jokes!

asdf

Diabloii.Net Member
jokes!

Scientists at Rolls Royce built a gun specifically to launch dead chickens at
the windshields of airliners, and military jets, all traveling at maximum velocity. The idea is to simulate the frequent incidents of collisions with airborne fowl to test the strength of the windshields. American engineers heard about the gun and were eager to test it on the windshields of their new high-speed trains.

Arrangements were made, and a gun was sent to the American engineers. When the gun was fired, the engineers stood shocked as the chicken hurled out of the barrel, crashed into the shatterproof shield, smashed it to smithereens, blasted through the control console, snapped the engineer's back-rest in two and embedded itself in the back wall of the cabin, like an arrow shot from a bow. horrified, they sent Rolls Royce the disastrous results of the experiment, along with the designs of the windshield and begged the British scientists for suggestions.

Rolls Royce responded with a one-line memo:
"Defrost the chicken."
 

SaroDarksbane

Diabloii.Net Site Pal
Alrighty, I just saw this one, so I guess I'll post it. One sided political joke, but it's quite funny nonetheless:
A man in a hot air balloon realized he was lost. He reduced altitude and spotted a woman below. He descended a bit more and shouted, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don`t know where I am."

The woman replied, "Your are in a hot air balloon approximately 30 feet above the ground. You are between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude."

"You must be a republican," said the balloonist.

"I am," said replied the woman. "How did you know?"

"Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I am still lost. Frankly, you`ve not been much help so far."

The woman below responded. "You must be a democrat."

"I am," replied the balloonist, "but how did you know?"

"Well," said the woman, "you don`t know where you are or
where you are going. You have risen to where you are due to a
large quantity of hot air. You made a promise, which you have no idea
how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. The fact is you
are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now,
somehow, it`s my fault."
 

Ash Housewares

Diabloii.Net Member
*throws Saro to the wolves*

I don't believe a word of it, no mention of him looking down her blouse? poppycock!
 
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