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OT: An unhealthy relationship with this game

Discussion in 'Single Player Forum' started by NamelessPenguin, Dec 10, 2017.

  1. NamelessPenguin

    NamelessPenguin Diabloii.Net Member

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    WARNING - WALL OF TEXT INCOMING

    I started playing this game back when it came out, I can't remember how much I played, but I remember it was a lot. Probably not at the "level" I played later in my 20's, or today, but a decent amount. I was 14 at that time.

    Fast forward to age 20'ish, I started playing again. And now I really played, full retard. Before I started, I enjoyed being around people, hanging out with friends, party, work out. I had a good social life. But that all changed, as time went on. I first started on B-net, but I got so annoyed with the timer thing when doing Meph runs, that I looked into single player. Since I didn't know that much about SP, I needed some help. And viola, I became a member of the SPF. I decided not to continue with my old account due to personal reasons.

    Now things really took off. I was hooked, finding like minded people was a real eye opener for the depth of this game. All the cool builds, all the difficult items to obtain...and the runes! I was obsessed with completing the grail, I set a goal and simply couldn't move on, until I had completed that goal. I once did 25K Pindle runs, basically just that, before I could venture on to the next mission. Well, I also took a Trapsin to lvl 86, with help from Pindle, mind you. And after that, I set a new goal of 10K AT runs, which I also completed, before I could move.

    I started to retreat from my social life. When friends came to visit, I was more annoyed than happy. I stopped working out. All I did was minding my work, and Diablo. My mind was on D.

    This madness had to stop. I killed my D2 business with deleting all my save files, and my Atma stash. Cold turkey. I started working out again and seeing friends. All was good,

    Fast forward once more, age 30'ish, I somehow thought I've gotten old enough to control this game, not letting it take over my life. I was just gonna play casually, try out new things. First char I create is a Windy, this is fun, I think. He could use a Shako, though, so I create a BlizzSorc. Big mistake. Before I knew it, I was back to farming Pindle and AT (though able to mix things up this time)

    Before this re-start, I had learned some things about my self. I was diagnosed with Bipolar disorder after a manic episode, and before I met my wife, I was drinking more than what is considered healthy. This explains my obsessive behavior above, it's coded in my genes.

    And now I seem to be slowly falling into old habits. I love working out, I've even become pretty good at powerlifting, developed an interest for movies, and I'm trying to take up coding and electronics (I'm an engineer by trade). All these hobbies are starting to fade away, and this is depressing the hell outta me, that I can't find a healthy balance between RL and D2 goals.

    I don't know what I want with this thread, probably nothing, I just wanted to share my story, and maybe hear if there are others alike out there. Hearing your D2 story would also be very interesting, runs, numbers. It doesn't have to contain bipolar disorder or alcohol abuse. An obsessive, unhealthy relationship would do just fine.
     
    Last edited: Dec 10, 2017
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  2. Kitteh

    Kitteh Diabloii.Net Site Pal

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    I will maybe post more details later, when I have no exams, but... My story goes kind of the opposite way. Diablo 2 got me through my teenage years (which very heavily hindered by mental health), it was my coping mechanism, I would sit with my dog and play Diablo whilst watching Dad's Army - that got me through a lot of bad nights. However, the SPF itself also became a large part of my coping mechanism, which is why I value this community so much. So, the opposite of your experience I guess?
     
  3. okey

    okey Diabloii.Net Member

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    I'm in my 30s as well, and I'll be frank, you are what you make yourself out to be. That is if you are a perfectionist in what you do, be prepared to waste unspeakable amount of hours on rather redundant things. Likewise gaming, alcohol, social/work-life, and just about every other thing is about how you will it. I know it may sound like a smart-alec response but, in truth, in the end it's totally up to you how you facilitate your relationship with said thing at hand.

    Gaming to me is a give and take relationship, it has it's ups and has its downs. For me it's like smoking, in this late stage of the game, it's undeniable that I am addicted and in other people's eyes need help, but to be honest I control it in a way that it doesn't impede how I function as a human.. that is to say I schedule and learn how to splurge on my gaming hours.. but YMMV.

