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Giving Away 4 Accounts (Throwing in the Towel II)

Discussion in 'Diablo 2 Community Forum' started by Subpoena, Mar 27, 2005.

  1. Subpoena

    Subpoena IncGamers Member

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    Giving Away 4 Accounts (Throwing in the Towel II)

    After all the good times I've had playing this game as well as the times I've lagged out moments after ID'ing some super unique never to find it again, I couldn't just let my booty go to waste so it's time for yet another, "I'm leaving the game, so try and get my stuff" contest.

    I have four accounts to offer, all on US East: Everything I have has been self-found but for a couple SOJ's from one of my few sojourns into trading years ago. Self found and no trading, yes, I do not have all uber gear, but I do have some goodies for you to find. Here they are:

    1) All non-ladder, mostly mules because it was my first account before I learned how to plan a character and all characters made prior to 1.09, BUT, whatever are they holding, now? I was never very organized about my mules so you never know what you'll find.

    2) All non-ladder, most characters that I have abandoned for another project but they are more or less equiped and are all pretty much mules, now, like above.

    3) The 1.10 ladder comes out and this account is about 50/50 L/NL. Many a goodie to find in the mix of playables and mules.

    4) The most recent account I started, all ladder. Only three characters there, two of which I think are just mules, but the playable . . . she has a windforce! Probably not the best pick, so I dropped that teaser. Yes, I actually found a &^%^@%^% windforce months before quiting the game after like 5 years.

    Now, for the contest: Very complicated . . . make me laugh. Tell a joke, any joke . . . the first to make me laugh out loud gets first pick of 1 to 4, the second gets the second pick, etc. So, respond with a joke and your choice-progression . . . ie, 1,2, 3, 4 and I e-mail each winner with the account name and password.

    Remember, laughter is subjective so what's funny to you may not do the trick for me and vice-versa (plus, I may have heard it before), so no nasty messages telling me how much of an jerk I was for not giving you my stuff.

    Since it's a holiday weekend, I won't decide on winners until Monday night, but first come, first served!

    Thanks, everyone, for the years of entertainment and DII wisdom!
     
  2. superdave

    superdave IncGamers Member

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    there is a stickied giveaway thread for posts like this...aragorn likes to see them go there....most that are not placed there are locked...i am sure he would move this post if you pmed him....laughing yet??

    good luck with your giveaway...it seems like there are too many players calling it quits
     
  3. Midi

    Midi IncGamers Member

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    A husband and wife are lying beside each other in bed one night. The wife turns to her husband and says "I want to make you the happiest man on earth. The husband replies "I'll miss you!"
     
  4. CookiesnCream

    CookiesnCream IncGamers Member

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    Well I want to tell a joke anyways :). Here's my favorite joke:

    There were these parents and they had a boy and one day they decided to go to a nude beach, when they get there, everyone was naked so the family takes their clothes off and go their separate ways. A few minutes later, the boy comes back to his mom and asks "Mommy, why do some men have a bigger wiener than dad's?" the mom replied with "Well the bigger it is, the stupider the person." The little boy said "Ok" and went off to play again. A little while later, he comes back and asks "Mommy, why do some women have bigger breasts than you?" The mom replied with "Well, the bigger they are, the stupider the person is." The youth replied with "Ok" and ran back onto the beach. A little while later, he comes back and tells his mom "Mom, Dad's talking to the dumbest Lady on the beach and the more he talks to her, the dumber he gets."
     
  5. black mamba

    black mamba IncGamers Member

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    Three women are about to be executed. One's a brunette, one's a redhead, and one's a blonde. Two guards brings the brunette forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests.

    She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready . . . Aim . . ."

    Suddenly the brunette yells, "earthquake!!"

    Everyone is startled and looks around. She manages to escape.

    The angry guards then bring the redhead forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests.

    She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready . . . Aim . . ."

    The redhead then screams, "tornado!!"

    Yet again, everyone is startled and looks around. She too escapes execution.

    By this point, the blonde had figured out what the others did. The guards bring her forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests.

    She also says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready . . . Aim . . ."

    The blonde shouts, "fire!!"
     
  6. tinncann25

    tinncann25 IncGamers Member

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    A group of girlfriends is on vacation when they see a 5-story hotel with a sign that reads: "For Women Only." Since they are without their boyfriends and husbands, they decide to go in.

    The bouncer, a very attractive guy, explains to them how it works. "We have 5 floors. Go up floor by floor, and once you find what you are looking for, you can stay there. It's easy to decide since each floor has a sign telling you what's inside."

    So they start going up and on the first floor the sign reads: "All the men on this floor are short and plain." The friends laugh and without hesitation move on to the next floor.

    The sign on the second floor reads: "All the men here are short and handsome." Still, this isn't good enough, so the friends continue on up.

