Monday's depressing nuggets of wisdom sure to ruin your day Gee, thought I forgot about all of you? I think not!! I wouldn't dream of letting a weekday pass without imparting just a little more joy and mirth unto your lives... So... strap yourself in for today's joyride courtesy of Dr. Oswald T. Pratt, from his book "You are Worthless" Thinking about having kids??? Or... have kids? Here are some thoughts to ponder... You are an ATM machine, a bus driver, a landlord that offers free rent, a cook, a cleaning lady, and a nurse. But first and foremost, you are a chump. Lonely? Have kids. They'll be like an Alzheimer's patient at first, then they'll be like a high-maintenance pet, then they'll be like your worst enemy, then they might call once in a while, finally, in your old age, they'll neglect you. By the way, this whole de-lonlification process will cost you a few hundred thousand dollars. If you want your family lineage to continue, why not have children with several partners. From a strictly evolutionary way of thinking, your chances of successful progeny would be much greater. You fancy yourself a pretty smart person. But consider this: Biology outsmarted you. Because despite all logic, it tricked you into believing it was a good idea to have kids. So there you have it... today's nuggets of joy to keep your mind fed and your soul well nourished.