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NAture Versus Nurture: The Paladin Druid War

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by Verashiden, Sep 14, 2006.

  1. Verashiden

    Verashiden IncGamers Member

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    NAture Versus Nurture: The Paladin Druid War

    [Author's Note]Yo. So I did a little story for the posters in the Druid Forum as a way of Celebrating my 100th post. Afer the comments received from it it was suggested that I continue it and post it here. So I shall. All criticism is appreciated and this will probably be updated in the future. It isn't complete yet but, meh. Each post will contain a section, stopping at a place I deemed appropriate. There will be a double post right off. I apologize in advance. However, I'm doing it that way as to not overload the readers and increase the emotional impact of the peace, I hope that's all right. Thank you and now on with the story![/note]

    Leikai looks over the cliff at the ensuing chaos below. Druids everywhere are fighting those who have come to purge them. How did things end up this way? Perhaps it’s because their closeness to nature scares them. Or, perhaps their shape shifting skills seem a tad too close to the power of illusion used by the demons. Still, whatever the reason may be the Paladins have come and given the order of “Forsake your ways or die.â€. Unnecessary to say, but the Druids have chosen to go down fighting.

    Leikai looks at his Master quietly. They’re waiting for the sides to develop a bit more before they enter the battle themselves. Leikai slightly disagrees with this. It doesn’t seem that there’s any clear cut order developing. The battle started as chaos and will problem remain chaotic until the very end. If anything the waiting just seems to bring even more chaos to the fight. Leikai lets out a small whine. It’s interesting how Wolves tend to keep their wolf characteristics even when they’re not shifted.

    “Leikai.â€

    Leikai looks over at his Master again, already knowing what’s coming. He begins concentrating on his primal instincts even before his Master utters his next words.

    “It’s time, let’s go!â€

    Leikai immediately leaps from the cliff, falling down to the battle below. As he falls he can feel the changes in his body already taking place. Fur begins to erupt from his body and his jaws begin to feel tight. He can feel his muscles condensing and changing to become more of a springboard. His skin begins to stretch as his muzzle begins to form and push its way out from his face. At this point a light encompasses Lei, saving everyone a view of the more radical changes to his body. When the light fades Leikai is no longer there. What’s in his place is a Werewolf, ready for battle.

    Falling into the Paladin ranks Leikai makes short work of the nearest one. Using his claw in a lazy slash he catches the unprepared Paladin in the throat, ripping into his Jugular Vein. The Paladin’s eyes grow wide as he tries to gasps for breath but is unable to. Feeble hands reach up and grabs at the torn throat, attempting to clear his throat of the blood. The clawing hands quickly slow down as the brain starts to die from the lack of oxygen. The Paladin falls to his knees, his eyes rolling back into their sockets. Then he falls to the ground, motionless.

    Leikai turns and looks at the remaining Paladins around him. All of their shields are a glow with what they call heavenly energy. Leikai scoffs at them, which comes out more of a growl. These fanatics can’t leave well enough alone. It’s a shame. They don’t know what they’re messing with right now. This battle isn’t going to go as easily as they had originally thought. He focuses on the Paladins who don’t have any weapons. Shield Dancers. That’s what the Druids call them. Of course, people might better know them as Smiters. Leikai’s been warned time and time again about these guys. Guess now it’s time to see if they’re all they’re cracked up to be.

    The first paladin to get brave rushes Lei and thrusts his shield out in front of him. Lei braces himself and prepares to catch the annoying “holy†shield and deprive the Dancer of his only weapon. Despite making his intentions obvious, the Dancer continues rushing him. Lei frowns to himself. Is this guy ignorant? Perhaps Leikai didn’t make himself clear enough. Oh well, this fool will soon realize. Leikai reaches out and grabs the shield with both hands. Suddenly a searing pain flairs through them and Leikai rips his hands away. The Dancer senses the opening and quickly rams his shield into Leikai’s chest. Another searing pain flairs through Leikai as he is knocked backwards. He barely manages to dig his claws into the ground and keep himself from toppling end over end. Leikai grinds to a halt and looks at his now charred hands. So this is what their Holy Shield skill does. Well that changes everything around slightly. Leikai looks up and sees the emboldened Dancer rushing him again. Leikai can’t help but smirk. That’s the last mistake he’ll make.

    The Dancer comes in the exact same way he did before, head on. Leikai widens his stance, bringing himself slightly lower and building the energy in his legs. He just has to wait for it. The Dancer is quickly upon Leikai, swinging his shield in a downward fashion. Leikai’s ears twitch as he takes his signal to react. Pushing off on his left foot Leikai explodes to his right, barely dodging the attack. Once his feet hit the ground again he pushes off his right and attacks the now open Dancer. The Dancer begins to turn but it’s already too late. Venom is already dripping from Leikai’s mouth as he bits the Dancer on his arm.

