Diablo IV, Diablo 2 and Diablo 3 Forums - Diabloii.Net
Hi spfers.
I love you guys, and you've always been there for me in the past, so I'm here to get a few things off my chest, and hopefully feel a bit better.
I'm hesitant to type this, because I'm becoming afraid that I might hurt myself, but please understand I'm getting help.
Long story short, I graduated back in college with an engineering degree, and went straight into a corporate job. At first, I was really happy. College was very stressful for me, and corporate life is comparatively much easier. That said, my job isn't really stimulating at all. A lot of times, I sit at my desk for 8 hours reading this forum, reddit, and watching youtube. I can only work from home when I'm sick or can't otherwise make it to the office. I almost never have enough work to fill 40 hours a week. I look forward to leaving at the end of the day and coming home to my roommates.
However, the last two weeks or so, I haven't found any joy outside of work either. My routine is getting stale, and I'm not finding anything that can replace that routine, and I'm sorta stuck in a rut. I used to love video games. Now I don't, and I'm finding myself doing more or less nothing for hours after I come home. I might read for an hour, watch netflix for an hour, etc. Then I go to bed, wake up the next morning, and do it all over again. Then comes the weekend. Friday night/saturday morning are about the only time I'm reasonably happy. I might go out with a friend, see a movie, sleep in a bit. By about noon, I'm bored again, and the rest of the weekend is a slog.
Now, part of it is that last summer I was rock climbing a ton, which I find very rewarding. Unfortunately, it hasn't been warm enough to climb recently. I'm seriously hoping I'm just going stir crazy. But then I start thinking about it, and I'm like "I don't even feel like going right now".
So yeah, I'm starting to get the feeling that the things in my life that I used to find meaningful aren't meaningful anymore, and it scares the crap out of me. If I can't find meaning in my life, why live? At first, that thought was fleeting, but today while I was bored to death at work, that thought started to consume me. And it hasn't really left since. What the heck is the point of living if none of it is meaningful? If I'm just going to have 80 more years of nothing meaningful, then I have no desire to keep living. To put it succinctly, if every week is like the past couple weeks have been, I don't want to live. And that scares the **** out of me.
I love you guys, and you've always been there for me in the past, so I'm here to get a few things off my chest, and hopefully feel a bit better.
I'm hesitant to type this, because I'm becoming afraid that I might hurt myself, but please understand I'm getting help.
Long story short, I graduated back in college with an engineering degree, and went straight into a corporate job. At first, I was really happy. College was very stressful for me, and corporate life is comparatively much easier. That said, my job isn't really stimulating at all. A lot of times, I sit at my desk for 8 hours reading this forum, reddit, and watching youtube. I can only work from home when I'm sick or can't otherwise make it to the office. I almost never have enough work to fill 40 hours a week. I look forward to leaving at the end of the day and coming home to my roommates.
However, the last two weeks or so, I haven't found any joy outside of work either. My routine is getting stale, and I'm not finding anything that can replace that routine, and I'm sorta stuck in a rut. I used to love video games. Now I don't, and I'm finding myself doing more or less nothing for hours after I come home. I might read for an hour, watch netflix for an hour, etc. Then I go to bed, wake up the next morning, and do it all over again. Then comes the weekend. Friday night/saturday morning are about the only time I'm reasonably happy. I might go out with a friend, see a movie, sleep in a bit. By about noon, I'm bored again, and the rest of the weekend is a slog.
Now, part of it is that last summer I was rock climbing a ton, which I find very rewarding. Unfortunately, it hasn't been warm enough to climb recently. I'm seriously hoping I'm just going stir crazy. But then I start thinking about it, and I'm like "I don't even feel like going right now".
So yeah, I'm starting to get the feeling that the things in my life that I used to find meaningful aren't meaningful anymore, and it scares the crap out of me. If I can't find meaning in my life, why live? At first, that thought was fleeting, but today while I was bored to death at work, that thought started to consume me. And it hasn't really left since. What the heck is the point of living if none of it is meaningful? If I'm just going to have 80 more years of nothing meaningful, then I have no desire to keep living. To put it succinctly, if every week is like the past couple weeks have been, I don't want to live. And that scares the **** out of me.