More movie humor :) (long post)

Gorny

Banned
More movie humor :) (long post)


I found this one by accident :



THUMBNAIL GUIDE TO ROTK


Gandalf, Theoden, Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli go to Isengard. There they find Merry and Pippin.

Merry and Pippin - "Yo!"

Pippin - "What's this shiny thing?"

Gandalf - "Saruman is defeated. Let's go to Rohan!"

Pippin - "what's that shiny thing?"

Sauron - "RAAAARRRRR!"

Pippin - "my head!"

Gandalf - "Oh great, now we have to go to Gondor."

Meanwhile, somewhere near Minas Morgul...

Gollum - "Hee! I'm gonna trick them!"

Sam - "I heard that!"

Frodo - "Do I have to separate you two?"

Back in Gondor:

Gandalf - "Sauron is coming."

Denethor - "Talk to the hand, grandpa."

Pippin - "I'll be your servant, Denethor!"

Denethor - "Whatever."

Faramir - "Osgiliath is overrun."

Denethor - "So go re-overrun it."

Faramir - "But I'll die."

Denethor - "Whatever."

Gandalf - "Pippin, go play with fire."

Pippin - "Okay!" (lights signals)

Theoden - (sees signals) "Let's go kick ***! In three days or so, you know, whenever."

Meanwhile, back in Rivendell

Arwen - "I cry too beautifully to not be in this part of the film."

Elrond - "Why are you back here?"

Arwen - "I see dead people."

Elrond - "Wrong movie. And that was your future son. Guess I'll have to reforge that damn sword and take it to Aragorn."

Arwen - "I'll just languish here tragically, then."

Elrond - "Whatever."

Meanwhile, on a cliff near Cirith Ungol

Gollum - "I'll frame Sam!"

Sam - "I've been framed!"

Frodo - "I'm separating you two!"

Sam - (cries)

Frodo - (looks manic and tortured)

Meanwhile, back in Rohan

Elrond - "Here's your damn sword. And by the way, Arwen is languishing tragically in Rivendell, so hurry up and kick
the *** of evil, okay?"

Aragorn - "How?"

Elrond - "I see dead people."

Aragorn - "Wrong movie."

Elrond - "Just go talk to the Evil Dead and get an ***-kicking army that you will inexplicably let go before they get a
chance to, oh, I don't know, KILL ALL OF SAURON'S MINIONS, or anything useful like that."

Aragorn - "Okay."

Eowyn - "Hey! Where do you think you're going?"

Aragorn - "I'm not going to explain to you, because I am all mysterious and noble and stuff. By the way, I don't love you.
Bye!"

Eowyn - "Fine. I guess I'll run away and join the Rohirrim, then."

Meanwhile, Back in Gondor

Denethor - "My son is dead! My poor, dead son is dead!"

Pippin - "He's still breathing."

Denethor - "No he isn't."

Pippin - "Yes he is."

Denethor - "Isn't."

Pippin - "Is."

Gandalf - "Shut up and kill some Orcs, you losers!"

Denethor - "I'm feeling chilly. Build me a bonfire!"

Meanwhile, at Cirith Ungol

Gollum - "Hee! I tricked you!"

Frodo - (looks manic and tortured)

Shelob - "RAR!"

Frodo - EEK!

Sam - (halfway down stairs, stops crying, decides to stab something instead, like Gollum)

Shelob - (stabs Frodo)

Frodo - (looks manic, tortured and then unconscious)

Sam - "I need something to stab now that I've stopped crying!" (stabs Shelob)

Shelob - "RAR?" (runs away)

Sam - "Oh no, Mr. Frodo is dead!" (cries and hides)

Orcs - "He's not dead, let's take him away and torture him!"

Sam - (stops crying, starts thinking about stabbing orcs)

Meanwhile, near Rohan

Aragorn - "I see dead people!"

Legolas - "Me too!"

Gimli - "Me three!"

Dead King - "That reference is so five years ago."

