How do you handle things that are final?

zodiac66

Diabloii.Net Member
How do you handle things that are final?

After two years, today Steve came to pick Samara up without the "permanent" bracelet I got for him years ago. Even after two years..that little thing upset me.

I wish he would have done this much earlier. It would have been so much easier if he just would have done that little thing 2 years ago.

I guess this is the final dissolution of our relationship. Even though I would not want to be with him again..to see something that meant so much at one time gone really hurts.

Why does a little thing like that hurt? We have been apart for so long and I never gave him a second thought. We are still friends..he helps me with Linux and I let him see Sam whenever he wants. We email all the time. I don't love him.

Why do I feel so sad?
 

Dutchman

Diabloii.Net Member
Because logic rarely comes into close contact with feelings. I wouldn't worry about it hon, take it as proof that your feelings at the time were genuine and strong, rather than some vague indication that they might still be lurking.

Dutch
 
Dutch got it.

Feelings are strange, love most of all. I don't care how long people are apart or how much they say they don't like each other anymore, there is always an underlying connection that can still tug on heart strings even if they are out of tune.
 

zodiac66

Diabloii.Net Member
Yeah..today I am really feeling that.

I really have felt no love for years. In fact, all I felt was distaste.

But to see that gone just made me sad.

That on top of another failed relationship type of thingy..just made me spiral downwards.

I am destined to be alone or dead.
 
It sounds like even though you don't love him, there's still some sort of dependancy on him. His removal of the bracelet is one more sign to you that he isn't there for you
 

zodiac66

Diabloii.Net Member
Evil Conservative Inc said:
It sounds like even though you don't love him, there's still some sort of dependancy on him. His removal of the bracelet is one more sign to you that he isn't there for you
Of course there is a dependancy..we have Samara.
 
Nothing much really tends to effect me. Probably one of the saddest times in my life, my grandfather dying from Leukemiea made me unhappy, but I realized that I knew him well, enjoyed him, and looked up to him. There really isn't any point in moping around. I can't really see the point in dwelling on it day after day.
 

zodiac66

Diabloii.Net Member
Funny thing, I tore down a few walls recently. They are stronger and higher than before. I will never let another person in my life again. It is just not worth the pain.
 

superdave

Diabloii.Net Member
zodiac66 said:
Funny thing, I tore down a few walls recently. They are stronger and higher than before. I will never let another person in my life again. It is just not worth the pain.
note to self...bring extension ladder. :flowers:
 

llad12

Diabloii.Net Member
zodiac66 said:
Funny thing, I tore down a few walls recently. They are stronger and higher than before. I will never let another person in my life again. It is just not worth the pain.
Damn Zodi ... :undecided: Don't shut the door on everyone. There are good people out there who may bring joy & happiness into your life. Give them and yourself that chance.
 

Drosselmeier

Diabloii.Net Member
In my experience you're never completely rid of feelings. They just make themselves known less and less often as time passes. You'll probably miss him every once in a while ten years from now too, if you see some thing that reminds you of some moment when things were good.

The easiest way to get rid of those feelings to the greatest possible extent is to find someone new to fill that room and distract you. Nothing brings out memories like spending time with yourself.
 

Sokar Rostau

Diabloii.Net Member
You could always try freeing yourself with a symbolic 'ceremony' to end things.

Find something that symbolizes your feelings or memories of those feelings (a photo, coffee cup, t-shirt... ). Ponder the item and the memories attached to it, project everything you want to free yourself from into the item. Give a eulogy and then burn the item. After this is complete, scatter the ashes somewhere like you would if it was a real cremation, and let it all go.

I hope I said that right and that it makes sense to you.
 

Freet

Diabloii.Net Member
Sokar Rostau said:
You could always try freeing yourself with a symbolic 'ceremony' to end things.

Find something that symbolizes your feelings or memories of those feelings (a photo, coffee cup, t-shirt... ). Ponder the item and the memories attached to it, project everything you want to free yourself from into the item. Give a eulogy and then burn the item. After this is complete, scatter the ashes somewhere like you would if it was a real cremation, and let it all go.

I hope I said that right and that it makes sense to you.
It all made sense except the coffee cup. They don't burn too good.

Zodi,

The last thing you want to do is bury your feelings. As we all have learned from watching sitcoms, they just come out later and cause more problems.

Get to the root of what is causing this distress and do what needs done to put this behind you. We are all friends here and will be more than happy to help all we can, but you must first realize where the actual problem lies so you can confront it head on.

This might be simpler than you think. You sound to me to be a romantic sort. Romantic sorts often put more value into inanimate objects than they are actually worth. In this case, it's just a bracelet. The meaning it shared is clearly no longer valid so it is once again, simply a bracelet. Are you going to give a hunk of metal this much power over your life?

You're a smart girl. Just rationalize this and put it behind you where it belongs.
 

Stompwampa

Diabloii.Net Member
zodiac66 said:
It is just not worth the pain.

Then why were you sad to see Steve's bracelet go? Love and Pain go hand in hand, we all know that. To have one without the other is impossible.
 

bg1256

Diabloii.Net Member
Stompwampa said:
Love and Pain go hand in hand, we all know that. To have one without the other is impossible.
Well said, but with the right person, the pain is always short-lived and minimal, and it's worth it.

In time, you will be able to trust again...but for now, we all know how hard it is and are there for you.
 

Joshua

Diabloii.Net Member
"I will never let another person in my life again. It is just not worth the pain."

Wow does that sound familiar...oh wait..I said the same thing over a decade ago :rolleyes: .

But the truth is being alone sucks worse. Honestly Zodi, it can take a bit of time or the right person for that pain to go away.

Closing yourself off emotionally won't make you happy (trust me please). It will just make you bitter and waste years you will wish you could have back.

You can't die physically from a broken heart only emotionally, and only if you let yourself. Take my advice and don't let that happen.
 
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