Girl problems! So, yesterday I hit my girlfriend in the face with a shovel, and now she won't talk to me! I don't know why! I tried calling until my cellphone battery went dead, went to her house at 2 AM and started knocking on her door until the cops came, (they must have been on a routine patrol or something) and sat outside her work for 9 hours until she got out. Now today I get some sort of note from someone who says that I'm not supposed to come within 500 yards of her. I think he just wants her for himself! He even made it look like it was some sort of document from the state or something. Well, no made-up "restraining order" can stop my love! She says I'm crazy, but I know I'm not! What do I do?!?!?!?!
Looks like you didn't hit her quite hard enough. Next time you better eat your wheaties. (I'm confused on whether this thread is offensive or funny?)
ok, so we're definitely hijacking this sucker, what you guys wanna talk about? edit: well it surely isn't funny, and I'm not offended, if you want offensively funny stuff we're gonna have to come up with it ourselves
Replace her batteries, or failing that buy yourself a Mr T in your pocket and forget all your troubles. Rock on.
I hope this is intended as sarcasm because if it is then I laughed my *** off and all's sad and done. However, if this is not a joke I got two words you should hear ...................... seek therapy
What? This thread is devolving even further from the slime it started off as. I hope it's closed soon.
Only on account of villainy! P.S. Sensitive Sally, it was an intended typo reffering to SNL's Celebrity Jeopardy, oh and here's some tissues for when you watch the sunset.
well I can't help it if nobody will follow my hijacking quest, any thread begun with a miserably failed attempt at humor can only lead to trouble unless we take immediate corrective action!
Oooohhh no! Its the thought police! Everyone think of Margerat Thatcher naked on a cold day! ITS OUR ONLY CHANCE!!!!!!!!!!!
That's therapist you idiot! [/alex voice] Just one more hour then sweet sweet sleep. . . this thread should be about sleep. . . or beer. . . how about sleeping with beer? To loosely qoute Wally "I'm not worried about aliens. If they try and read my mind they will all go blind." Same concept applies to the thought police.
I didn't realize that's what he was trying to say. Now it makes sense, as does his reaction to my post. My apologies, TurdF. Thanks for the tissues. -SS-
First off, you all know that such questions should have been posted in the relationship FAQ. I suggest leaving dead animals on her doorstep. it works for cats, right?
A new topic eh? How about...flaming dog poo and the human response or business ethics perhaps... EDIT: Celebrity jeopardy is the best..."then the day is mine!"
and if there is any attempt to cheat, especially with my wife, who is a dirty, dirty tramp, I'm just going to lose it
Or we can talk about recent dining experiences. For instance, today I decided to visit the new restaurant here in town, namely the Panera Bread. I must assert that, despite all the hype and fanfare surrounding this place, the dining experience overall was a let down. The food was ok and the service/atmosphere was horrific. The place is very poorly layed out and a guy comes on the loudspeaker every 20 seconds or so and screams out that someone's order is ready. Anyone else eat at this panera bread?
The industrial revolution changed the face of the american novel for years to come, explain.... You see, the puppy "society", was lost and no one knew where to find them...