    The effect is near instantaneous as the Dancer begins to scream. Still clinging on to his arm Leikai spins around and throws him into the ranks of the other Paladins. The other Paladins catch, then gasp when they realize their mistake. The Dancer is already a sickly green. The poison eats away at his skin, causing blotches and even some parts of it to fall off his body. He tries to scream but his throat is already closed and his swollen tongue, now looking the same color as a bruise, flaps uselessly against his lips. His eyes are bloodshot and seem to have had their vessels burst from the inside. The iris and cornea are now a ghostly white as his unseeing eyes blindly look upon his allies. Withering away before their very eyes, the remaining Paladins drop their companion. However, they’re already infected. Soon the screams of everyone in that group fills the air as they succumb to the same venom that claimed their friend.

    Leikai turns from the sight and sees yet another Paladin. This one has a Phase Blade. Leikai can tell because the blade looks to be as though it’s not really their. The ghostly outline of it seems to blend in with the surrounding, giving it the look of blood on the ground behind it. What are extremely visible are the runes inside of it. Leikai cants his head to the side. He knows how strong runes are. However, in this weapon there are only two runes he recognizes. Lo, the rune of true strikes, making each attack deadlier than ever before. The other one is Mal, the rune that prevents the healing from wounds. Lei growls to himself. What an odd combination of runes to have in a weapon. What is he doing?

    Without warning the Paladin charges Leikai. Leikai gets into a fighting stance and braces himself. Within seconds the Paladin is upon him and slashes at Leikai with the odd sword. Lei simply blocks the attack using his claws. However, something happens. Leikai immediately recognizes the signs of poison spreading throughout his body. What’s worse though is that the attack almost shatters his claws and sends him flying back. Leikai can’t find his footing and hits the ground hard. He rolls several meters away before sliding to a stop. Lei looks up at the Paladin, dazed by the attack. How could a weapon be that strong? The Paladin charges Lei again, looking for the kill.

    Leikai watches the Paladin rush towards him. This is the end. He’s going to die here. How could he let everyone down? Leikai fights the urge to close his eyes. No, he’ll watch the end coming. At least he’ll have some honor left if he does that. Suddenly a flash of fur crosses Leikai’s vision. The Paladin turns and gets his shield up just in time to block the attack. The impact still sends him skidding away though and buys Lei enough time to get to his feet. The other Wolf turns, showing Leikai that his Master saved him.

    “Quit being so careless.â€

    Leikai is about to respond when a flash of light interrupts him. That can only mean one thing. Reacting on instinct Leikai shifts back into his human form and jumps up. He places a foot on his Master’s chest and uses all the strength he can muster to push him back. Surprised by the move his Master falls backwards and Lei tucks into a neat back flip just as the lightning strike rips apart the ground they were just at. In the air Leikai concentrates, taking what he learned from the Elementalists in the village and calling upon the wind for aid. Within moments Leikai can feel a breeze envelope him. He lands on his feet just as the wind soon becomes a cyclone, surrounding him in its protective winds. The armor complete, Leikai shifts back into his Wolf form, looking up a nearby hill at the new attack. The Paladin doesn’t move, but challenges Leikai to come to him. The electricity cackles around his feet from the use of his attack. Lei growls low in his throat, then in his Were Wolf voice bellows.

    “Let’s go!â€
     
  2. Verashiden

    Verashiden IncGamers Member

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    The Paladin doesn’t flinch. Instead, he points his scepter, still cackling with energy, at him. A cloud Splitter. Leikai has been warned against these guys. These are the few Paladins that can transcend into an elemental realm that most other Elementalists can only dream of getting to. They call this attack “Fist of the Heavensâ€. With that name most people would believe it to be a holy attack, banishing the damned back to the netherworld. However, the attack isn’t holy. All it is is a concentrated amount of lightning energy collapsed on a single point. Still, it is a powerful technique and warrants caution. Leikai sighs to himself, glad that he took time to bug the Elemental Druids about their Cyclone Armor. This shield absorbs elemental energies and disperses them, effectively nullifying them. Of course, it can only take so much. But being spared of even one hit will be better than nothing.

    Another bolt drops down onto Leikai. Sensing the static in the air he manages to leap forward just in time to avoid the strike. Of course, everyone has a weakness. Cloud Splitters can handle close range combat. Therefore…

    Leikai sprints towards his enemy, his mouth already dripping with the vile poison that has already claimed several Paladins’ lives. He wants to end this as quickly as possible. A direct hit from that attack can very well kill him. Something isn’t right though. The Paladin is holding his ground. He’s not running, trying to keep the distance. Doesn’t he know his own weakness? If he holds his ground he’s going to be shredded. Perhaps he’s delusional. It wouldn’t be the first time an enemy has under estimated Leikai. He closes the distance rapidly, opening his mouth in preparation for the fatal attack.

