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No sex tonight

Discussion in 'Off-Topic' started by onionfarm, Mar 22, 2005.

  1. onionfarm

    onionfarm IncGamers Member

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    No sex tonight

    Source: http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sfo/60286784.html
    I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so
    much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have
    never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

    FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into
    bed.

    Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel
    like it, I just want you to hold me."

    I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

    So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...
    "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me
    to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look
    by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in
    the bedroom?"

    Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

    The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with
    her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big
    unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on
    several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to
    take so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to
    compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We
    went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond
    earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was
    one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because
    she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play
    tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey."
    She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.
    Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all
    dear, let's go to the cashier."

    I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel
    like it."

    Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled
    WHAT?"

    I then said "honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're
    just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy
    your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she
    was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and
    not for the things I buy you?"

    Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.





    I thought this whole thing was pretty funny and decided to share it.
     
  2. I kill you tomorrow

    I kill you tomorrow IncGamers Member

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    Did you really do that? That's mean, but hilarious at the same time.

    I don't think I would have the nerve to do that. Then again the girl in question doesn't seem very nice.

    I don't think I would date a girl that is like the one you've described.

    anyways...
     
  3. ~Kazama Fury~

    ~Kazama Fury~ IncGamers Member

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    haha nice.

    right when we think we have the upper hand... boom.
    we are so powerless. :(
     
  4. ZeppelinAngel

    ZeppelinAngel IncGamers Member

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    i'm glad i don't like to shop
     
  5. DrunkPotHead

    DrunkPotHead IncGamers Member

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    Let's just have sex.
     
  6. Eff

    Eff Banned

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    greaserlee.com/ownedblackchild.jpg

    i like yo style :cool:
     
  7. Ranger14

    Ranger14 IncGamers Member

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    Maybe I am getting a little old and have too much respect for women, but I don't find anything humorous about it. I have had the same thing happen to me before in different relationships over the years and there is nothing wrong with what she did. The only way there is something wrong with it, is if you are looking at sex as just a physical release. If someone I care for just wants to be held, then I am going to hold her because I care about her. Loving someone else is putting their needs ahead of yours, and I am not talking but physical needs, but emotional needs.

    I do see a lot wrong with what the guy did. There's a big difference between someone not being in the mood to have sex and someone premeditating the whole scenario that was played out. I would have dumped the guy without hesitation after that if I were her.

    Oh..and if the guy thinks she is just in it for the material things, than the two really don't have much of a relationship anyway if they are both in it for sex and material things.
     
  8. Freet

    Freet IncGamers Member

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    *points at the linky at the top of the post*

    He didn't do it, he just shared something he felt was amusing with us.

    And yes, I thought it was amusing too.

    And if she isn't looking over your shoulder anymore, we won't tell if you laugh.
     
  9. Ranger14

    Ranger14 IncGamers Member

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    I realized that right away and edited my post. My bad. :p
     
  10. piff

    piff IncGamers Member

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    Wow. Thank you so much for the laugh. What a way to cap off a bad day.
     
  11. DrunkPotHead

    DrunkPotHead IncGamers Member

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    Holding someone is an emotional need and having sex isn't? That phrase should apply to the woman the same as the man.
     
  12. jimmyboy

    jimmyboy IncGamers Member

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    I hope you should know that your girlfriend just booked the two of you for Dr. Phil.
     
  13. Akira

    Akira Member

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    Haha, that was hilarious. Honestly I've never heard such a BS reason for not having sex. Or I should say, starting then abruptly stopping, that's mean not to mention fickle. If you don't want to do it, don't start.
     
  14. rplusplus

    rplusplus IncGamers Member

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    Beautiful story. Brought a tear to my eye.

    R++
     
  15. Jigga-Scrooge

    Jigga-Scrooge IncGamers Member

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    thats great stuff.
     
  16. Riegn

    Riegn IncGamers Member

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    very funny stuff hehe
     
  17. Mecal

    Mecal IncGamers Member

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    hah nice story -
    although, had it been yours, it would have been better.
     
  18. TurdFergusen

    TurdFergusen Banned

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    Dude you totally should have boinked her.
     
  19. Raistlin Majere

    Raistlin Majere IncGamers Member

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    Now that was hilarious.
     
  20. Ranger14

    Ranger14 IncGamers Member

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    There are few men who attach sex to their "emotional needs". Women and men view that differently. So you are saying a woman should have sex with a man even if they don't want to? Just because things get hot and heavy doesn't mean it should always lead to sex. Sheesh. :roll:

    Seems to be a lot of stereotypical male testosterone going on in this thread.
     

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