Gripphon gave
this great response when I asked about quickly sorting through the chest drops on p8.
As to the map, it sounds pretty decent. Better can be found, but it's a question of how much time you want to spend searching for it. For example, I've got a map on my blizzsorc where there is a camp just left of the way point, and just down from the way point. This allows me to do a bit of a wonky circle of teleports and finish up back at the WP. (I've seen a few others like this on videos, wherein I got the idea to look for one) Cutting out zoning to the docks could be a big difference for you depending on your computer, or it could be fairly small like a second of extra time.
I'm not sure how big of an impact saving on carrying tomes of teleports really is in the long run, but I have a feeling the biggest difference would be if you've ever found yourself going to the vendor 'just' for teleport scrolls. However, if you're consistently filling your inventory in those 20 runs (+any TP's you pick up along the way) then I don't think that has much of an effect on your run speed overall any more than any other vendoring you do to clear space. That said, cutting down on time spend vendoring and how often you need to vendor makes a pretty big difference I found.
So, that aside, the big thing is simply minimizing the distance you have to travel. That means as much FCR as possible while still being safe. Getting used to the camp's layout so you can go through it quickly without spending much time on travelling (and/or be travelling while scanning the item drops). And lastly the positioning, where it's really up to you if you want to try for better. How easy/hard that might be I can't really speak to as I kinda stumbled into an LK map I'm very happy with and didn't have to do a bunch of rerolling. So I don't know how truly rare those uber maps really are. I've sort of assumed that the best of the best ones are rare enough that I've settled for two camps within spitting distance of the WP as the main priority.
However, if you are keeping your map, you could consider using the inventory/character screen teleport trick to cut down on your time spent teleporting, particularly for the larger distance between camps, which should make a pretty big difference, and honestly take your current travel times from "good" to "*whistle*". Offhand, gripphon's map is the best I can think of, where he's got 2 tele to the first chest and 4 to the second camp, then 1 back to the waypoint.