Just because it isn't physical doesn't mean it's not abuse <

nnndave

Diabloii.Net Member
Just because it isn't physical doesn't mean it's not abuse

Ok, now this isn't the stupidest, but it is definately pushing the bar for one of the worst commercials I have ever seen.

It starts out with two 15 year old girls sitting in Sally's room talking and giggling. All of a sudden one girl's phone rings and the music goes dim and a sweep of horror fills the room. "Hello?" The victim asks. The stern and ghastly voice of John on the other end asks, "Hey, where are you". Filled with terror and confusion, she replies, "I'm at sally's house... yes..... I swear, its only me and her.... YES.... *click*" Her friend looks over at her as if she is scarred for life. "Was that John?" "Yes.... *sniff*". Her life is ruined, all of a sudden, a penetrating narrorating voice comes up in the backround saying "Just because it isn't physical doesn't mean it isn't abuse.... do something" as the portrait of the two tortured girls fades into the terror of the viewer's memories.

Ok, I'm gonna give them the benifit of the doubt and not sacrifice them of the sheer stupidity of the commercial and criticize what they are actually getting at. Apparently poor little miss 15-year old is a victim of abuse because Johnny calls her to make sure she isn't becoming a tramp. He wouldn't have called her and wouldn't have second guessed her if she hadn't done it before, so you already know she's a shady leprechaun. I don't see what John is doing wrong. He is worried about her and he's showing her he doesn't put up with her ****ing aruond. SHE on the other hand is talking **** about him with her stupid friend and living her life in fear that the unthinkable might happen.... johny... doesnt... belive... her!!!! OH NO!!! CALL THE ABUSE POLICE!!!

Hey, *****! Why don't you tell your oh-so-beloved John what you and your friend say about him behind his back, since everything is based around trust and honesty right?

Commercials like this destroy the meaning of abuse. What do you think a slave-wife in saudi arabia would think when she finds out 15 year old girls in america are filing cases of abuse because thier boyfriends call them? So now any man who does this to his girl friend ABUSES her??? Screw that and screw them, there are people getting legitametly abused out there and these people are making it look like they want nothing more than to say they are getting abused because it will make them look cooler and people will feel sorry for them because they are nothing more than fragile, high maintanance, insecure mugwumps.

Save the abuse stories for the real ones, and go back to talking on your 200 dollar cell phone with 500 weekday minutes.
 

Steel_Avatar

Diabloii.Net Member
When I read your description of the advert, I see a guy calling this young girl and checking up on who she is with and what she is doing. Moreover, she seems to be quite frightened of this individual. It doesn't sound like a simple case of me calling my significant other and saying, "Hey what's up?"


I think you're seeing what you want to. Imprinting your own biases, turning the girl into something to be reviled so you can try and make your point.

What you are doing is intellectually dishonest.
 

Ash Housewares

Diabloii.Net Member
nobody call anybody!!

at the same time, while you argue that his distrust is a result of her past actions, could we not also conclude that her fear is a result of his past actions?
 

DurfBarian

Diabloii.Net Member
What Steel said. If she's panicking at the sound of his voice on the phone there's more being portrayed than a simple conversation. Use your damn brain when you watch TV, at least if you're going to try and write an essay about it later.
 

nnndave

Diabloii.Net Member
Steel_Avatar said:
When I read your description of the advert, I see a guy calling this young girl and checking up on who she is with and what she is doing. Moreover, she seems to be quite frightened of this individual. It doesn't sound like a simple case of me calling my significant other and saying, "Hey what's up?"


I think you're seeing what you want to. Imprinting your own biases, turning the girl into something to be reviled so you can try and make your point.

What you are doing is intellectually dishonest.
Ok this is as closely as I can remeber to the actual commercial, with all my "intellectual honesty".

The phone rings, she answers. The camera is glued on her face the whole time, and you only hear HER words, you hear nothing of the guy. Not only was it terribly non convincing, but fake. The girl says into the phone, "I'm at sally's house...... yes i promise!..... No I'm not with him........ i promise!!........... yes, its only me and her............ok bye.

Dead serious, that's how stupid it was.
 

Plum

Diabloii.Net Member
How can you be so sure of the meaning of the piece, Dave? Perhaps "John" made some threats on the other end, which would certainly constitute an emotionally abusive relationship in my opinion.

The message seems to be slightly hazy based on the information that you've offered, so I hesitate to think that the commercial is very well done. However, due to its lack of clarity, how can you possibly pass such definitive judgement on it? It seems almost as though you had your mind made up on what you perceived the subject to be even before the ad was complete.
 

Steel_Avatar

Diabloii.Net Member
I find it fitting that you, nnndave, automatically assume that the male must have done no wrong whatsoever, and that she must be some kind of 'tramp', as you put it.

