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Is pornography more harmful both to yourself and your partner, than beneficial?

Discussion in 'Off-Topic' started by raffster, Sep 14, 2006.

  1. raffster

    raffster IncGamers Member

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    Is pornography more harmful both to yourself and your partner, than beneficial?

    I was originally contemplating to make this a poll but I felt that everybody's view of pornography is extremely personal so trying to squeeze in the possible choices would be very limiting.

    I used to be a firm believer that pornography was beneficial provided that it benefited both parties. But after realizing what I did during this time I am spending apart from my wife, I am deeply convinced that pornography is destructive because its feeds on selfishness and satisfies lust. That no matter how much one tries to make an excuse that pornography is okay and if it's ever harmful, it only harms the person engaged in it. After many years of being addicted to pornography I finally embraced my addiction and let it go. It is very difficult but with spiritual strength it is possible.

    Your thoughts on this?

    PS: Please make this a mature discussion. The nature of this thread requires replies that will not make you look like an ID 10 T, please.
     
  2. grimreaperofsouls

    grimreaperofsouls IncGamers Member

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    You are a better man than I, for every man and i'm pretty sure women, all lust to see the opposite sex unclothed. I believe that it is harmful in ways that should not be discussed on this forum, however i will say this, pornography is such a powerful stimulant that when you look at it, you don't care about many other things, it creates fantasies about what love really is and is one of many things that can destroy a beautiful thing like having intercourse with one's life partner. I am trying to break my habit because it can only destroy, not create.
     
  3. Yaboosh

    Yaboosh IncGamers Member

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    Like everything else in life, moderation is the key.
     
  4. Cannon Fodder

    Cannon Fodder IncGamers Member

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    I think of pornography the way I think of many things seen as detrimental. It is potentially harmful. I see it as a very personal thing also, and for me therein lies the rub. It is an individual's view of pornography and mental state that determines the effect it will have on them. For someone who can approach it from the right angle, I think it is a perfectly healthy thing. Unfortunately, many people do not approach it from that angle or are unable to.

    I'm trying to think of something comparable, and gambling comes to mind. Gambling in itself is not a bad thing. However, addiction to it or allowing it to control/effect your life is. Someone playing the lottery for fun every once in a while is not negatively effected. Someone losing their life savings in a casino is. For me, that doesn't make the activity wrong or bad, just potentially harmful. It requires a certain angle of approach to be a positive or neutral influence on someone's life.

    Just because pornography satisfies lust or feeds into selfishness does not mean that it creates either one. Sex itself satisfies lust, and that simply means that some sex may be inadvisable as a result, but not all sex. A selfish or lustful person will fulfill those impulses in their lives in some way, be it through pornography or elsewhere. Whether or not it actually is pornography is immaterial. How pornography works for you is a purely individual thing, and while it may be bad for an individual at a certain time in their lives or always, that does not mean that it is bad for all individuals.
     
  5. Dondrei

    Dondrei IncGamers Member

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    I don't think there's anything intrinsically harmful about it. Anything if done obsessively can be bad (or not; obsession isn't necessarily bad, it's all subjective). Of course if you're doing it and your partner doesn't want you to then you have to have some serious discussion; same as with anything.

    I don't see why "satisfying lust" is "destructive". Or even behaving selfishly.
     
  6. Dondrei

    Dondrei IncGamers Member

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    Gambling is a lot worse than pornography, porn doesn't cost anything. Unless you're an idiot...
     
  7. HockeyChic

    HockeyChic Banned

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    My ex-husbands porn cost him plenty. He always made sure he had enough cash left over for his drug du jour, but I can't even begin to imagine how much all of his videos and magazines cost. He had it hidden every where and any where he could think of.
    Yes, I believe porn can be hazardous to a relationship. I think it depends on how porn is viewed within the relationship though.
    As I said, my ex hid his. Any moment I happen to be out of the house he was getting stoned and getting off. I even woke up early one Sunday morning to find him masturbating on the living room floor while watching a video. It wasn't a pretty sight. He took his activities a bit further though. I didn't find out until recently that he frequented prostitutes while married to his first wife (I was the 2nd), His obsession with it was a huge problem for me. Here I was 19, tight skinny little body, willing to do just about anything to please her new husband in anyway I could. . .and he chose porn over me. And when I say he chose it over me, I mean instead of me. We would go for weeks with out sex because he was getting what he needed out of his other outlets. I didn't understand it then, don't understand it now. It had always been my experience that men would prefer a living, breathing, moving (and whatnot) girl over artificial means, but apparently not him.
     
