monogamy

T

Thirtytwoandlost

Banned
monogamy

First, if this subject has been beaten to death, please forgive me and have this thread nuked.

I am curious to hear everyone's thoughts on monogamy, and I'll explain why.

I feel that humans are not naturally monogomous. Agree disagree?

I also feel that I couldn't personally cope with being in an "open" relationship. Have any of you had successful "open" relationships? Do any of you feel like I do, that monogamy is not natural, and yet find themselves incapable to have an "open" relationship? If so, how do you deal with the conflict?

I also have a friend that his seriously researching the topic with his wife, with the possibility that they might try an "open" relationship....which is causeing me to think a bit more about the subject.

Any thoughts/idea/concerns/opinions/experiences on the subject are welcome.
 
A

Akira

Member
i don't know if humans are naturally monogamous, but i know i definately wouldn't last in a polyamarous relationship.
 
A

Akira

Member
Well, i meant i'd get stressed out because i'd like one of them and they wouldn't like me as much, and that might cause me to snap and go on some sociopathic stint. But yeah, you can be bad in bed if you want.
 
Sergeant

Sergeant

Diabloii.Net Member
Wrongo.. mammals aren't naturally monogamous, for the most part. I believe (cause I don't have any proof at the moment) that there are some mammals that are, for the most part, monogamous.

Humans, as a sentient being, are monogamous. Because if they do not exercise enough will to supress and deny thier own impulses, they're really nothing more than animals anyhow. Our ability to deny our impulses, supress urges and make a choice are what differentiates us from the animal kingdom.

Regardless of how many women I'd like to sleep with; I am a monogamous person and don't want or need more than one woman in my life.
 
T

Thirtytwoandlost

Banned
Sergeant said:
Wrongo.. mammals aren't naturally monogamous, for the most part. I believe (cause I don't have any proof at the moment) that there are some mammals that are, for the most part, monogamous.

Humans, as a sentient being, are monogamous. Because if they do not exercise enough will to supress and deny thier own impulses, they're really nothing more than animals anyhow. Our ability to deny our impulses, supress urges and make a choice are what differentiates us from the animal kingdom.

Regardless of how many women I'd like to sleep with; I am a monogamous person and don't want or need more than one woman in my life.
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Interesting.

Wrongo...I think...I mean I believe....for the most part...does not seem so how do you say...convincing??

I think we are animals. Maybe rational animals, but definitely animals. Also, I believe the rate of extramarital affairs is quite high. (runs off to google it)What does this mean?
 
tarnok

tarnok

Diabloii.Net Member
"Natural" in this context (and in many others come to that) is an ill-defined term. As such any meaningful debate on whether or not humans are "naturally" monogamous must follow a clear defining of the idea of "natural."

To stem the swelling tide that I sense aproaching, no definition refering to an ambiguous "nature" will be considered well defined.

For my part, monogamy for life. I'm nothing if not irrationally loyal.
 
D

dantose

Diabloii.Net Member
I think the general idea is natural means did the exclusive relationship arise before or after the advent of early civilization in our species. It's hard question to answer.
 
U

ULTIMATER

Diabloii.Net Member
If i ever find a girl i truly love, i would not be unfaithful to her in any way.

But like thats ever gonna happen, im a picky fella :D But IMO looks only counts ~30% or something close..
 
MixedVariety

MixedVariety

Banned
Of course humans are animals. What else would we be? Fungi? Mold spores?

Anyway, I like the way Serge puts it. In a nutshell, while an empty-headed cave man might have the impulse to travel the countryside, impregnating as many cave girls as possible, our ability to think supposedly raises us above the level of mere animal. Committing yourself to one person, for life, is an expression of love and loyalty that animals can't comprehend, and circumvents jealousy and worry if trust is there as it should be.
So, are humans naturally monogamous? Possibly not. Does our intellect give us the power to override nature and let us make choices? I think it's supposed to.
 
T

Thirtytwoandlost

Banned
ULTIMATER said:
If i ever find a girl i truly love, i would not be unfaithful to her in any way.

But like thats ever gonna happen, im a picky fella :D But IMO looks only counts ~30% or something close..
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I think you would find that many of the people that have been unfaithful had never planned to.

I'll try to think about definitions and "natural" and write back.
 
U

ULTIMATER

Diabloii.Net Member
Thirtytwoandlost said:
I think you would find that many of the people that have been unfaithful had never planned to.

I'll try to think about definitions and "natural" and write back.
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Well, i dont plan to then :p

And a "natural" beutiful girl is what i want, correct :D
 
tarnok

tarnok

Diabloii.Net Member
Thirtytwoandlost said:
I think you would find that many of the people that have been unfaithful had never planned to.
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"No one ever plans to fail, they simply fail to plan."

The problem is whether or not you have considered the matter before hand. As the Hagakure advises, you should think about how you will act in a given situation before it arises and then commit yourself to following through. I do not know about Ultimater, but for my part not only do I have no plans to cheat on a significant other, but I have actively thought about not cheating and, indeed, how I would rebuff the advances of someone trying to tempt me to do so.
 
T

Technetium

Diabloii.Net Member
I find myself only interested in monogamy.

I also think that monogamy/polygamy is strongly based on how long it takes the parents to raise the offspring to adulthood. Animals like dogs and cats are not monogamous, I believe, because puppies or kittens can take care of themselves after only a year or two. Humans, on the other hand, need around 12 or so years to get to that point, and society has tacked on an extra 5 or 6 years because most people have decided it's better for us. I've heard that dolphins and whales form strong relationships.
 
T

Thirtytwoandlost

Banned
MixedVariety said:
Of course humans are animals. What else would we be? Fungi? Mold spores?

Anyway, I like the way Serge puts it. In a nutshell, while an empty-headed cave man might have the impulse to travel the countryside, impregnating as many cave girls as possible, our ability to think supposedly raises us above the level of mere animal. Committing yourself to one person, for life, is an expression of love and loyalty that animals can't comprehend, and circumvents jealousy and worry if trust is there as it should be.
So, are humans naturally monogamous? Possibly not. Does our intellect give us the power to override nature and let us make choices? I think it's supposed to.
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I think there is a wide gulf between impregnating every cave dwelling young lady and a life of perfect trust, loyalty and monogomy.

Yes, I agree, we do HAVE the intellect to make this choice, but I question if it is healthiest and best for a relationship, not wether we can.
 
T

Thirtytwoandlost

Banned
I aplogize, I must leave my computer behind for a few hours. I will try to explain my feelings/opinion on this, and address some of the comments in more detail later this evening.
 
S

Suicidal Zebra

Diabloii.Net Member
Thirtytwoandlost said:
I think there is a wide gulf between impregnating every cave dwelling young lady and a life of perfect trust, loyalty and monogomy.

Yes, I agree, we do HAVE the intellect to make this choice, but I question if it is healthiest and best for a relationship, not wether we can.
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It depends entirely on the relationship between the two individuals, the emotional maturity and mental sate of either, and other interesting things like STD's and such.

Personally, I can only consider a monogamous relationship. At this stage in my life it is the only thing that interests me in terms of a long-term relationship. This has little to do with my own morality, (lack of) religious convictions or anything of that nature, just something that seems somehow the 'right' choice.

This is not to say that polygamous relationships are unhealthy, or undesirable, as quite frankly they are beyond my ken. However, they are simply not for me or anyone I would consider to be a life-partner (or whatever fancy way you want to put it).

*wonders where Fel got too*
 
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