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I wish I was a Necromancer.

Discussion in 'Necromancer' started by xXDonVonXx, Jun 7, 2005.

  1. xXDonVonXx

    xXDonVonXx IncGamers Member

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    I wish I was a Necromancer.

    Imagine being able to just explode the body of a recently departed squirrel, only to send the closest things around it ablaze with the raw power at the despence of a necromancer.
    I often find myself daydreaming of the cool tricks you could do if you had the powers of the necromancer. To make skeletons do your mundane day to day work, such as mowing the lawn, washing the dishes, making your bed, and taking out your competition to a possible promotion position(just kidding).
    My opinion was this would be a cool conversation topic, lets let our minds wander in what we could do with the abilities of the mighty necro.
     
  2. Aradhai

    Aradhai Banned

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    Whatever this is, it is unusual and a refresing taste of difference. Is it supposed to be a poem? Thanks for posting,
    Jake
     
  3. xXDonVonXx

    xXDonVonXx IncGamers Member

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    I just thought it would be fun to discuss what it would be like to be a necromancer in the real world, in a fun reading way. Thanks for appreciating it.
     
  4. Arkuss

    Arkuss IncGamers Member

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    Ya Man.

    Ya i agree with you being a necro would be awesome. but why only skeletons? I would poison nova everyone who pissed me off then bone spirit them. And i would make an army of skeletons and mages and cows. I would go to a cow farm kill them all and revive them to be evil cows like in
    The Secret Cow Level. Then i would make a fire golem and terrorize the world. And i would have some of the curses like decriptify so i can slow down everyone who dares to run away from my wraith and then i will slap them silly.
    Then after im done slapping i will kill them and go kill George F. (this word rhymes with gag) Bush and take over the U.S and then make all the nuclear missiles blow up in there silos. Then I will go take over South Korea and start a communist revolution and the whole world would be equal!

    Ya being a necromancer would be great.
     
  5. Snowglare

    Snowglare Fan Fiction Forum Moderator

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    This topic is better suited to the Necromancer forum, so I'm moving it there.
     
  6. vagrantrogue

    vagrantrogue IncGamers Member

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    curse thee =)

    could i cast attract on pretty girls without getting attacked? that would be pretty cool. :thumbsup:
     
  7. distancepieman

    distancepieman IncGamers Member

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    Perhaps you could use the attract/confuse combo and make them fight for you...Or use weaken to lower their standards!

    Or, you could DV them, then woo them with sweet poetry until you won them over, but then when the DV wore off they'd see you and scatter, like you cast terror on them...
    (Joke not meant to be taken seriously, just trying to toss in some other curses, cause they're so cool.)

    But yeah, there are deffinetly a couple people I wouldn't mind hurling some teeth or a bone spear at.

    ~Bails
     
  8. Pherdnut

    Pherdnut IncGamers Member

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    Well, corpse explosion is not a very good party trick and is not likely to win you many new lady friends, but all you'll ever need to do is smoosh a moth or something if you're stranded in the woods and you need a fire.

    Blasting things with skulls and bonespears is a neat trick but it wouldn't take long before the army came after you. I think it would be best to summun/unsummon clay golems a lot and start a clay company manned by a very cheap labor force. I could simply cast confusion on the IRS every time I got audited for not filing any W2s.

    In this manner I could lead a profitable life safely assured that if anyone ever tries to mug me they will shortly be confronted by a very pissed off iron golem made from their own weapon.
     
  9. dys0r

    dys0r IncGamers Member

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    Who needs an army if you can cast the undead curses, such as Confuse, Attract or Terror? Then, if you happen to get caught in the act, cast Decrepify as you speed away with your loot!

    - Ter
     
  10. Clarke667

    Clarke667 IncGamers Member

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    I wish I was a necromancer; but deep inside, don’t we all?

    It’s just you and me, here. We can talk about this. Don’t worry, I won’t tell a soul.

    Because we all hate the world. Right? Maybe just a little bit. Maybe we all get that whisper in our bellies, like a moth’s wing brushing our stomach lining, that all the world amounts to—when you get right down to it—is something strangely akin to a bad deal on a used car, every day. We wake up each morning to a planet that looks more and more like a dead fax machine graveyard; it has that sharp ozone smell of fried cathode tubes and firecrackers. You get the feeling it’s all spiralled out of control and no one has the guts or the balls to stop it.

    Right?

    So you wish you were the kind of creature that could suck the light out of a neon billboard. You want all the cemeteries to rupture and spill naked corpses and muddy bones into the street. You wish you had slaughterhouse eyes, bloodshot like a Jackson Pollock painting, yeah; you wish you could snort black sulphur from your nostrils in bitter, sedimentary jets; the kind of archaio-nuclear beast that post modern tribes living in the deepest darkest Tupperware jungles tells stories about to scare their anaemic children.

    You know that every embryo is a jelly-timebomb, T minus 80 years if you’re lucky. You’ll spend half of that time sleeping.

    So you wish for the streetlamps to short out as you walk by them. You wish bank machines would go haywire at your touch, the LED displays sputtering ichorous green ash. This 21st Century Necromancer; you know that in order to raise the dead, you must first kill everything.

    Right?

