Movie Review thread.


Diabloii.Net Member
Movie Review thread.

Everyone can contribute whatever they wish. Only things that are required: title, year, rating (how good it was), rating (how much you enjoyed watching it), a short spoiler free synopsis, and a short spoiler free review. And the two ratings are there because we all know there are those terrible movies that are just a ton of fun to watch.

So i will start with the last two movies that i watched.

Norbit (2007)
Rating: 5/10
Fun: 7/10

Norbit is a guy with a rough childhood who was forced to marry to stereotypical fat black woman. His childhood crush moves in town and gets engaged while Norbit tries to win her over, while trying to escape his abusive girlfriend.

It had its moments, but other than that it was just a generic comedy that is only worth watching one time. Its worth watching one time if you ever get bored, but i cant exactly see myself watching it more than once. Eddie Murphy does good playing any comedy role, this movie is proof.

Dirty (2005)
Rating: 6/10
Fun: 7/10

Basically a knockoff of Training Day about crooked cops, two ex-gang bangers become police officers and the movie goes over one day of their lives.

Not exactly a bad movie. Just a knockoff of Training Day, instead of an undercover narc, they are just regular police officers. Only thing that i really didnt like about the movie is just how instead of focusing on a decent plot, they focus on trying to make it as dark and brutal as they possibly can. Really twisted movie, worth watching once because of Cuba Gooding Jr's performance, but no more than one time.
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Diabloii.Net Member
Nice idea for a thread. DVDs I rented this week:

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004).

Rating - 3/10

Joel (Jim Carrey) is undergoing a medical procedure to erase the memory of his ex-girlfriend, Clementine (Kate Winslet). However, while he is unconscious and the procedure is underway, he takes a journey through his mind, re-living moments with Clementine for fear of losing her forever.

Review - I have no idea why this is number 39 on IMDb. It was just dreadful and completely unbelievable in the execution of the plot. It was a very amateur film in my opinion.

It would have been much better had the plot actually been focussed on what the description above actually says it's about, because it seems primarily more concerned with the people running the memory erasing business than with the relationship between the two key actors.

Cinderella Man (2005).

Rating - 7/10

It's the true story of boxer James J. Braddock (Russell Crowe), a heavyweight contender from New Jersey nicknamed the Bulldog of Bergen, who lost his fame and fortune during the Great Depression only to win the hearts of the downtrodden during a spectacular comeback.

Review - Now, I can't stand boxing films, with the exception of Million Dollar Baby which was excellent. I also cannot stand Russell Crowe. Considering those two facts and the rating I have given it, this makes the film very good in the eyes of pretty much anyone else.

It was well shot, well acted and very watchable. However it wasn't perfect - it has its flaws, not least in the fact that the story is ultimately not compelling, despite its best attempts.

The Sentinel (2006).

Rating - 5/10

Special Agent Pete Garrison (Michael Douglas) is convinced that a Neo-Nazi aryan disciple has managed to infiltrate the White House. When a White House agent is murdered, Garrison is framed and blackmailed over an affair with the First Lady Sarah Bellentine. He is relieved of his duties, but Garrison will not stop in trying to prove his innocence, and save the life of the President.

Review - A very average film all round - a watchable action movie with no substance. There are a number of cliche elements that have been flogged to death in other films. It is saved by Michael Douglas who is, in my opinion, an excellent actor.

I enjoyed it, but I don't recommend it. I won't be watching it again.


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Flushed Away

Full of humor meant for adults it's still a good movie for kids
OMG - I did hate this one

Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou


an old school comedy - you do not see many movies like this these days...good acting, good humor, celebrities all over the place, good music, the list goes on.

Captain Steve Zissou (played by Bill Murray) decides to hunt down and kill jaguar shark that has killed his dear friend Esteban.



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Hannibal Rising 4/10

Severely lacking in plot and imagination... it's not even scary. The way he kills people are just like everyday crime.. choking, knifing, etc.

Bad movie, I would stay away even if you're a fan.