    I hope this may help, if not well there's your 2c. Cheers, and regards.
     
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  4. NamelessPenguin

    NamelessPenguin Diabloii.Net Member

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    @Kitteh Yeah, that could sound like the opposite version of my story. One could speculate that I was in my teens coping with something I had back then, but I doubt that to be true. My mental issues first came in my late 20's. I'd be very interested in hearing your story. No pressure, though :) I've also read your other posts about mental health, very interesting, and glad to hear you found ways to cope with it.

    @okey I wouldn't say I'm a perfectionist, rather an obssionist. I've never had a healthy hobby in my entire life, only obsessions that take over and start controlling me, with Diablo being the worst one.

    I'm having a hard time understanding your post. Does abuse of alcohol relate to perfectionism? And your social life too? I agree that a perfectionist spends a lot of time on whatever he embarks upon, just can't link the two mentioned things together.

    Scheduling your playtime sounds like a really good idea! How much do you play per week? How long do the sessions typically last? Do you constantly think about the game when not playing?
     
  5. Kitteh

    Kitteh Diabloii.Net Site Pal

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    I agree that scheduling is very important. My rule is, I work my ass off until 9pm every day, then until midnight I play video games or read, with a minimum of 30 minutes reading directly before I go to sleep. At the moment I am studying for exams so it acts as a nice break, my current routine is; study 9am until 8pm with a lunch and dinner break. In between that I do 1:30 studying, 15 minutes D2, 1:30 studying, 15 minutes D2 etc etc. Then after 8pm I do chores and read before bed.
     
  6. okey

    okey Diabloii.Net Member

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    @NamelessPenguin well the difference between the two is a rather slim and is quite hard to differentiate, ie one can easily lead to the other. Nope alcohol does not relate to perfectionism, however I threw in perfectionism in relationship to your addiction (or perhaps reliance) related to gaming. I am not saying social life is bad, it's good; I meant that too much of one thing is bad and how it relates to social life is that regardless everyone needs their own alone time. But again, the devil between the line, or thing I am trying to emphasize is moderation.

    As for how much I play per week, it varies, I log my plays via the my personal challenge. I try to block 3-4 hour schedules or do parts of acts when I just want to kill time. As for constantly think about the game when not playing?-When I am bored enough I tend to theorycraft strange (see: stupid) ideas in the games I play more to make them more interesting but more often than not, I'd probably spend my time reading or thinking about some form of literature I've been reading.

    I apologize if my post was haphazard/mishmash of unrelated things as I was just typing what I related at the time of my reading your post.
     
    Last edited: Dec 12, 2017
  7. Grape

    Grape Diabloii.Net Member

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    Hope you can cope with this and find a solution to truly enjoy this game rather than feeling bad about playing.

    Looking back, I could say there might've been few phases when my weekly gaming time have been a bit more than I should play but most of the time I haven't have that feeling, D2 is the only game I've ever spent any considerable time with, after all.

    What I know keeps me away from diablo, are other hobbies that I find more important (also more beneficial to me). Starting a new hobby and actually sticking to it can take quite an effort, but might be worth a try? Start with small but steady steps.

    I enjoy jogging and reading myself a lot and do some other things as well but not so regularly. Once these are taken care of, my time with D2 feels happy relaxing time instead of unhealthy addiction :)

    Learning new languages, coding, painting, playing an instrument, cooking, photographing. Endless choices!
     
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  8. MizzouFTW

    MizzouFTW Diabloii.Net Member

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    I understand how you feel. I was obsessed with this game when it first released. That was primarily due to a bad home life so it was easy to invest myself into D2 as an escape.

    Now I play about 3 to 6 months each year but only in downtijme when I have nothing else productive to do. I'm also learning programming on the side. I'm working on quality of life tools (that don't impact my characters). Basically I'm using D2 to teach me a new skill.

    I will also say that D2 taught me quite a bit about interacting with a wide range of different people. It is what you make it. Some people are addicted to gambling. It's just an escape.
     