    They reach the third floor and the sign reads: "All the men here are tall and plain."

    They still want to do better, and so, knowing there are still two floors left, they continued on up.

    On the fourth floor, the sign is perfect: "All the men here are tall and handsome." The women get all excited and are going in when they realize that there is still one floor left. Wondering what they are missing, they head on up to the fifth floor.

    There they find a sign that reads: "There are no men here. This floor was built only to prove that there is no way to please a woman."
     
  7. Cooked

    Cooked IncGamers Member

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    There are these four Catholic Moms sitting around bragging about their sons.

    First Mom..."My son is a priest, when he walks into a room everyone says "Father""

    Second Mom.."Well..My son is a Bishop, when he comes into a room people call him "Your Grace""

    The Third Moms smiles and says. "My son is a Cardinal and when He walks into a room everyone says "Your Eminance!""

    So the three Moms look at the Forth Mom..."Well?" they say......

    The forth Mom smiles and says...." My son is a hard body, Chippendale stripper. When He walks into a room eveyone says "Oh my God!!!""


    The 'Mod is God' and will lock this thread I guess when he wakes up this morning but there are some funny jokes here. Did I win? PM me with the account and pass then (anyone is fine IF I got one)? I will talk to you in the Giveaway thread.

    Good hunting!
     
  8. ArchAngel Tiberrius

    ArchAngel Tiberrius Banned

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    God speaks to St Peter (the doorman of Heaven) and states too many people are making their way through the pearly gates.

    "Peter. I want you to ask the newly arrived about the day they died, and determine whether they had a bad enough day to enter Heaven."

    The first day on the job, St Peter saw a man of mid thirties walking towards him.

    "You must tell me about your day of death, and if I find it regretful I can allow you to pass" St Peter says.

    "Well." Starts the man. "I believed that my wife was cheating on me. So this after I left for work I went and had a coffee and read the paper. Then nearing my lunch break I went back to my apartment on the 25th floor. I walked in and saw my wife, naked on the bed and I knew she'd been cheating on me.

    I looked everywhere but couldn't find the man. I happened to look out onto the balcony and saw a pair of hands gripping the rail. I looked over and sure enough, there he was, bold as brass waiting for me to leave. I stomped on his fingers and watched him fall 23 floors before a tree broke his fall. When he landed he wasn't dead so I looked for something to drop on him.

    The first thing I could grab was the refrigerator which I hauled over the side and flatened the adulterer. I was so happy I jumped and screamed and had a heart attack."

    St Peter thought long and hard, and decided to admit the man.

    Six hours later a well muscled man in his thirties turned up to the Pearly Gates and was asked the same question.

    "I live on the 26th floor of an apartment building, and was completing my daily excercise routine. This involves me balancing on the balcony rail to improve my balance. Today I slipped and was falling to my death, but luckily was able to grab hold of the floor downs balcony rail.

    Before I could do anything, a madman kicked in the door and screamed at the very attractive female who was laying naked on the bed. He looked about the room and then came out onto the balcony.

    He stomped on my fingers and watched me fall 23 floors before I hit trees and then the ground. I had never felt so much pain in my life until I saw a refrigerator plumeting towards me."

    St Peter looked at the man and found it hard not to laugh, so he quickly admitted the man.

    Six hours later a strutting young man of his early twenties arrived and was duly asked the same question.

    "My day started off quite well. I was enjoying the wonderful company of a very attractive married lady. However, her husband came home. Which was not the worst of it. I decided to hide in the refrigerator..."

    Mule number 4 would be wonderful! Thank you for the giveaway, and best of luck in your future endevours.
     
  9. itsPizzarific

    itsPizzarific Banned

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    if i win, id like mule 4 most, then mule 3 but i dont play nl much anymore so you can save mule 1 and 2 for someone else if thats all thats left

    well, all of these have made me laugh quite hard .. then again i laugh at everything so this will be tough. this one was told to me by a friend i might online while gaming, it might not be exactly as it shouldbe but its close enough, thanks for the giveaway though :)

    there are three mothers waiting in line at see a psychologist. they are obsessed with something but they just cant figure out what. they each have their one child with them.

    the first mother steps up to the doctor.

    the doctor says, "you are obsessed with money, because you named your daughter penny."

    the first mother nods slowly .. and walks away.

    the second mother steps up.

    the doctor tells her, "you are obsessed with flowers, since you named your daughter rose."

    the second mother smiles, and walks away.

    then, the third mother says to her child, "come on Dick, lets get out of here"
     
  10. VTACC

    VTACC IncGamers Member

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    Hmmmm

    The perversity of human nature can hardly be better illustrated than through the observation that the only thing that makes people warier than asking them for something is offering to give them something
     
  11. Midi

    Midi IncGamers Member

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    My order of choice would be Acct# 3 then 1 or 2.
    I should have read further last night and seen that part.