    The Paladin smirks as Leikai approaches him. Typical fighter. They think they have the situation all figured out yet they don’t even know the half of it. Tapping his scepter against his side, the Paladin shifts his stance, bringing his shield behind him. Leikai sees the move too late and tries to stop. That’s a Shield Dancers position. The Paladin charges forward and swings his shield right into Leikai’s stomach. Leikai opens his mouth to scream but only blood escape his muzzle. His momentum suddenly stopped, Leikai hangs in midair for a second while the Paladin brings his shield back and slams it into Leikai’s chest.

    Leikai is sent tumbling backwards, feeling the searing pain from the holy energy in the shield. This Paladin is both? That can’t be. He heard that the training for each was extremely hard and one could never master both. How could he be so stupid to believe that? Leikai rolls backwards onto his feet and digs his claws in, skidding to a stop. He looks for the Paladin but senses the static again. Jumping backwards Leikai barely manage to avoid getting electrocuted to death by yet another “heavenly†fist. This Paladin has a lot of stamina. Normally one could only cast a few of those attacks consecutively. Leikai lands on his feet and sees the Paladin rushing him. Leikai shifts his stance, turning his side to the enemy and bobbing on his feet. He’s going to need speed to win this battle.

    The Paladin reaches Leikai and tries to uppercut him with his shield. Leikai steps back, causing the attack to whiff in front of him. Almost immediately Leikai lunges forward and slashes at the exposed Paladin. The Paladin turns on his heels and spins, bringing the shield around again and swinging at Leikai’s head. Leikai redirects his slash and slashes the shield, forcing it down towards the ground. He brings his other claw back and tries to stab into the Paladin’s neck. The Paladin swings his scepter and knocks the attack to the side of his head. He then drags his shield across the ground, causing a cloud of dust to rise.

    Leikai takes a step back, not being able to see his attacker he tries to use his ears to guide him. He hears the movement of the air and ducks just in time to avoid the shield erupting out of the cloud, aiming at his face. Leikai tries to push forward on his feet to go for the rabid bite. However, the ground gives under him and he slips, falling onto his hands and knees. He tries to rise quickly but it’s already too late. He sees a blur of white then a flash as the shield connects with the side of his head. Leikai is sent reeling but is quickly downed as the Paladin then brings his shield down, slamming Leikai into the ground. Lei tries to gasp for breath but no air comes to him. His wind gone, he lies there, wheezing. The Paladin smiles and takes a step back, aiming his scepter at Leikai.

    “You’re a worthy adversary. However, your time has come!â€

    Leikai feels the static again but this time is unable to avoid the attack. A jagged bolt of lightning explodes upon him, causing him to scream in pain. The lightning is quickly followed by an explosion, sending a cloud of dust into the air. The Paladin lowers his scepter and looks over his handiwork. The Zakarum will surely be pleased with the vanquishing of such a formidable foe. Who would’ve thought that the Druids could pose such a problem? Movement from the cloud catches his eyes but he’s too slow to react. A flash of movement, followed by a knife erupt through the dust cloud and slash the Paladin across his neck. Almost instantly the light from the Paladin’s shield fades. His hands go up to his throat in shock. Next to him stands Leikai, blackened, smoking, and in his human form. He’s gasping for breath, barely able to stand on his feet. The Paladin looks at Lei, his eyes wide.

    “H-How did you survive?â€

    Leikai barely manages a smirk as he replies.

    “We… can’t be killed while shifted… We just… get very weak…â€

    The Paladin doesn’t respond as he falls forward. At the same time, Leikai succumbs to the devouring darkness as well. Both combatants fall next to each other as the chaos continues around their bodies.
     
  3. Apophis

    Apophis Banned

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    well..i think you should give to "the paladins" a name.this makes the story looks ugly with so many Paladins ,the paladins, try use a name or : they,them,:D
     
  4. Verashiden

    Verashiden IncGamers Member

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    ^^;; Yeah, I know. The problem with that is that I'm referring to the PAldins individually. I'm going to try just using the titles given to them more (Cloud Splitter, Shield Dancer, etc.). Aside from that how's the story? The idea? The Flow? I'm really looking forward to criticism on it :). Thanks for the reply
     
  5. The Last Melon

    The Last Melon IncGamers Member

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    To tell the truth, I stopped reading after about the first post. I'm not one for battle scenes, and I didn't really see why the paladins would come after the druids, something that needs to be explored in more depth. I also found the tense rather awkward - it's not that I'm not used to present tense, it's just that the way it was handled made me wince. I'd definitely suggest some kind of distinction between the main character's thoughts and his actions.

    Also, the capitals do need some work. Just as an example, in the first paragraph or so you say "Wolves", capitalized, which doesn't particularly fit or make sense.
     