  9. darkstarhub

    darkstarhub Diabloii.Net Member

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    I think it often comes down to being able to balance everything you have to do on a daily, weekly, and monthly basis. Now that I’m older the social part is more or less out the window. I will be 40 in March and many of my friends have kids and all that so it means I find my own things to spend time on because I didn’t have any kids. Plus I think people just grow apart over time due to many reasons. People I was close to have moved away and a few have even died. A couple weeks ago I happened to run into a friend I haven't seen in at least 15 years. This was the friend that happened to be playing Diablo 1 one night when we were partying(many moons ago), and my first time ever seeing the game.

    I am married with a stepson and I can definitely see his gaming is a problem because of how consuming it is to him. When I was his age I was into some really crazy stuff so in some ways it keeps him out of trouble. At least the kind of trouble I got into. He is kinda shy and the interaction of online communication suits him better. My main issue is the lack of physical inactivity that comes with sitting at a computer. I tried sports but he wasnt having any of it. He is very smart so I figure everything will work itself out.

    As for myself, working 40 hours plus a week takes up time and sleeping of course. I try to do things and hang out with my wife because it’s not fair to just push her to the side so I can play Diablo. Every evening I take my dog for a 2-3 mile walk. She does not let me forget to take her as I think it’s her favorite part of the day. During the summer there is plenty to do around my house so that takes up time. There are times where I put things off to play Diablo for sure and I know I stay up way too late some nights.

    I played vanilla D3 way too much as well. The AH was a huge part of that, but after RoS I pretty much lost everything I had for the game. It is good, for what it is, but D3 is simply not the game I wanted it to be. I think by having other things that I have to do, the time I spend playing D2 feels more rewarding. If I sat here from the time I got home from work till I went to bed it would not have the same feeling, and that viewpoint has taken me a long time to figure out.
     
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  10. NamelessPenguin

    NamelessPenguin Diabloii.Net Member

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    Reading all of your replies on here makes me think of D2 in a whole other way. It's somehow nice to see that not all on the board play 4 hours a day, and people actually do other stuff, too.

    I am going to learn coding and more electronics, and not only think of Diablo in my spare time. @okey and @Kitteh mention scheduling, which I find very interesting and useful. I thought when you ran for 99, you'd spent all of your free time on D2. I have to get it in my fat head, that this is not a sprint, but a marathon.

    @Grape Doing other things first (or also prioritizing them) in order to make D2 feel less unhealthy is a though I welcome. I am going to spend a bit of time coding (or try at least) each day, and electronics. I also workout, but have changed my interest from powerlifting to bodybuilding and cardio, which is a bit less mentally draining for me. Hopefully mentally relaxing :)

    @MizzouFTW How much time do you spend on programming? I am interested in learning the basics, not becoming a high level programmer.

    @darkstarhub I can definitely relate to the friends growing apart. I am very near 32, and a lot of my friends I used to drink and party with are gone. Funny enough, the only friends that really stick are the ones with kids (I have a kid too), one of them a D2 gamer, and the other just an everything gamer.
    I am a step son and been doing all the wrong (gaming, drugs, drinking..) stuff a kid can do. Better keep an eye on that one :D

    Thanks all of you for your thoughtful replies. I was not expecting finding help on here, but I found all the things you guys said very useful.
     
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  11. Kitteh

    Kitteh Diabloii.Net Site Pal

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    Are you serious? I think that Fordyl got Patriarch in 2012 :rolleyes:
     
  12. MizzouFTW

    MizzouFTW Diabloii.Net Member

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    I'll explain my process really quick. I get ideas for apps/programs/utilities that make my life easier while I'm at work, in the shower, driving or playing D2. I jot down the concept of what I want to build on paper and outline exactly what I want it to do. Then I outline how I want it to look. I keep it as simple as possible.

    Then I spent a few hours Googling different languages to see which one would be easiest to work with for what I want to do. I went with Python. I spend about an hour a day just reading about Python. I look at code, read terms and their definitions and keep toying with the idea I want to work on. From there, I spent a month learning the basics of Python from many different free online resources. I spent about an hour a day, sometimes two or three learning the basics.