Aragorn - "Fight for me, and I promise I won't actually keep you around to do any really heavy fighting, like against
Sauron's big-*** army that's still in Mordor, or anything."

Dead King - "You might be an idiot, but you do have a cool sword. Okay, let's go kick the *** of evil."

Meanwhile, back in Rohan

Eowyn - "I'm running away to join the Rohirrim! Wanna come?"

Merry - "Sure!"

Meanwhile, in Cirith Ungol

Frodo - (wakes up, looks manic and tortured)

Orcs and Uruk Hai - "Rarr! I'll kill you!" (kill each other)

Sam - "I need something to stab now that I'm not crying!" (kills orcs)

Frodo - "Sam, they got the Ring!"

Sam - "Nah, here it is. Let's go throw it in the volcano."

Frodo - (looks manic and tortured)

Sam - (manages not to cry or stab Frodo)

Meanwhile, Back in Gondor

Pippin - "Gandalf! Denethor is setting himself on fire!"

Gandalf - "So?"

Pippin - "And Faramir, too!"

Gandalf - (whacks Denethor with staff) "Bad Steward! No cookie!"

Pippin - "I told you he wasn't dead!"

Denethor - "Wah!" (throws self off of Minas Tirith)

Aragorn and Army of Dead - "Rarr!"

Witch King of Angmar - "Rarr!"

Theoden -"oof!"

Merry - "Rarr!"

Eowyn - "Rarr!"

Witch King of Angmar - "I'm mellllting! Mellllltiiiinnng!" (shrivels up and dies)

Aragorn - (to Army of Dead) "You saved the day. You can go now."

Gimli - "What about the REST of Sauron's army?"

Aragorn - "I figure we'll just ride over to Mordor ourselves and get killed horribly."

Everyone - "Okay!"

Meanwhile, over at Mt. Doom

Frodo - (looks manic and tortured, passes out)

Sam - "Oh great, now I have to carry his aristocratic *** up this sheer rock cliff. Why do I have to carry EVERYTHING
in this stupid movie?" (picks up Frodo)

Gollum - "Surprise!"

Sam - "Ow!"

Frodo - (runs)

Sam - "I'm gonna stab somebody before this is over!"

Frodo - "Screw you guys, the ring is mine!" (looks extremely manic, disappears)

Gollum - (bites Frodo)

Sam - (can't decide whether to cry or stab something)

Gollum - "I got the Precious! Neener, neener, oops!" (falls into lava)

Meanwhile, back at the Black Gate

Aragorn - "Whooee, that's a lotta army in there! Maybe I shoulda kept those dead guys around."

Everyone - "Ya THINK?"

Mt. Doom - Blammo!

Everyone - "Yay! I mean, oh no! Poor Frodo! But still, yay! Damn."

Meanwhile, on Mt. Doom

Sam - (cries)

Frodo - "Hey! I'm the one who got his finger BITTEN OFF! Why are you crying?"

Sam - "You better hope I keep crying, 'cause when I stop I'm gonna want to stab something, and you're the only living
thing around here for miles."

Frodo - "Except those giant eagles over there."

Sam - "Great. Where were they 6 months ago? Bastards."

Later -

Aragorn - "Well, we didn't all die, so I'm gonna get married and be King!

Sam - "And I'm gonna get married and be Mayor of the Shire!"

Frodo - "And I'm gonna sail into the West with Gandalf, Bilbo and the elves!"

Sam - (sighs) "But first, I'm gonna have to cry some more and not stab anything."

Merry and Pippin - "And we're gonna smoke some pipeweed!

Everyone - "Yay!"

The End
 

SomeCanadianGuy

Diabloii.Net Member
Well that was interesting. Kinda like condensed soup, lacking in some of the real flavor. :p But I liked it. Pokes good fun at the storyline.
 

MinasMorgul

Diabloii.Net Member
Now that was entertaining. :lol: !!! have you read the very secret daries of the LOTR characters yet??
 
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