  8. Xenon[XoA]

    Xenon[XoA] Banned

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    As long as it's not uhm.. embracing a weirdass deviant fetish, i dont see how it'd be harmful. Furries ftL. Lolipedo's, and tentacles ftl too. If its addiction, you can become addicted to pretty much anything - so that within itself wouldn't be such a solid reason to advocate against it.

    Unless it's a frequency issue. Sore #11 wouldn't be any good for either you or your partner =/
     
  9. PatMaGroin

    PatMaGroin IncGamers Member

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    People still buy videos and magazines? I thought that was why they invented the internet.
     
  10. raffster

    raffster IncGamers Member

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    Sorry to hear that, hockeychic. When my wife finally opened up about what she thought of my addiction to porn, it was ugly. I felt the pain she felt and it cut right through my soul.

    I recently read a very powerfuly written book on pornography called "The Silent War" written by Henry J. Rogers. I'm sure you probably don't care about your ex anymore after what you've been through but if he's really a sex addict, perhaps it is advisable that you buy this book for him.

    Just a point of clarification for those who have said that pornography is okay as long as it is taken in moderation. How can there be moderation for lust and selfishness? I don't mean to start a flame war here but really, how can things that are intrinsically destructive be regarded as okay for as long as they're done in moderation?

    I also don't think that pornography can be likened to gambling. Go to a casino play a few rounds and lose some money (moderate) is it equal to buy a Playboy magazine and masturbate (and hopefully not get caught) by your partner?
     
  11. {KOW}Spazed

    {KOW}Spazed Banned

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    Raff you might want to get a copy of this.
     
  12. PatMaGroin

    PatMaGroin IncGamers Member

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    Reported. Advertising is against the rules of this forum.
     
  13. Stompwampa

    Stompwampa IncGamers Member

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    Are you serious?
     
  14. Isolde212

    Isolde212 Banned

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    Porn...I think everyone I know has divulged in this dirty little habit. I have but more out of intrigue than anything else. It doesn't really bother me at the moment. If it became a thing that came into my relationship in a negative way, I would probably address it. I can't imagine what it would be like to be set aside over something that you can't touch or feel. I think it would make me very insecure and feel like I wasn't what was originally wanted.
    I guess the closest thing I ever felt to that was when Annie and I first got together. He had a bad habit of checking other girls out which I really didn't have a problem with. He's a man and he has eyes and well it's natural. It bothered me what he was looking at. It was always teeny tiny petite women with blonde hair and big boobs. It always made me feel like that was his "ideal" woman and like that was what he really wanted me to look like. Now we have a deal. If he's gonna check out girls he checks them all out not just the barbies. I guess if I would feel the same way if he was watching the same thing in a porn all the time. Is that what you want me to do? You want a pornstar? Am I not good enough? I guess I see how that could be destructive.
     
  15. Stompwampa

    Stompwampa IncGamers Member

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    I posted this site link in a different thread. Yes, the site attacks pornoagraphy from a Christian standpoint, but here are a bunch of facts, that are not religiously slanted.
     
  16. PatMaGroin

    PatMaGroin IncGamers Member

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    You should never have to ask someone with the handle 'PatMaGroin' if he is serious.
     
  17. Stompwampa

    Stompwampa IncGamers Member

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    Agreed.

    Are you kidding? :rolleyes:
     
  18. PatMaGroin

    PatMaGroin IncGamers Member

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    You should never have to ask someone with the handle 'PatMaGroin' if he is kidding.
     
  19. Stompwampa

    Stompwampa IncGamers Member

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    Agreed.

    *can't think of another stupid witty question*


    umm...

    Jesus loves you! :thumbsup:
     
  20. mhl12

    mhl12 IncGamers Member

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    i think with these days, most people (especially teens) have looked at porn willingly at least once. It's kinda like an unspoken rule to either not to talk about it or just to joke about it. I know this girl (who I happen to like) who suddenly decided to talk about pornography more openly. And then this summer, she decided to close her gmail account because so much adult content spam was passing the spam filters into her inbox (now out of the years i have had gmail, i have yet to see a single spam email reach my inbox)

    I personally dont think that pornography is beneficial when you're in a healthy relationship with a girl/boyfriend. It's breaking a trust. But I don't think that pornography in teenagers' lives will change anytime soon because no one seems to want to talk about it seriously.
     

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