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No Name, We Need Your Help

Discussion in 'Off-Topic' started by jmervyn, Apr 15, 2015.

  1. jmervyn

    jmervyn IncGamers Member

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    No Name,

    Today is a very important day for your federal government. We need your help to keep it going, and we need you to send a sizeable portion of your annual income to make sure it does. Just think of all the things that your federal government does for you. Things like:

    • Tax you
    • Spend your money on things people wouldn’t voluntarily buy themselves
    • Borrow money
    • Fail to secure the border
    And so much more!

    Last year, with your help, we raised over $3 trillion in taxes. To exceed that limit, we need your help.

    We want you to be able to look into your children’s eyes and know that their future in America is going to one burdened with a crushing and unpayable debt. No Name, in order to make those dreams a reality, we are asking for your immediate support. To be honest, we’re not asking for it. We are demanding it.

    Won’t you stand with us on this federal income tax day and make your contribution of 10%, 25%, 35%, or even 39.6% of everything you make?

    No Name, we’re not going to run your typical kind of federal government, full of smokescreens and empty promises. We promise to regulate businesses into submission, rewrite tax provisions so that they bear no relationship to what Congress wrote, and manage the economy with a group of elites headed by a political appointee. These are not empty promises, No Name. You can take them to the central bank, where we will redeem them in pieces of paper that we promise will lose more value every year.

    Remember: the other countries around the world are watching our intake like hawks. The amount we raise over the next 24 hours will be scrutinized and viewed as a symbol of the strength of our country. That is why we urgently need your support right now.

    Thank you for your devotion and commitment to taking back our country. And remember: if you don’t make your voluntary contribution, men with guns will be at your door, to take you to a room with locked doors and no windows, to spend a few years with a violent rapist.

    So won’t you make your contribution today?



    *************************************
    Reprinted in full from Patterico - think I ought to have made it a poll?
     
  2. kestegs

    kestegs D3 Monk Moderator

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    Can I just call in sick today?
     
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  3. LozHinge the Unhinged

    LozHinge the Unhinged IncGamers Member

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    I demand an immediate reduction in Income Tax rates to a flat 1% of taxable income, with a tax-free allowance of the first every single cent I receive being exempt.

    With this extra money that my household now retains, I intend to run my own hospitals, police force, armed forces and social security for those less fortunate than me (assuming any survive the first cold snap of winter).

    Gubmint? I don't need it, I'm me own damned Gubmint!
     
  4. jmervyn

    jmervyn IncGamers Member

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    Why did I KNOW you would say that?

    Oh, right, forgot about your being a collectivist stooge. My bad.



    [​IMG]



    The good news is that I may get nearly $2000 of my own money back from the Feds and almost $800 back from New York State... aren't they generous?

    Governor Cuomo didn't send me a pittance of my own money as an obvious bribe during his election bid, as he had with others of my socio-economic class. Perhaps my membership in the Independence Party isn't as great a cover as I thought.

    So, I'll leave my brain in the dumpster and agree with Loz - YAY overweening fascism!
     
    Last edited: Apr 15, 2015
  5. LozHinge the Unhinged

    LozHinge the Unhinged IncGamers Member

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    Make sure you spend that cash gift from da gubmint on something worthwhile, Merv.

    Ammo and razor wire ... can never have too much of that good stuff!
     
  6. jmervyn

    jmervyn IncGamers Member

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    It'll be a wheel alignment due to the potholes, hopefully buying a generator for when the power goes out, and any remainder on debt payments.

    Say, weren't you telling me how wonderful it is to have the Prince of Darkness looking out for the little Merv? You'd think he could fix the feckin' potholes...

    No, you're completely correct - it's far more important to put my money into job creation for NY. $53 million in advertising for 76 jobs? Well spent!
     
  7. LozHinge the Unhinged

    LozHinge the Unhinged IncGamers Member

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    To hell with NYC ... fill my potholes, Merv. My Ducati is unsettled by potholes!
     
  8. jmervyn

    jmervyn IncGamers Member

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    Wait, but you were just defining how valid your "you didn't build that" theological stance was! Since Gov't is the things we do together, then it must mean that NHS (and now Obamacare) is le meilleur des mondes possibles - after all, the West is the peak of all regulatory mechanisms espoused by you collectivists, as well as the best medical science. We got that way due to Gov't taxation, regulation and oversight, after all.

    Oh, and since you mentioned the Military - that of your resident nation must be better than any of the neighbors except those even more integrated in the EU, amirite?