    Now learning programming is a hobby I thoroughly enjoy so I spend a few hours a day learning. By learning I mean doing. I work on projects, research for projects, look at code written by others, etc. I've tried to learn programming a hundred times and I've failed 99 times. The best piece of advice I got this time around was this: "motivation is the key to learning." I looked at my life and did a thorough analysis of where I am and where I want to be in five years. I don't want to report to a supervisor everyday. I don't want to make the same amount of money every hour I am at work. I'm smart and I dedicate myself to my work. I should earn more than the next officer because I come to work everyday, stay late, work overtime and truly feel that I do this job better than the majority of the others in my department. Right now what I take home is tied to the city budget and crime stats. My retirement is tied to the city not going bankrupt. I'm entirely dependent on someone else for my pay and that scares me.

    I've also done a thorough analysis of population growth, job growth and trends in robotics. It scares me even more to think that every year we get closer to complete automation. Eventually robotics, algorithms and programs are going to reduce the human personnel needed for my career. That scares me as well.

    I wrote that wall of text just to give an example of what my motivation is and how I found it. In 5 years I don't want to be a cop. I want to be programming software, building websites, etc. I want to make sure my retirement and earnings are entirely dependent on my work ethic and ability to adapt. I ended up coupling my growing fear of the future with my love for D2 and used that as a basis to learn programming.

    It's also something I strongly advocate all children need to learn. I have a little cousin and I'm still trying to talk his mom and dad into learning some programming and making sure they instill that into my cousin. Programming is the future. We're going to get all of the good and the bad that comes with that. I don't want to be a person that didn't evolve with the times. That's my overall motivation. Find yours and programming won't be so daunting to learn. It will be more like a technique for survival.

    Please note that I'm not a crazy doomsday prepper or anything. I just looked at the facts and drew my conclusions that the need for humans in the workforce is decreasing in areas where it matters.
     
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  13. pharphis

    pharphis Diabloii.Net Site Pal

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    Coding is one of those things that teaches people to think more logically and to break things down if necessary, and also teaches people to be modular to be more efficient. Just a tiny bit of knowledge goes a long way even if you never program on your own outside of a class or a hobby for a few years.
     
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  14. NamelessPenguin

    NamelessPenguin Diabloii.Net Member

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    @MizzouFTW Nice! You have some very good motivation there. My ambitions are on the lesser side :p Though I would really like to get into robotics and electronics wiring. Best of luck on your project.

    @pharphis That's also one of my motivations to learn coding, thinking more logically. I doubt I'll code my own program even though I have an idea for one. Just taking it slow for now.
     
  15. pharphis

    pharphis Diabloii.Net Site Pal

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    I myself haven't done any actual projects except for one of my courses this semester. Just little things one at a time make for good practice and then build up to something relatively simple but bigger overall. I might make a grade calculator this summer based on someone's input for however many weighted objects they want to insert. Might include a GUI as well. Might not bother and just do more math problems instead lol. I think I'm at 53 done, now, but I've learned some new tools and algorithms and now I know basic java which is easier than C so I am able to do more complicated things with less code...
    https://projecteuler.net/archives
     
  16. NamelessPenguin

    NamelessPenguin Diabloii.Net Member

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    Sounds cool! But a bit above my skills. I have downloaded a lot of Python tutorials and videos, since that's what people seem to recommend these days. Should be ok to learn, with not that much code, too.
     
  17. pharphis

    pharphis Diabloii.Net Site Pal

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    ya python is very readable... so I should get around to learning it
     
  18. Gynli

    Gynli Diabloii.Net Member

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    +1 for python.

    I guess i'll mention Javascript as well for one of the languages; a different kind of language from Java/C/Python, but definitely more 'visible' - in a sense that you can visually see what you've coded much easier than the others. I've only recently picked up on it; but I can see why some people swear by it. If you are interested in any GUI, I'd suggest Javascript - it's much easier to learn/use compared to the Java's GUI toolkits like AWT or Swing.

    @pharphis if you know C/Java you almost already know Python! =P

    EDIT : deleted half the txt. Was cringy. Lol
     
    Last edited: Dec 16, 2017

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