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Huh. How 'bout That?

Discussion in 'Off-Topic' started by Steel_Avatar, Jun 17, 2005.

  1. Steel_Avatar

    Steel_Avatar IncGamers Member

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    Huh. How 'bout That?

    My dad's mother just passed away tonight. I'm sad for my dad, but strangely I'm not at all upset personally. My grandmother was always distant for me; my dad's side of the family has always been a bit dysfunctional, and my mom and myself and my brother were never 'Chinese enough' for her.

    I feel a little bit guilty, that I should be feeling more. But she and I were never close. I saw her maybe twice or three times a year, if that. And she was quite old, and this was expected. I'm just sad for my father.

    Maybe I'm just looking for someone to tell me that it's okay for me to feel this way. Maybe I need someone to tell me that I'm not some sort of horrible monster for not being broken up that my grandmother just passed away.
     
  2. DurfBarian

    DurfBarian IncGamers Member

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    It's perfectly fine. :) If you were feeling terrible about this we'd offer you our condolences (which I do anyway, by the way) and our wishes that you can get over the mourning and begin remembering her fondly soon . . . and it sounds like you don't need to worry about that first part of the equation and won't need to worry about the second.

    I do hope your family is doing all right. It remains sad news even if you personally aren't wrecked by it.
     
  3. BasTyra

    BasTyra IncGamers Member

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    Of course it's ok Steel, you weren't very close to her so it's understandable you aren't torn up about it.
    My grandmother recently had a stroke and I find myself in a similar situation of feeling odd that I don't feel more. It's perfectly natural though.
    *hugs*
     
  4. KnightFall

    KnightFall IncGamers Member

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    I'm sorry to hear that Steel_Avatar.

    I don't know if you saw the thread I made a week or so ago on a similar topic? I had the same kind of distant feeling when my Grandfathers died too. I think it must be a natural in-built defence to losing someone. Your mind numbs it out or something.

    I think what hurt me most was seeing how much my parents suffered too.

    KnightFall
     
  5. bobmarley

    bobmarley IncGamers Member

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    That is quite alright actually. The same thing happned to me 3 Years ago. My grandmother passed away but I wasn't really sad. She lived in a different country so I would only see her when I went on vacation there. I felt sad for my father.
     
  6. nrabbit

    nrabbit IncGamers Member

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    nothing wrong there if you ask me. its sad hearing such news but thats life. my grandmother passed away last winter and i didn't feel too bad although we met regulary
     
  7. ROMVS

    ROMVS IncGamers Member

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    I grew up with my grandparents so naturally I should be sad when they passed away, unfortunately it's hard to feel the loss when they are in another country. It's almost like my brain telling me that they are not dead but rather away on vacation or something since I didn't see them die. When my maternal grandmother passed away though before my cousin's wedding, that hit me like a ton of bricks because I saw her lying on a slab and knew she will never be back...
     

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