Ash Housewares

Diabloii.Net Member
do we want to stick with contemporary reviews or go into some older films?

also, if anyone wants a review, they could request and I would write a little something about it

as far as what I've seen recently

The Black Dahlia 2006

Synopsis - A 1940s noiresque investigation into the murder of an aspiring hollywood starlet reveals some interesting secrets in the lives of two L.A. detectives.

Rating - crappy/lame ; if I had to give that a score, I guess 5/10

Review - One reviewer put it well, he said along the lines that "if you wanted to see this movie to recapture the magic of L.A. Confidential, you should just watch L.A. Confidential again." This genre is a favorite of mine, a 40s noir detective story, but nothing happened. This was one of those movies where I just held out hope for something interesting to happen and was left out in the cold when the credits rolled. None of the characters were at all compelling, the performances were bland, and the story was inferior to many other films of the genre. The only decent performance was that of Mia Kirschner, the title victim whom she hammed up as a desperate aspiring big-screen sensation who never had a chance. The movie failed to really evoke any kind of response from me, I wouldn't have known it was a DePalma movie until the credits rolled either.

Reasons to Watch
-You think Hartnett is awesome.
-You'll watch anything with ScarJo in it.
-You are really really good at suspending your disbelief, even better than I am, and I watch Arnold movies where he jumps out of a plane on take-off and lands safely in a marsh.

Reasons to Avoid
-Badness in acting and writing
-Hartnett is not awesome
-You've seen actual good films and have a basis of comparison

Recommended Alternatives
-L.A. Confidential


Diabloii.Net Member
Music and Lyrics (2007)

Rating 5/10 (average)
Fun 7/10 (what can I say, I like Hugh Grant)

An washed up, has-been pop star convinces the lady that waters his plants to help him write a pop song to revive his career.

Pretty much exactly what it looks like. It's your standard romantic comedy starring Hugh Grant, Drew Berrymore and some eye candy.

Idiocracy (2006)

Rating 3/10
Fun 8/10

An average Joe gets put into suspended animation and wakes up 500 years later to find out he's easily the smartest person alive.

A weird mix of social commentary and toilet humor. While it wasn't executed very well, there are some funny jokes and stupid people are funny. Even Mike Judge's worst work is worth checking out.


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Clerks 2


Personally, it just doesnt get much better than this movie. I've seen it easily 100 times and I still laugh the whole way through it. You don't need to have seen Clerks first (or any of Smith's other movies) but it does make the movie better. The humour is fairly rude and certainly not a movie to play while the kids are around.


Diabloii.Net Member
Ghost Rider


I knew going in it was going to suck, and I was not disapointed. Some of the cheesiest, corniest lines ever, horrible acting, bad cgi, crappy fight scenes, disapointing bad guys. Pure trash.

I loved Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Bleh, to each his own I guess.


Diabloii.Net Member
Pick of Destiny

by Tenacious D, starring Jack Black

one of the best movies I've seen, lots of foul language but tons of humor.


Diabloii.Net Member
Lady in the Water (2006)
Rating: -53/10
Fun: -3891/10

A prophetic "Narf" is sent as a messenger from the "Ocean People" to the depths of the swimming pool in a Philadelphia apartment complex. Her mission: Contact a "Vessel", enlighten him with her presence, and in so doing save the future of mankind. Oh by the way, there are dogs made of grass that are bent on preventing her from accomplishing this mission, thus breaking the laws enforced by the monkeys made of sticks. Right.

If only because of Grease 2, this is the second worst movie I have ever had the misfortune of seeing. It is the cinematic equivalent of Shyamalan masturbating. At no point in the meandering, senseless plot did it even approach a moderately sane level of believability, even to drunk 9-year-old Pokemon fans. If I were ever to recommend movies to my enemies, this would certainly top the list. If it weren't for the learjet-sized eagles, and the movie critic being devoured by a grass dog, I wouldn't have even laughed. I give it a -53 out of 10, and may the fleas of a thousand camels infest nether regions of M. Night Shyamalan.