  6. Rabbitz

    Rabbitz IncGamers Member

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    I loved it, post more :(
     
  7. Gungak

    Gungak IncGamers Member

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    Yeah I really Like it. I cant say I have the experiance critisising(sp?) theses stories as the normal posters here, but I like the plot and I got involved in the story. As rabbit said, lets have some more.
     
  8. AncientsQuest

    AncientsQuest IncGamers Member

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    intresting, it should of been a fire claw wolf or bear
    then when he lying there on the ground convusion changed back into a man
    he raises a mound of fire that spews firey stones then splits inti a great fissure and flames flow out
     
  9. Silent Shaddow

    Silent Shaddow IncGamers Member

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    i did like it, very readable although thoughts, actions and tenses are compilcated,
    hmm a few thoughts
    this is a war right? how come only 2druids? i kinda like the master idea but what is he doing? and where is this set? i like the idea of shenks place for like a highlands the wolevs are defending and harroragth is where the palas emerge from
    also a small note, but i feel that we dont need pointing out what the skill really are... we know, also what about support/dreamer/etc palas this is a war right?
    and what about our main chars stuff? again, no names, just description
    how about mentioning fury bug thing?
    -silent
     
  10. Verashiden

    Verashiden IncGamers Member

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    Ew, sorry folks, been... not motivated for awhile.

    I guess a history explanation is in order. Here is what happens before the story (kinda).

    After the death of Baal and the destruction of the World Stone, the World falls into a peaceful state. Despite the fears before, little has actually changed. Peace lasts for 100 years. then it happens. A Group of Paladins in Kurast rebel against the Zakarum. Calling themselves "Defenders of the True God" these rebels begin a massive purge, described by their leader, Lord Augustin III as "A evangelical cleansing to make way for God." Comprised of the Paladin's best, the remaining Paladins are quickly overthrown and Kurast is quickly put under the Defender's rule. Then they begin a massive expansion, conquering the bordering lands. Taken completely of guard by the Blitz Kreig style of offense, nation after nation falls under their rule. After taking the neighboring nations, the Paladins begin heading North, into Barbarian territory. But first, they must pass through the forests in their path, bringing them face-to-face with the Druids.

    Short, but I don't have a lot of time right now to expand it.

    As for the comments:

    The Last Melon: I know it seems confusing. I'm going to try to clean it up some but I'm not entirely sure how. Should I italicize the thoughts in order to make that distinction? Or perhaps I should just explain it better...

    Rabbitz: Thankies ^_^

    Gungak: I'm glad you got involved with the story. That's my goal, to drag you in and make you my slave ;).

    AncientsQuest: I'll get to them later, trust me :)

    Silent Shadow: I'm changing a few things around from the actual game mechanics. I'm not going to mention "bugs" unless I can see some way to work it into a non bug type of state. Also, I'm writing this [hopefully] as Blizzard intended the Ladder to be. Runes are [extremely] hard to come by, especially high runes. So Runewords like Enigma and Dream are of extreme rarity, just like class specific sets (hint). I'm focusing on only a certain amount of builds right now just so I don't overload a reader who is just getting into the game. As the stroy progresses more builds and such will be entered creating a "grand ole war".

    I'll post some more when I get a chance. Too many papers in College due soon :(.
     
  11. The Last Melon

    The Last Melon IncGamers Member

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    Okay, if you're going to have the explanation, work it into the story. Maybe have your main character reflecting on what had happened, or something of the like.

    Since you plan to improve it, I'll take a second look and give you some tips. In fact, I'll go over the first two paragraphs and hopefully that'll give you an idea of what I'm looking at.

    This is an excellent example of what I'm pointing out. You leap immediately from describing the battle below to asking how the battle began, and it seems out of place, especially since you've given us very little description of the battle anyway. I would suggest expanding more on the battle and then segueing into the questions more slowly and more smoothly. The abrupt change doesn't work.

    Also, "ensuing" seems to be more of a word that belongs in the past tense - things have happened that caused chaos to ensue.

    First of all, in the beginning you make no distinction between "them" and "them". "They" and "them" could be anyone. Who are you talking about? The Paladins? The Druids? Skippy the Flying Monkey's Crusaders of Doom?

    Secondly, you've abandoned your main character completely in favour of an omniscient narrator floating somewhere in the sky right here. The sudden departure isn't very smooth, and I would suggest tying it in to the narrator some how - maybe his thoughts as he looks back.

    Lastly, this entire paragraph should be in the past tense. These things have happened, and are not happening at the exact moment.

    Again, you're dropping your main character, this time in favour of a reporter-type narrator right behind them, thrusting a microphone at their faces ("Mr. Lekai, what are your thoughts on the situation? What about you, Mr. Master?"). I would either rewrite the entire thing to come more from Lekai's point of view, or switch it to a third person narrator, with the facts worked in some other way, perhaps through the Master giving orders to Lekai.
     

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