I don't find that stupid at all. I think that it is a reasonable if slightly exaggerated example of emotional abuse.
 

nnndave

Diabloii.Net Member
DurfBarian said:
What Steel said. If she's panicking at the sound of his voice on the phone there's more being portrayed than a simple conversation. Use your damn brain when you watch TV, at least if you're going to try and write an essay about it later.
Maybe, but how many people watching king of the hill at 6pm are going to report their 15 year old scary phone calling boyfriend for abuse?

They should make a commercial like this:
John tells Sally to get the car fixed while he's gone, he comes back to find out she spent 200 dollars for a tire rotation.... *horrifying look*.... just becuase she got a 1420 doesn't mean she's not a stupid ditz... do something.
 

nnndave

Diabloii.Net Member
Ok, look. I'm not trying to argue about Johnny and Sally's catastrophic history. We already know how much relationships matter when you are 15.

The second half of my post was my main point.
 

Steel_Avatar

Diabloii.Net Member
So because some people have it worse somewhere else, we can't complain about what's happening here?

Everyone being subjected to abuse deserves to have such a burden lifted, no matter the degree. And to be quite honest, the average citizen can't do a whole lot for women in Saudi Arabia, whose government by the way YOUR beloved Bush supports, or at least tolerates. But we can do things for women (and men, they do exist) who are here.
 

nnndave

Diabloii.Net Member
Steel_Avatar said:
So because some people have it worse somewhere else, we can't complain about what's happening here?

Everyone being subjected to abuse deserves to have such a burden lifted, no matter the degree. And to be quite honest, the average citizen can't do a whole lot for women in Saudi Arabia, whose government by the way YOUR beloved Bush supports, or at least tolerates. But we can do things for women (and men, they do exist) who are here.
Ok i'm just gonna ignore how rediclous that Bush drive by was. (I never knew by supporting Bush I'm contributing to suffering of women in saudi arabia *runs off to vote for Kerry*)

If its not bad enough to sit through stupid commercials I also have to watch more "Blame the male first" crap. Don't pretend like you dont' know what they are doing here. Its going to cause every stupid 15 year old out there to scream abuse every time she cain't handle her emotions and deal with problems for herself. Abuse is abuse, not stupid highschool drama.
 

Anakha1

Banned
I'm going to take a middle ground here and say that Steel is right in that it looks like John or Jimmy or Bob or whatever the hell that guy's name was is committing emotional and psychological abuse on her by being controlling. It's not his job, nor his right, to make sure she's not "acting like a tramp" (which is a very poor choice of words, dave, and rather insulting). It's a free country, and if she's upset, which she obviously is, at his insistance of her whereabouts and who she's with, than Jimbob has already gone too far.

On the other hand, it sounds like the commercial was poorly done and rather vague. They could have gotten their point across a bit better in their choice of dialogue.
 

Painman

Diabloii.Net Member
First off, it's just a commercial on TV. I think we all know that these use lots of innuendo and best/worst-case scenarios to make their point.

Second, a lot of women really do find themseves in abusive relationships, physical and/or otherwise. Personally I attribute much of it to low self-esteem and I attribute much of that to social conditioning that still goes on, mainly in lower-income parts of the country where I've spent much of my life.

"But that's just my opinion... I could be wrong."
 

Ash Housewares

Diabloii.Net Member
I think the commercial would've been more effective in a msg board flaming context, but I guess they can save that for the "just because it's not verbal" commercial
 

Damascus

Diabloii.Net Member
Anakha1 said:
On the other hand, it sounds like the commercial was poorly done and rather vague. They could have gotten their point across a bit better in their choice of dialogue.
Something that tells me a commercial that just says "Verbal abuse is bad, mmkay?" doesn't have the same impact.

I figured it out by watching it. You don't need to be a rocket scientist to figure out what the meaning of it was.
 

Anakha1

Banned
Damascus said:
Something that tells me a commercial that just says "Verbal abuse is bad, mmkay?" doesn't have the same impact.

I figured it out by watching it. You don't need to be a rocket scientist to figure out what the meaning of it was.

That's not what I was saying at all.

I meant that the girl's lines could have sounded a bit more worrisome than what she said. I can figure it out too, if I saw it, so don't be condescending. The point is that her words didn't make the scene out to be all that serious, especially since we can't hear him.
 

Steel_Avatar

Diabloii.Net Member
May I point out that for everyone who is saying that the commercial is poorly or vaguely done, we're relying on nnndave's description. I think I can safely say that he's not exactly giving us an unbiased description.

Look at his first post, where he calls the girl a tramp and generally inserts his own biases to make his point. I wouldn't exactly be surprised to find that nnndave is relaying the commercial in the same way. Now, I'm not saying he's deliberately misleading us. I'm saying that everyone sees what they want to see, and we need to take that into account when we rely on what is essentially hearsay when we are judging the commercial.
 

dantose

Diabloii.Net Member
I think nnndave is right that associating "scary phone calls" with abuse undermines legitimate abuse cases both physical and emotional. the dude might be an *** but that is worlds away from nailing her cat to a 2X4 and staking it in her front yard.
 
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