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Just saw Kingdom of Heaven...

Discussion in 'Off-Topic' started by jimmyboy, May 7, 2005.

  1. jimmyboy

    jimmyboy IncGamers Member

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    Just saw Kingdom of Heaven...

    Just saw it yesterday. Guess I have a thing for periodic flicks. Not bad. It's somewhere between Gladiator and Troy. Great costumes. Those mail-suits must weigh a ton. Actors must have died in the heat let alone real knights.

    The bad: poor characters. No humor. Some inconsistency. The moral of the story sucks.

    Here's what I learn after watching this movie:

    - rich french men are obnoxious.
    - rich israeli women are hot.
    - wear alot of armor when in a melee fight.
    - templars are bad (sorry Smeg)
    - hospitalers are good
    - bring alot of water when going into the desert.
    - don't live in the middle ages, life sucked.
    - purge all religious extremists from government.
    - Olando Bloome has fake boobs (sorry ladies)
     
  2. SelfBaisResistor

    SelfBaisResistor IncGamers Member

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    How was Liam Neeson's performance?
     
  3. nosoup4crr

    nosoup4crr IncGamers Member

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    I saw it too. Liam Niesan doesn't have very much on-screen time. I wished they had made him the lead as opposed to Orlando Bloom. I think Orlando can play some roles really well. Paris was a good role for him in Troy because it's slightly efeminite. However, this was not the role for him. Every time he gave an inspirational speech, It seemed a little wierd--like seeing a guy in fishnet stockings. Also, something else that kind of erked my anal retentive sensibilities was that, even though the movie probably cost more than 100 million dollars, the idea to have Balian's thought processes be auditory for a whole 30 seconds passed. We heard him think in two instances, and that's it. It was a little rediculous. Otherwise, I thought the movie was very good. I didn't even know Edward Norton was the king until today. I wish I had known that. I would've liked to have seen what happened to Guy de Lisagne. Apparently, he died a horrible death. My history major friend told me he was gutted, and made to live for 6 hours. With as much blood and gore as they had, I do believe they could've done this w/out too much extra shock value. Also, Saladin's portrayal was great. He was truly a compassionate ruler. In Muslim text, enemy text, all texts no matter how biased, he's told to have gone out of his way to be hospitable and right.
     
  4. Garbad_the_Weak

    Garbad_the_Weak IncGamers Member

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    NTNTNT!!!111!1 She was ugly. Not only did she look like she got beat up for 2/3 of the movie (gogo blacked eyes) but then she shaved her head and looked like a dyke. I give her a definate NT on the sex appeal. I also get tired of PCism in historical movies. (Aw, how nice, women actually were sexually liberated in the middle east in the 12th century.)

    The movie was ok, but it tried to do too much. It was too PCish for me too. The storyline was choppy and underdeveloped and Orlando has fake tits. The best scene by far was the battle in the snow and it was short, choppy, and pointless. In fact, its funny how all the battles they fight are completely 100% pointless. Lets review:

    Battle 1 - kill a bunch of people in the snow because they asked to do something they were allowed to do. This was by far the most justified battle.
    Battle 2 - kill a brown guy because he gets mad at you for tresspassing
    Battle 3 - Attack a huge army with like 30 guys just so you can save a few camels. Oh, and you lost so it didn't help
    Battle 4 - fight to defend "not the walls, but the people." Battle ends by the arabs letting you walk away. Like you couldn't have at any time.

    I was also amused by one of the scenes where the Christians were discounting religion and one of the knights (who was wearing a huge white cross at the time) says "I don't put much stock in religion, personally" and then launches into a discussion of how religion is irrelevant and we should all hold hands and be friends.

    Still better than most of the crap they make. At least it looked good.

    Garbad
     
  5. Madness

    Madness IncGamers Member

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    Personally, I really enjoyed the movie.
    I loved the king's character. I wish they hadnt taken his mask off at the end, his exposed hand was symbolic enough for me.
    I think living here, and watching the movie made for an unusual experience for me. It was nice to place the locations.
     
  6. mexicanoloco

    mexicanoloco IncGamers Member

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    hmm..I havent seen it..but from what I here Orlando bloom doesnt quite fit as his character...I just cant picture him giving out encouraging battle speeches...while I think from the way viggo mortensen acted in the LoTR trilogy he would have been better...
     