    There are some good ones posted.
     
  12. WOWTHATWASFAST

    WOWTHATWASFAST Banned

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    O/T wait a minute, my giveaway thread has been closed but this one hasnt? lol maybe gorn didnt see this yet or he has a specific reason.

    on topic: i play on west so i dont need but some jokes here are pretty funny, esp the cookiesncreams one hehe
     
  13. Dawnmaster

    Dawnmaster IncGamers Member

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    If you read the main thread well, you should know why this one is allowed to stay.

    Only a few exceptional OT can be made in the community forum at one time, for that, you have to ask the permission from Gorny via Pm.

    @all: nice jokes :D
     
  14. XxXJuzAnotherAznXxX

    XxXJuzAnotherAznXxX IncGamers Member

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    umm

    whats the similarity between michael jackson and caviar?

    they both COME on little white crackers


    [email protected]

    if i win haha

    anyways any one would make me happy

    blah tried my best
     
  15. sjw7

    sjw7 IncGamers Member

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    I went on holiday recently and took a flight with BA. It was terrible. He kept shouting 'Shutup foo'. 'I aint getting on no damn plane'
     
  16. Dawnmaster

    Dawnmaster IncGamers Member

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    I'm not taking part in the contest, just taking this oppertunity to post some jokes :D

    A man is lying in bed in the hospital with an oxygen
    mask over his mouth.
    A young nurse appears to wash his hands and feet.
    "Nurse...," he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my
    testicles black?"
    Embarrassed, the young nurse replies: "I don't know,
    I'm only here to wash your hands and feet."
    He struggles again and asks the nurse again : "are my
    testicles black?"
    Finally, she pulls back the covers, raises his gown,
    holds his penis in one hand and his testicles in the
    other, takes a close look and says there's nothing
    wrong with them....."
    Finally, the man pulls off his oxygen mask and
    replies: "That was very nice what you just
    did......but please........for the last time......
    Are-my-test-results-back ! ! ! ?"

    Several men are in the locker room of a golf club.
    A cell phone on a bench rings and a man engages the
    hands free speaker-function and begins to talk.
    Everyone else in the room stops to listen.
    MAN: "Hello"
    WOMAN: "Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"
    MAN: "Yes"
    WOMAN: "I'm at the mall now and found this beautiful
    leather coat. It's only $1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?"
    MAN: "Sure, go ahead if you like it that much."
    WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and
    saw the new 2005 models. I saw one I really liked."
    MAN: "How much?"
    WOMAN: "$125,000"
    MAN: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the
    options."
    WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing. The house we
    wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking
    $1,950,000."
    MAN: "Well, then go ahead and give them an offer, but
    just offer $1,900,000."
    WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you!"
    MAN: "Bye, I love you, too."
    The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are
    looking at him in astonishment.
    Then he smiles and asks: "Anyone know who this phone
    belongs to?"

    *Friendship among women:
    A woman doesn't come home at night. The next day she tells her husband she slept at a friend's house. The man calls to 10 of her best friends, none confirms the story.
    *Friendship among men:
    A man doesn't come home at night. The next day he tells his wife he slept at a friend's house. The woman calls to 10 of his best friends, 8 confirm that he indeed spend the night there, 2 claim that he's still there.

    Hope you guys enjoy them as much as I did :D They are some of my personal favorites :lol:
     
  17. DaBone

    DaBone IncGamers Member

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    Why did the Turkey cross the road?


    To prove he wasnt chicken. :clap:


    Man, that one kills me :lol:
     
  18. DaBone

    DaBone IncGamers Member

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    Taking a wee break from the golf course, Tiger Woods drives his new
    Mercedes into an Irish gas station.


    An attendant greets him in typical Irish manner, unaware who the golf pro
    is...


    "Top o' the mornin to ya".

    As Tiger gets out of the car, two tees fall out of his pocket.



    "So what are those things, laddie?" asks the attendant.

    "They're called tees," replies Tiger.

    "And what would ya be usin 'em for, now?" inquires the Irishman.


    "Well, they're for resting my balls on when I drive," replies Tiger.

    "Aw, Jaysus, Mary an' Joseph!" exclaimes the Irish attendant.
    "Those fellas at Mercedes think of everything...
     
  19. 5Ws

    5Ws Banned

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    How many Super Saiyans does it take to screw a lightbulb?
    1, but it'll take 3 episodes.
     
  20. space_loner

    space_loner IncGamers Member

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    For the ironic less-than-three-liners:

    What's brown and sticky?
    A stick.

    A man walks into a bar...
    Owch!

    P1: Help me! I'm seeing spots!
    P2: Have you see a doctor?
    P1: No just spots.

    What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
    Anyone can roast beef.

    P1: Help! Someone stole my car!
    P2: No worries, I got his license number.
     

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