    And in the end, when your plague spreads the world like a funeral pall, and every last inch in covered by it… every city, down to every house, down to every room from kitchenette to dinette to all the other ‘ettes, down to every appliance, a Phnom Penn killing-field of microwave ovens and blenders and countertop deep fryers… when every last bit of this festering toadstool of a world has been sucked clean like a peach pit… well, then you can stitched it all back together again, right? Your own Frankenstein America. Reanimated France. Zombie Germany.

    In the Dead Tongue, they had a saying: Fiat experimentum in corpore vili. Roughly translated, it means, “Let the experiment be performed on a worthless body.â€

    That sort of applies across the board, wouldn’t you say?

    But—barring a worldwide holocaust—I think I’d settle for having some skeletons mow my lawn. Yeah, that’d be pretty sweet.

    Right?
     
  11. vagrantrogue

    vagrantrogue IncGamers Member

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    that's a good point, but now that i think about it, i rather bone prison them all and make them my slaves! :mad:

    i think i'd make a darn good sheriff. werd.
     
  12. distancepieman

    distancepieman IncGamers Member

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    @ Clarke, fantastic, that's all I can say.

    @vagrantrogue, slavery is bad. use your powers to make them want to serve you. That should be much more rewarding.

    ~Bails
     
  13. xXDonVonXx

    xXDonVonXx IncGamers Member

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    dude that was beautiful

    You hit the nail on the head, this is the awsome work of wrighting I was trying to inspire. You are quite talented with your keyboard dude.
    You have my applause
     
  14. xXDonVonXx

    xXDonVonXx IncGamers Member

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    Yeah you're right lol. Sorry.
     
  15. Beatboxer

    Beatboxer Member

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    You's guys is crazy. :p

    What a funny visual. :lol:


    If I was Necro; that would indeed be fun.
    I would take my time knowing that all would be fine,
    And I would summon an army of Skeletons and start a rock band.

    That was a poem.


    I saw a dead bird on the way home today...I could have exploded that. lol
    That would have been crazy.

    I could kill bugs with my bone spear. (with practiced aim..)


    Actually, just yesterday, I was thinking about how practical it would be to be a Necro on a battlefeild. A very viable combat mode that would be. Bodies strone about everywhere and all losses, on either side of the battle could be used to your gain. You could win wars, it would be ultra great. (in war context of course.)
     
  16. rawrj

    rawrj IncGamers Member

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    hehe, it would like the perfect crime too, just throw some teeth and bone spears and slay michael jackson, then corpse expolde his body, BOOM!! no more corpse and no evidence

    MUHAHAHAHAHAHA cough cough awwww man i need to go the docter about that cough


    heheh j/k
     
  17. xXDonVonXx

    xXDonVonXx IncGamers Member

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    Yeah totally man, I could see some great careers in the army as a necromancer. it would quadrouple your forces. Revive your sides dead, and revive, thier sides dead wich is doubled from our doubled dead forces. As long as the necromancer stayed alive ultimately we would win. Since there are not many elemental attacks today (flamethrower=fire stun gun=lightning bioweps=poison [although very frowned upon in battle]) bone armor would yeild you invulnurable to almost any gun, any attack, anything!those "elements" would need to get really close to kill you, which would be difficult with all your own army to help you out.

    Air defence:
    Bone Spirit
    Bone Spear
    Mages

    Ground Defence:
    Poison Nova
    Poison Explosion
    Skellies
    Revived
    Golem(fire golem would send terror through anyone's hearts)
    any curse

    There would be no stopping you. You could take over the world if you wanted. (This is why humans can't have these powers, we are evil beings. lol)
     
  18. Mana

    Mana IncGamers Member

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    First thing I would do is take out the competition. Any other necromancer spellcaster etc. Then I'd just do whatever because then nothing could stop me after all the major threats are taken care of ;p (This is ofcourse from a strategical I hold the world in an Iron Golem Fist kinda perspective.)

    Or I just use suptile curses on people that deserve it and watch that for a living while making wagers with people and winning through suptle curse use and other what nots ;p Such as "A pigeon will chop down that tree there"(for example) revives a pigeon and makes it do so. "You will come to school naked" As he gets out of the car cast confuse then have skeletons strip him then let the curse wear off and set him about. ;p As long as you make a few bets on these every once in a while you'll make money ;p better yet...

    Go to a casino and dimvision the security cameras then confuse everyone as you rig up every thing ;p Or the easy way just bounty hunt people in foreign country's for money using a golem to do everything so they can't trace anything back to you :uhhuh:

    Mana

    Ps. Yes I know I'm just blabbering on about things I would like to do and trying to make it some what meaningful :uhhuh:

    Edited for spelling error and Ps.
     
  19. Jek

    Jek IncGamers Member

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    I wish I was a necromancer so I could be pale, have a white mullet and wear red pants all day long!
     
  20. Mad Mantis

    Mad Mantis D2/3 Necromancer & Witch Doctor Moderator

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    Threads of this kind are normally made in the [Off-Topic] The Graveyard: Eventually Everyone Ends Up Here. thread. Since it came in from another forum and seems to be going well I’ll let it be. Amusing to read.




    What is stopping you?
     

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