Ash Housewares

Diabloii.Net Member
I wrote a hateful review of Da Vinci Code but the forum monsters still lurk nearby and ate a bushel of posts from me, I may muster the effort to write it again, but then it was basically fart noises and throwing tomatoes


Diabloii.Net Member
Bridge to Terabithia (2007)

Rating: 8/10

Fun: 5/10

I haven't read the book, so I won't comment on the movie's fidelity. Standing alone, I thought it was great, in spite of being much different than expected. BtT oscillates between a fantasy world and real life with all its problems for two socially outcast 6th graders. I was hoping to see major development of the fantasy realm (Terabithia), and so in some sense I was disappointed by the focus on reality. However, that's only because I went to the theater expecting a Narnia-like adventure. The reality actually provides much more poignance and I have to say it got to me pretty good on an emotional level. See this movie if you want to think and feel, but not if you want an action-filled adventure.

Sokar Rostau

Diabloii.Net Member
OMYGAWD there's a feature film with the Tenacious D label?? If it's anything like their video clips that will be gold.

*Watches **** Her Gently and Tribute for the 50th time this week*

EDIT: Ooooo new edit format... handy.

The original Clerks had one of the most memorable lines from the last decade, certainly one of the best responses to a pick-up ever. Does the sequel live up to this?
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Diabloii.Net Member
I really shouldn't get into this thread even though it looks fun; either I'd write a one-liner or I'd get too into it and write ten pages.

Well, here's my attempt:

Logan's Run

Good movie, very glad I watched it. I thought some bits could've been improved (like at exactly what point Logan changed his mind about his mission, I found that confusing), but it's a classic all the same. Gorgeous retro sci-fi cinematography, iconic imagery, all that good stuff. I liked the leads (Michael York is a weird actor, I always like to see him in a movie), Peter Ustinov's performance was brilliant. Oh, and Farrah Fawcett(-Major)'s retro-cameo was cool, nice performance too.

I also noticed with amusement that the clean-up and brightening of the film made the model sequences look way more fake than they did in the original format (as seen in the trailers on the disc, anyway). Heh.

We've got a runner!

There, I managed it.

Hannibal Rising 4/10

Severely lacking in plot and imagination... it's not even scary. The way he kills people are just like everyday crime.. choking, knifing, etc.

Bad movie, I would stay away even if you're a fan.
I saw posters and knew right away it would be a massive turkey, then I saw trailers and it was confirmed.

Ghost Rider


I knew going in it was going to suck, and I was not disapointed. Some of the cheesiest, corniest lines ever, horrible acting, bad cgi, crappy fight scenes, disapointing bad guys. Pure trash.

I loved Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Bleh, to each his own I guess.
Looks so astoundingly bad I'm considering watching it.



Diabloii.Net Member
Crank (2006)
Rating: 8/10
Fun: 10/10

Hitman is injected with a poison leaving him only one hour to live. So he goes out and tries to hunt down the person who injected him with the poison.

This movie obviously has a terrible plot, so its not really a movie made to be taken seriously. Its a pure all out action movie, they spend a good 3 minutes explaining the plot before he is out with his rampage. The thing is that i saw this movie 5 times now, and its still not boring to me, its just so over the top and ridiculous that you have a great time every single time you see it. The director did some very cool effects with the movie, and it was well made. Its all just tons of action and really ridiculous scenes, if you can watch a movie that isnt serious at all, and just over the top insane, this is one of the best movies of the genre (i guess you can call it that).

And im going to watch Pan's Labyrinth tonight, to see what the hype is all about.


Diabloii.Net Member
I also loved Eternal Sunshine of the spotless mind. I'd easily give that movie 7.5/10.

Bubba Ho-Tep

Pure comic genius starring the king of B movies, Bruce Campbell himself. This movie is about an Elvis impersonator who truly believes he is Elvis, living out the rest of his days in an old folks home. His best friend is a senile old black guy who thinks he is JFK and together they must stop an undead mummy who sucks the souls of senior citizens through their butts. Great cheesy lines and such a rediculous plot makes this movie totally awesome.