    P.S. you're younger than I thought;
    [​IMG]
     
    Last edited: Apr 16, 2015
  9. krischan

    krischan Europe Trade Moderator

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    It's only out of greed, envy or low motives in general if the others do it, right?

    A long time ago, I decided to apply pragmatism (rather than e.g. socialism) to issues like these and ignore desires to deny things like social welfare to those who don't deserve it in my eyes. I simply don't care that a certain amount of people who receive welfare are lazy mooches or about what they spend the money on. I'm sure it's cheaper not to become emotional about that and let them get their meager amounts of undeserved money. That would be cheaper (in a broader sanse) than caring about them in a different way... but surprise me with a plan which costs less in terms of money, time and resources.

    If social welfare, public health care etc. feels like promoting a "give me money or I will smash, burn or kill something" attitude of a certain amout of recipients, so what? I think you are putting too much emotions into this and I doubt that the poor as a group will ever achieve anything significant, in particular not in the US.
     
  10. jmervyn

    jmervyn IncGamers Member

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    Spoken like someone who has never had anything smashed, burned, or killed...

    As for the powerless nature of the poor, they elected the Preezy of the United Steezies... so not so much. America has long passed the tipping point where the power of the working class outweighs the power of the dependent, mooching class. Not necessarily numerically - I'm talking about political <power>.
     
  11. LozHinge the Unhinged

    LozHinge the Unhinged IncGamers Member

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    Wait, I'm confused.

    Is this the forum where I slag off greedy right wing bastards? Or lazy left wing bastards? I've had a bit of a politics holiday recently and I've forgotten which folks get which side of my sharply forked tongue.

    kris, enough with the commie agenda wrapped in lucid pragmatism please. You're the worst.

    :nod:

    Bah - left, right, centrist, it's all about keep stuff where it belongs.
    Money with money, work ethic with work ethic, social underclass with social underclass.

    Anyhoo ... the sooner we stomp those social enterprise types, the sooner we can get back to nothing ever changing - ever.
     
  12. Technomancer

    Technomancer IncGamers Member

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    Don't need no taxes! All ya needs is someone sittin' on the porch with a shotgun all day! Good enough for mai Pappy growin' up, good enough for the 21st century!!

    [​IMG]
     
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  13. LozHinge the Unhinged

    LozHinge the Unhinged IncGamers Member

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    Mustard guns. In case we forget that we like guns.

    :)

    How is your pappy, Techno?

    And your sister? I mean, your mother. I mean, your sister. I mean, your mother. I mean your, ah, Aunt?
     
  14. krischan

    krischan Europe Trade Moderator

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    Even though a bratwurst hot dog probably tastes great, the classical way to serve it is like this:

    [​IMG]

    Mustard is the classical seasoning for bratwurst, so the gun is OK. Barbecue sauce (the US have delicious ones) or even ketchup are fine as well.

    Well, jmervyn didn't disagree, so you must be wrong... or I was better than I used to be.
     
  15. LozHinge the Unhinged

    LozHinge the Unhinged IncGamers Member

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    It's these kind of paradoxes that destroy universes, ya know?!
     
  16. krischan

    krischan Europe Trade Moderator

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    Well, I phrased things in a way that jmervyn has a bit of a hard time to disagree. It's a matter at which I believe him to be a bit torn between pragmatism and what feels right. I could as well have elaborated about the state being responsible for society in my opinion etc. etc. and left out the pragmatic part. That would have been tactically unwise, however.
     
  17. jmervyn

    jmervyn IncGamers Member

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    Er, Loz, Ixnay on the Oosier-nay...

    Great pic, though. I gotta get me one of those... someday.
    *****************
    Actually, Kris, I was playing Skyrim. Nothing conflicted about my answer to you, just not worth the re-tread with either of you.

    Belief that government causes society is nothing short of psychotic, IMO. It's like belief that a village hetman creates a village. Or that people "didn't build that" without government. Or that it takes a village to raise a child, for that matter.

    P.S. thanks for not mentioning Mayonnaise. Tha's disgustin'
     
  18. LozHinge the Unhinged

    LozHinge the Unhinged IncGamers Member

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    A bacon-lettuce-tomato sandwich without mayo? Wha'fa?

    That. Explains. A. Lot.
     
  19. kestegs

    kestegs D3 Monk Moderator

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    I was going to make a real comment on this thread, but agreeing with merv doesn't agree with me.
     
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  20. Technomancer

    Technomancer IncGamers Member

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    Well, Pappy's still a paranoid wreck. As fer evryun else, it's a bit... complicated...

     
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