Looking back... A lot of stuff has happened since school started for me in October. I've been in 2 car accidents, had 2 girl friends, had thousands of dollars pass through my bank accout, or my hands. Not missing a day of school, still putting a lot of effort into my car, losing some of my friends, but making some ones at the same time. I don't even know why I'm posting this, maybe just to get some feelings out. About 15 minutes ago, I was ransacking my cubbards and I saw something that said "Martin" on it, the first thing that popped into my head was my last girlfriend, Aubrey. I see her everyonce in awhile at school, and today while I was driving. I still do catch myself thinking about her at night, about what we had, how happy I was, everything. Early today, when I was my Foreign Policy class, I rememberd the last time she was at my house, it was a Friday. The reason I remember it, is that next day (Saturday) was a car show, and I still have the ticket stub in my wallet. I don't know why I think these thoughts, or why I'm sitting here posting about, well, what I'm posting about. I don't know what it was about her, that attracted me to her. Last year, I'd see her around school and say to myself "Ooh man, Aubrey Martin". Never thinking that I'd date her, let alone kiss her. Remembering those times I'd get off work, calling her and her asking me to come over. Or when, my bumper for my car came. Then I drove down to her house, we went to go look at cars, and then back to my house again. The night before the day I just explained... I was talking with her on the internet and I the topic of dating came up, and I asked her what she wanted. (At this time, I didn't know she had feelings for me, and I didn't really have feelings for her.) I asked her what she wanted, and she told me "If what I want is meant to happen, it will happen." and that was us, and it did happen. Oooh man, I'm listening to music on my computer right now. Out of the 134 songs on my winamp player, and it being on 'shuffle', its playing New Found Glory - The Story So Far. This was the song I listened to religeously before we dated, it made me think about her, and at the time I liked to think about her. I remember, for about 4 or 5 nights in a row, me and her would talk for a minimum of 2 hours each of those 5 nights, we just talked, about everything. Damn, it sure is ironic how this song is playing right now.... One time that sticks out in my head the most is when I went over to her house afterwork one night, there was nothing special about it... That night, of all the times we spent together sticks out the most. We broke up on a Friday, and a week later we fooled around. Like I stated before, that was the last time she was at my house. We continued to talk, despite it was werid and akward. Then we stopped talking for a long period of time, she withdrew, I got busy with school/work. Some stuff got around to her about stuff I apparently said about her, and she was upset with me for awhile, I didn't really care. She always told me she thought we were gonna end up together. About 4 months later, I haven't dated a girl since. I couldn't love single life more. Aubrey and I went out to dinner awhile ago, she was the one who asked me, we went out and had a good time. When I dropped her off that night, I said "I had fun. Goodnight Aubrey". That was the last time I ever spoke with her, don't really know why, don't really care. Didn't try to call her, she didn't try to call me. Looking back, I know I did all I could. I treated her the best I could, I did everything I thought was right, and thats all a person can do. I'm not sure why I made my longest post to date on one of my ex-girlfriends. It's strange how a can that reads "Martin" can envoke such memories to me. She's still with her rude, controlling boyfriend. He still treats her like crap, she still cheats on him (one of the people she cheated on him with was me). Like I said before, I did the best I could in that relationship, her actions just reflect on her as a person. Last week, my brothers girlfriend of 8 months asked me if I ever thought about falling in love, or getting a girlfriend. I told her it was the last thing on my mind, and there are more important things to me. If this didn't make sense to any of you, I'm sorry. A lot of thoughts were going through my head, and I tried to organize them and explain them as best I could.