  7. jimmyboy

    jimmyboy IncGamers Member

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    Liam Nielson was one of the better actors. He's more believable. There's alot of humanism in him. Too bad he's so old otherwise he would have gotten the lead part.

    Olando was ... feminine. Hard to see him in a leading role in an action film. He's not much different from Hugh Grant, except more boysish (if that's possible).

    Yes, the ending was illogical. But I didn't want to give away any spoilers. And I don't understand why they always bring in King Richard III for a cameo apprearance for Middle ages films.

    But I think people will enjoy it.

    Oooh, the jewish princess (hehe) was hot!!! All right everyone, go see the movie and come back and settle it between Garb and me.
     
  8. SelfBaisResistor

    SelfBaisResistor IncGamers Member

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    Hey he was a great Jedi.
     
  9. Necrolestes

    Necrolestes IncGamers Member

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    May is Bloomin' Out All Over

    And a great sex researcher too.

    I haven't seen the movie and I don't really plan to. Orlando Bloom just doesn't have enough power to carry a movie as a lead...he's kind of like Ben Affleck that way (great support, lousy lead). Liam Neeson and Jeremy Irons are two of my favorite actors but I still can't bring myself to spend money on this movie (gotta save something for Star Wars!)
     
  10. PublicEnemy

    PublicEnemy IncGamers Member

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    It's not quite my taste, I wish I had seen more dead muslims during battles.
    Why did the muslims need to cut crusaders' heads ? They did it because they were more cruel people than the crusaders.
     
  11. nosoup4crr

    nosoup4crr IncGamers Member

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    Actually, I think the movie did a good job of portraying the Crusaders to be more cruel than the Muslims. First off, there were instances where crusader's cut off the heads of muslims as well. Secondly, it's part of jihad ritual to cut the head of your enemy off. This is what they actually did during Saldin's reclaiming of Jeruselum.

    Something that the directors hinted at but didn't really develop was the role of children in the crusade. In one of the opening scenes, children were present at Messina, on the way to the holy land. Children did actually fight. In fact, after the 3rd crusade, there was a subsequent rebuttle where Roman Catholic officials insited the Children's war, where they told countless numbers of Orphans that they were going to march on the Holy Land, and the light of god would "Shine down and protect them." It ended up that more than half of THOSE children were just sold into slavery by those Catholic officials. But hey...you only have so much movie.

    Isn't it also interesting that there's no story anbout how Richard III was in jail before his march?
     
  12. PublicEnemy

    PublicEnemy IncGamers Member

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    Which is unforgivable,when it's justified by their Islam.
    Killing,beheading in the name of a religion is worse than just doing it without a reason.
    I am amazed that a so called peaceful religion requires to do that.
     
  13. Namyeknom

    Namyeknom IncGamers Member

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    Richard III? Was it Sean Connery?

    'I object! I won't let this wedding go ahead until I've felt up the bride...'
     
  14. CyberHawk

    CyberHawk IncGamers Member

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    I just saw this tonight..I thought it was pretty good. Worth seeing. If I gave Gladiator a 10, this would be a 8+ of Scott's movies. Tho this was more inspired by actual events.
    But ya..enjoyed it, and will see it again when it comes out on DVD.

    The only thing I couldn't figure out was..what ever happend to the Christian King guy..you know the one with the funny hat riding a donkey?
     
  15. Isolde212

    Isolde212 Banned

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    I also saw it tonight. I found the movie entertaining but Orlando Bloom in that role was not very convincing. Pretty to look at though. Overall, I would give it an 8 on entertainment level and about a 4 on intellectual level. You could totally tell where the plot was going but then again I find that with a lot of Ridley Scott movies. They are highly predictable.
     
  16. Ash Housewares

    Ash Housewares IncGamers Member

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    Richard III was the last of the Plantagenents in the late 15th century

    carry on...
     
  17. texaswolf

    texaswolf IncGamers Member

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    Movie isn't very historically accurate at all. It sucks really. Why make a historical piece if you aren't going to follow how the events really happened?
     
  18. Ash Housewares

    Ash Housewares IncGamers Member

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    how is it inaccurate?
    be certain to mark spoilers if you respond
     
  19. texaswolf

    texaswolf IncGamers Member

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  20. rikstaker

    rikstaker IncGamers Member

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    1.Absurd. 2.Agree. 3.Absurd.

    Rik
     

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