Huh. How 'bout That?

Steel_Avatar

Diabloii.Net Member
Huh. How 'bout That?

My dad's mother just passed away tonight. I'm sad for my dad, but strangely I'm not at all upset personally. My grandmother was always distant for me; my dad's side of the family has always been a bit dysfunctional, and my mom and myself and my brother were never 'Chinese enough' for her.

I feel a little bit guilty, that I should be feeling more. But she and I were never close. I saw her maybe twice or three times a year, if that. And she was quite old, and this was expected. I'm just sad for my father.

Maybe I'm just looking for someone to tell me that it's okay for me to feel this way. Maybe I need someone to tell me that I'm not some sort of horrible monster for not being broken up that my grandmother just passed away.
 

DurfBarian

Diabloii.Net Member
It's perfectly fine. :) If you were feeling terrible about this we'd offer you our condolences (which I do anyway, by the way) and our wishes that you can get over the mourning and begin remembering her fondly soon . . . and it sounds like you don't need to worry about that first part of the equation and won't need to worry about the second.

I do hope your family is doing all right. It remains sad news even if you personally aren't wrecked by it.
 

BasTyra

Diabloii.Net Member
Of course it's ok Steel, you weren't very close to her so it's understandable you aren't torn up about it.
My grandmother recently had a stroke and I find myself in a similar situation of feeling odd that I don't feel more. It's perfectly natural though.
*hugs*
 

KnightFall

Diabloii.Net Member
I'm sorry to hear that Steel_Avatar.

I don't know if you saw the thread I made a week or so ago on a similar topic? I had the same kind of distant feeling when my Grandfathers died too. I think it must be a natural in-built defence to losing someone. Your mind numbs it out or something.

I think what hurt me most was seeing how much my parents suffered too.

KnightFall
 

bobmarley

Diabloii.Net Member
Steel_Avatar said:
My dad's mother just passed away tonight. I'm sad for my dad, but strangely I'm not at all upset personally. My grandmother was always distant for me; my dad's side of the family has always been a bit dysfunctional, and my mom and myself and my brother were never 'Chinese enough' for her.

I feel a little bit guilty, that I should be feeling more. But she and I were never close. I saw her maybe twice or three times a year, if that. And she was quite old, and this was expected. I'm just sad for my father.

Maybe I'm just looking for someone to tell me that it's okay for me to feel this way. Maybe I need someone to tell me that I'm not some sort of horrible monster for not being broken up that my grandmother just passed away.
That is quite alright actually. The same thing happned to me 3 Years ago. My grandmother passed away but I wasn't really sad. She lived in a different country so I would only see her when I went on vacation there. I felt sad for my father.
 

nrabbit

Diabloii.Net Member
nothing wrong there if you ask me. its sad hearing such news but thats life. my grandmother passed away last winter and i didn't feel too bad although we met regulary
 

ROMVS

Diabloii.Net Member
I grew up with my grandparents so naturally I should be sad when they passed away, unfortunately it's hard to feel the loss when they are in another country. It's almost like my brain telling me that they are not dead but rather away on vacation or something since I didn't see them die. When my maternal grandmother passed away though before my cousin's wedding, that hit me like a ton of bricks because I saw her lying on a slab and knew she will never be back...
 
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