OT: The chess tournament (you can't enter, but you can win prizes) o

When will you quit D2 and move to D3

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Sint Nikolaas

Diabloii.Net Member
OT: The chess tournament (you can't enter, but you can win prizes)

So here I was minding my own buisness.. CRG comes along and challenges me to a chess game.

Crazy Runner Guy ''seemed to remember'' that I played chess and wanted to play a game. However, since this a forum, we saw no other option then to include all of you in it. How then? Well.. chess has a winner, a way to win and a duration that can vary. You can cast your votes on who will win and if you do you're in the running of winning a stash of shiny new items.

Alright, first of, for the people who don't know what chess is or do know but not the rules, take a look here.

Poll options:
CRG will checkmate Sint.
CRG will win, Sint will give up.
Sint will checkmate CRG.
Sint will win, CRG will give up.
It'll be a draw.

That is the main poll. The checkmate will of course happen if one of us has a brilliant combination and the other doesn't want to give up or if one of us missed a move (more likely). Checkmate will be announced when the move is played, meaning one cannot give up after the move is played. Also if a player announces checkmate within a set amount of moves (like CRG sees a mate that can't be stopped within 5 moves), the opponent cannot give up but has to let himself be ''mated''.
If either one of us is giving up it must be because of a good reason (pending mate in 10 moves, but the opponent sees it first, or because he's three pieces down) and the game will end there without another move played.
The draw will either be because either one will stalemate the other (a checkmate without a check), repeated moves (as in we just play the same moves more then 3 times in a row), ''perpetual check'' (one player can keep giving checks but no checkmate), if the game is blocked up (as in we both can't get trough without serious losses), or any of the other draw variations.

Now.. ofcourse that isn't the only poll. You can cast your vote on who will win (and why), but you can also win other prizes.

2nd poll: How many moves will the game last. Will one trick the other in the opening gaining two pieces quickly and force the other to resign, or will the game be a hard fought endgame where on move 85 one anounces checkmate in four? The average game lies between 20 and 60 moves, I'll give you that. The game will determain the winner.

3rd poll: Tell the best chess-associated joke.
''What's the difference between a chess player and a couple on a date?
The chess player mates before chatting.''
CRG and I will determain the winner.

1st prize will take half of my UGT stash. That is 0,5 * 953 = 476 items. The items are 1.10 vanilla found by an untwinked character ran in a tournament. The prizetaking will be as followed: If you win this prize you will name a letter of the alphabet. Next I will count 476 items FROM THAT LETTER ON which will go in your prize stash. So if you say ''E'' I will start at Earthshaker and put 476 items in alphabetical order in your stash.

2nd prize will take one third of my UGT stash. That is 953 / 3 = 318 items. You get nothing to choose, I will count 318 items on after I counted 476 for first prize.

3rd prize will take one sixth of my UGT stash. That is 953 / 6 = 159 items. You get nothing to choose, you'll get the left overs.

How to get the prizes? Well, there are three categories to score in. The first point is easy money, if you get your main poll good (IE vote for the right guy) you earned your right to move on. Out of the people that rooted for the right guy we will make two lists. One with the list of moves (IE the one that was closest on top, the second closest on second etc.) and one with a list of jokes (the funniest on top etc.). We compare those lists and award points per placing.

4 people enter the tournament. 1 votes for Sint to checkmate CRG and 2-4 vote for a draw. People give a number of moves: 1-15, 2-25, 3-24, 4-35 and they all tell a joke which we rate: 1-1, 2-4, 3-2, 4-3.
The game ends in a draw after 26 moves. Meaning that number 2 was closests, 3 after that and 4 after that. 1 is out of the prizes (as he voted for me).
1 - 0 points.
2 - 1st and 4th
3 - 2nd and 2nd
4 - 3rd and 3rd
Rankings: 3 wins, 2 is second, 4 is third and 1 is last.

In the case that two people tie at first place (or second and third) I'll just add the stashes together and devide it in two.

So.. I think I can convince CRG to give people a couple of days to sign in, tell a joke and take your pick. One joke per person guys.. oh.. and I read up on the internet ones, so.. :rolleyes:

CRG, want white?


Diabloii.Net Member
Sint wins by checkmate. 32 moves. (Sorry CRG, but in all the hours of MSN talks we have had, you've never once mentioned you played chess, give him hell)

"So I was having dinner with Bobby Fischer the other night...Problem was, we had a checkered tablecloth and it took him two hours to pass the salt!"


Diabloii.Net Member
I had no idea either of you played chess, and naturally I have no idea of your respective levels of play.

I voted (guessed, might be more appropriate actually) Sint checkmates CRG


Diabloii.Net Member
I vote Sint with a Checkmate in 33 moves. It will be a back rank mate also, (except now that I've said this CRG will be on the lookout!)

No joke though I'm afraid.

OT: Anyone ever notice how often chess boards are setup wrong on TV and in magazines? Generally with the Queen not on her color on one side? Sometimes the board is turned wrong also. It bugs me.



Diabloii.Net Member
Sint will chackmate CRG in 43 moves. Joke will come is i can make one up. After sint's briljant win at the FFA i give him a "little" (understatement) credit for strategical thinking.


Diabloii.Net Member
althought i voted for sint in the pole iv changed my mind and my atual vote goes to crg who will cheak mate sint in 28 moves, dont know why he just will

and heres the joke

In a park people come across a man playing chess against a dog. They are astonished and say: "What a clever dog!" But the man protests: "No, no, he isn't that clever. I'm leading by three games to one!"


Diabloii.Net Member
8 people voted so far, 0 for CRG, I think he needs some support :laugh:

CRG checkmating Sint, 47 moves, good luck :smiley:


Diabloii.Net Member
Yeah... isn't "mate" a rather unfortunate short for checkmate? Cracked me before I read the joke. "Sint mates with... eh.. in 42".

Anyway. Since everyone backs up Sint here, I'm going with CRG. So CRG will checkmate Sint in 33 moves.

pawnrush kekeke?


Diabloii.Net Member
This is fun! What a neat idea.

Without knowing either player, I can't make an educated guess, so I will have to make an uneducated one. :)

I predict that Sint will win and CRG will resign on move 31.

As far as the chess joke goes...I decided to try to write my own (rather than googling for "chess joke"). I thought a pun would be good...so I decided to peruse a list of chess terminology to try to find the perfect punnable word.

That's when I discovered the term "selfmate." The joke I submit is the joke you just told yourself when you saw that word. :grin:

(This is, after all, a family friendly forum. :innocent: )


Moderator Single Player, D2 Assassin, Barbarian
CRG resigns, move 36. I don't do jokes. Well. I know two. Neither chess related, neither clean.


Diabloii.Net Member
So here I was minding my own buisness.. CRG comes along and challenges me to a chess game.
Is this going to be a real-time game over the net or are you two going to announce moves to each other and keep mental chessboards in their heads?

''What's the difference between a chess player and a couple on a date?
The chess player mates before chatting.''
I want Sint and CRG to mate so we can get a glimpse of some unorthodox hybrid dueling machine.

CRG, want white?
Hehe, someone is brimming with confidence.


Sint Nikolaas

Diabloii.Net Member
The idea was to anounce moves in this thread. I can put up a playing board from time to time to let people visualise what we're takling about.

About the jokes: Stop pulling them from the net :grin:


Diabloii.Net Member
Sint wins in 18 moves.

A group of chess enthusiasts had checked into a hotel, and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse.
"But why?" they asked, as they moved off.
"Because," he said, "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."

A couple of questions for Sint:

1. Why is that dude in your 'tar sticking his hands down the others' pants?

2. Why do you have a "+" behind your name?