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Garlic for Vampires, Pig Fat for Muslims

Discussion in 'Off-Topic' started by MixedVariety, Feb 13, 2004.

  1. MixedVariety

    MixedVariety Banned

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    Garlic for Vampires, Pig Fat for Muslims

    I read this article today and found it to be rather funny:
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    Rabbi Urges Pig Fat on Buses to Stop Bombers</FONT>



    JERUSALEM (Reuters) - A prominent Israeli rabbi has proposed hanging bags of pig fat in buses to deter Muslim suicide bombers who may want to avoid contact with an "unclean" animal, an Israeli official said on Thursday.

    The idea -- suggested by Rabbi Eliezer Fisher, a rabbinical judge, in a letter to police -- signaled the extremes to which some Israelis may be willing to go to stop Palestinian bombers who have killed hundreds of Israelis in recent years.

    Judaism, like Islam, considers pigs unclean. But the ultra-Orthodox rabbi has ruled that special dispensation can be given for placing bags of lard in buses and public places in an effort to prevent attacks.

    Police had no immediate comment on the proposal.


    Asked about the deterrent capability of pig fat on Israeli buses, Palestinian sources called it an exercise in futility.


    Islamic militants are told by those who send them on bombing missions that their souls enter Paradise instantly after they explode despite any contamination or defilement of their bodies.


    "It's not a problem if it saves lives," Israeli Deputy Public Security Minister Yaakov Edri said, referring to the breaking of Jewish religious law.


    "I personally support it," Edri told Reuters. "If it can deter even one suicide bomber -- then wonderful. Security authorities must consider it."


    An article on the rabbi's proposal published on the Web site of the Israeli newspaper Maariv drew dozens of e-mail responses from readers ranging from incredulous to complimentary.
    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    If only we had had the forethought to hang gigantic bags of pork lard from the World Trade Center buildings...
     
  2. Steve_Kow

    Steve_Kow Banned

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    At least we know McDonalds is safe!

    Doesn't it get quite hot in Israel? I can imagine the stench.
     
  3. maccool

    maccool IncGamers Member

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    Wouldn't the bombers get a special dispensation to blow themselves up in the vicinity of said lard?

    I can see it now, a lard/dispensation race the likes of which mankind has never seen.
     
  4. cleanupguy

    cleanupguy IncGamers Member

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    When a person has one thing and one thing only on his/her mind, which is to kill other human beings for his/her cause, I highly doubt such will hinder him/her in carrying out this ultimate act of hatred.
     
  5. Underseer

    Underseer IncGamers Member

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    Just when you thought that conflict couldn't possibly get any more bizarre...

    [Emeril voice]Pork fat rules![/Emeril voice]
     
  6. Indemaijinj

    Indemaijinj IncGamers Member

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    Wouldn't smearing ourselves with the fat of unclean animals give the fanatics an even better reason to cleanse us by "holy fire" (and not the wimpy D2 sort at that).
     
  7. Drosselmeier

    Drosselmeier IncGamers Member

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    I know you´re trying to bait me just because I loves my Islam MV. I´m not biting.

    You BITE ME!

    ;)
     
  8. Underseer

    Underseer IncGamers Member

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    Why go through all the trouble of finding pork fat? Couldn't they just strap a few Cajuns to those buses? If you can't find enough Cajuns, some alternatives might be: Chinese, Italians, Southerners, Japanese, Germans, Hawaiians, etc., etc.
     
  9. MixedVariety

    MixedVariety Banned

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    Interesting idea, Dross, but I am sure to not partake in the biting of you. Thanks anyway, though.
     
  10. swami

    swami Banned

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    hehe, maybe the jews can build a security fence on the buses, coz tht'd REALLY keep those bombers out. How dumb can you get.
     
  11. Anyee

    Anyee IncGamers Member

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    Number of mass bombings is declining. Not totally...but the fence isn't done yet. :)
     
  12. IDupedInMyPants

    IDupedInMyPants Banned

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    Or hey, how about not slaughtering people to steal their land, that'd be a good start. If that's not do-able, instead of hiring guys to collect pig fat and hang it on a bus, buy a metal detector and hire a guy to pat people down and make sure they don't have, you know, freaking bombs strapped to their chest.
     
  13. swami

    swami Banned

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    show me the stats baby!

    Have we had a discussion on the absurdity that is the 'security fence' yet?
     
  14. swami

    swami Banned

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    no no i have a better idea! let's fingerprint and photograph them so that after they blow themselves up and kill loads of people we can......no wait...:uhhuh:
     
  15. IDupedInMyPants

    IDupedInMyPants Banned

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    Just out of curiosity, is this going to be a manned security fence in the grand tradition of the Berlin Wall, or just a bigass fence? Is there something stopping Palestinians from hang gliding over it, digging under it, buying wire cutters, walking around it, or bombing it first before proceeding to bomb people?
     
  16. IDupedInMyPants

    IDupedInMyPants Banned

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    Well, no, you're right. That way, after they blow themselves up we'll know exactly whose family to massacre and what land to steal. ;)
     
  17. Anyee

    Anyee IncGamers Member

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    So's killing schoolchildren for peace. You have your issues, we have ours. Unfortunately, you're outbreeding us, so I guess you will eventually succeed in exterminating the Jews. Took you long enough. Tee hee. :clap:
     
  18. swami

    swami Banned

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    lol, mayhap school children were 'collaterall damage' (taking a leaf out of america's book, of course), but similarly palestinian children don't seem to be bullet proof yet, no matter how much testing the israeli army seems to be doing.

    erm...tee hee?
     
  19. Anyee

    Anyee IncGamers Member

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    You see, what happens is that the bullets ricochet off the peaceful rocks those children are throwing and accidentally smite them. Not to fear, though. Every child killed by an israeli soldier means another 10 israeli children killed by that child's older sister. It's a foolproof plan?
     
  20. IDupedInMyPants

    IDupedInMyPants Banned

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    It's not really about peace. It's about having land that's legitimately recognized as your family's since the time of the Ottoman Empire being taken away illegitimately. It's about being allowed to have electricity for 10 hours a day. It's about having large amounts of sea water pumped into your drinking supply regularly. It's about having your family randomly bulldozed under their home because somebody told somebody you might have been out past curfew. It's about being denied the right to sovereignty while the international community sips a lemonade and shrugs their shoulders at you before turning on a Friends rerun.

    You're goddamn right they'd kill any member of the oppressor population they could reach, and if you wouldn't do the same in that situation then you and your family would be an unmarked ditch waiting to happen.

    I honestly can't believe you. You think homosexuals are oppressed and Palestinians are genocidal madmen.
     

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