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Kids from previous relationships.

Discussion in 'Off-Topic' started by GIR, Mar 15, 2004.

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What day do you think ladder will reset?

  1. Midnight tonight

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  2. Tomorrow

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  3. Tuesday

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  4. Wednesday

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  5. Thursday

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  6. Friday

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  7. Next weekend

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  8. Next monday

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  9. Next tuesday

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  10. After that

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  1. GIR

    GIR Banned

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    Kids from previous relationships.

    Say you were just starting a relationship with someone, or even planning to, how much of an impact does the other person having a kid(s) from a previous relationship effect your decision, and why?
     
  2. Pierrot le Fou

    Pierrot le Fou IncGamers Member

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    I love kids. As long as they can find someone to take care of it now and again then I'm fine with it. Also assuming they're willing to have future kids and the kid isn't a brat.
     
  3. Anakha1

    Anakha1 Banned

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    Relationship ender for me. I'm not expecting kids of my own for the next 20 years. I sure don't want someone else's. I'm not, if I'll ever be, ready to become a father.
     
  4. Kore

    Kore IncGamers Member

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    What he said.
     
  5. Silvermyst

    Silvermyst IncGamers Member

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    It would depend for me. Currently, being young, there's no way I'd go out with someone with kids, and it would probably stay that way for at least another 15-20 years.

    Even so, I could never have a permenent relationship with someone who already has kids. I would much rather enjoy the experience of haveing children with someone in the same situation.
     
  6. Anakha1

    Anakha1 Banned

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    I'm also a step-child myself and I know what hell I put my step-father through when I was younger solely because he wasn't my real father. I wouldn't want to go through that.
     
  7. Silvermyst

    Silvermyst IncGamers Member

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    Good reason. I think that would make the biggest influence in my decision to be with someone with kids. What are the kids like.
     
  8. Anakha1

    Anakha1 Banned

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    Hey now, I wasn't a bad kid. I was actually pretty well behaved. I was just pissed that he had replaced my father and given that I was 6 or 7 when it happened I didn't fully understand what was happening. That kind of stuck for years until he and I became friends.
     
  9. GIR

    GIR Banned

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    I went through a couple of different father figures myself. My mother and father broke up before I was born. When I was about 4 me and my mother lived with her boyfriend. There I rolled my first joint at 4 years old. Every single morning he would get up and roll his own "cigaretts" in the living room while I was watching cartoons, and I used to help him. I didn't actually know what it actaully was until I was about 14, and recognized the smell from my early childhood. I remember when I was 5 though I had called him on it. I had asked him why he rolled his own cigarettes every morning when he always had a box of Marlboro's in his car. He said because he liked the ones he rolled himself better. Heh, I bet he did.

    From like 8-15 I had a step-father. Good guy. Mother treated him like crap.
     
  10. Satrina

    Satrina IncGamers Member

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    Thankfully, my Hubby was fine with the fact I had kids. Granted, they didn't live with me, and Emmy only came over about a year and a half ago. But he's her Daddy now.

    I still have alot of insecurities with it all. Alot of times when he gets miffed at her I presume it's all my fault and he's gonna wanna get rid of us both, or make me choose between them. Then he tells me to stop being insane and I get over it :).

    I think a huge part of the way these two have been able to accept each other has to do with the fact that Emmy's biological father is a bastard that has abandoned her now that she sees through his ways. And Hubby is so gosh darn faboo :D.

    Still could choke them both at times though. But that's just life really :)
     
  11. Anakha1

    Anakha1 Banned

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    Kids are teh evil +1.
     
  12. Ash Housewares

    Ash Housewares IncGamers Member

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    I am constantly being attacked by children

    I can deal with kids, but I don't want to yet :)
     
  13. Painman

    Painman IncGamers Member

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    I've managed to plug along for 35 1/2 years without generating any biological baggage... I don't really like kids, and given my current situation, I have no intentions of fathering any. So... kids are a definite minus for me, but I still voted for the last option because you just don't know who you're going to fall madly in love with, and when you do, there you are.
     
  14. Drosselmeier

    Drosselmeier IncGamers Member

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    Not a problem unless the kids totally hate me. If they did it wouldn´t work out, but if the kids are cool with me I´m cool with them.
     
  15. CaptJoe213

    CaptJoe213 IncGamers Member

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    I sure hope kids is not a problem in my relationship, considering we have 6 between us.... only 2 that live with us though.

    I personally was raised by a stepfather. My mother and bio father split before I was born as well, my mother married my stepfather when I was around a year old. He raised me as if I was his own. In fact, he has health problems, and the doc asked how many children he had, wanting to screen the children for the problem. My father said 3. My mom said 'no dear'. My father was confused and said 3 again. It took my mother reminding him to make him remember I'm not naturally his. In his mind, and in mine, I am his blood.

    Since being grown, I have come to know of my bio father. He has many difficulties. If he had been in my life as a child, I feel it would have taken something from me. My bio father is very unstable. My true father, the man that raised me, taught me strength, strength I needed to survive. That man, whether I carry his genes or not, is and always will be my father. I owe him more than I could ever repay. He is truly a hero to me, and I hope I'm half the man he didn't have to be.

    My stepchildren are a part of me, and I am a part of them. I love them with my whole heart, no different from how I love my own child. I owe this to them, for allowing me in their lives, and I owe it to my father, for doing the same for me. They may have issues later, as I did as a teen, but I will continue to love them wholly, as my father did me.

    All of you that dont want children, like Anak, I applaud you. Refusing the responsibility is a good thing, if you are not ready. Making sure you're ready before accepting the task will make you a better parent if you ever choose to become one. If not, at least you dont get stuck in a situation where you are harmful to a child's mental well being by being stuck in a situation you dont want to be in. Too many people jump in without thinking.
     

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