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Monday's depressing nuggets of wisdom sure to ruin your day

Discussion in 'Off-Topic' started by LunarSolaris, Mar 9, 2004.

  1. LunarSolaris

    LunarSolaris IncGamers Member

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    Monday's depressing nuggets of wisdom sure to ruin your day

    Gee, thought I forgot about all of you? I think not!! I wouldn't dream of letting a weekday pass without imparting just a little more joy and mirth unto your lives...

    So... strap yourself in for today's joyride courtesy of Dr. Oswald T. Pratt, from his book "You are Worthless"




    Thinking about having kids??? Or... have kids? Here are some thoughts to ponder...


    You are an ATM machine, a bus driver, a landlord that offers free rent, a cook, a cleaning lady, and a nurse. But first and foremost, you are a chump.



    Lonely? Have kids. They'll be like an Alzheimer's patient at first, then they'll be like a high-maintenance pet, then they'll be like your worst enemy, then they might call once in a while, finally, in your old age, they'll neglect you. By the way, this whole de-lonlification process will cost you a few hundred thousand dollars.




    If you want your family lineage to continue, why not have children with several partners. From a strictly evolutionary way of thinking, your chances of successful progeny would be much greater.



    You fancy yourself a pretty smart person. But consider this: Biology outsmarted you. Because despite all logic, it tricked you into believing it was a good idea to have kids.


    So there you have it... today's nuggets of joy to keep your mind fed and your soul well nourished. ;)
     
    LunarSolaris, Mar 9, 2004
    #1
  2. DurfBarian

    DurfBarian IncGamers Member

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    * leaps off of bridge *
     
    DurfBarian, Mar 9, 2004
    #2
  3. Technetium

    Technetium IncGamers Member

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    So is this, like, a regular thing like Ev's songs of the week threads?
     
    Technetium, Mar 9, 2004
    #3
  4. Akira

    Akira Member

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    i'm not sure what your avatar is but it would probably be humorous to see it jump off anything.
     
    Akira, Mar 9, 2004
    #4
  5. SomeCanadianGuy

    SomeCanadianGuy IncGamers Member

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    I couldn't figure out what it was either, but I've come to the conclusion after taking a quick look at it just now that it is, in fact, a walrus or sabretooth skull... (something with big teeth) I might be wrong, but I think that's what it is.
     
    SomeCanadianGuy, Mar 9, 2004
    #5
  6. Ash Housewares

    Ash Housewares IncGamers Member

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    of course it's a walrus skull, what else would it be?
     
    Ash Housewares, Mar 9, 2004
    #6
  7. th5418

    th5418 Banned

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    Fool, its a skull! Walrus of course. Sexy.
     
    th5418, Mar 9, 2004
    #7
  8. Canadia142

    Canadia142 Banned

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    but I want kids! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
    *suicides*
     
    Canadia142, Mar 9, 2004
    #8
  9. TurdFergusen

    TurdFergusen Banned

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    But who's going to take over the world when I die?
     
    TurdFergusen, Mar 9, 2004
    #9
  10. Hippie Holocost

    Hippie Holocost IncGamers Member

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    His avatar looks like a rabbit licking its balls


    *Jumps off bridge and Durf breaks my fall*
     
    Hippie Holocost, Mar 9, 2004
    #10

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