    Lord_Shinnok IncGamers Member

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    I did win enough awards, i guess i need to sleep with the extended family as well.

    tough work but someone has to do it, just one question. None of you are from Tennessee are you?
     
  20. Raistlin Majere

    Raistlin Majere IncGamers Member

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    *Runs*


    10 char.
     

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