Garlic for Vampires, Pig Fat for Muslims

Garlic for Vampires, Pig Fat for Muslims

I read this article today and found it to be rather funny:
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Rabbi Urges Pig Fat on Buses to Stop Bombers</FONT>



JERUSALEM (Reuters) - A prominent Israeli rabbi has proposed hanging bags of pig fat in buses to deter Muslim suicide bombers who may want to avoid contact with an "unclean" animal, an Israeli official said on Thursday.

The idea -- suggested by Rabbi Eliezer Fisher, a rabbinical judge, in a letter to police -- signaled the extremes to which some Israelis may be willing to go to stop Palestinian bombers who have killed hundreds of Israelis in recent years.

Judaism, like Islam, considers pigs unclean. But the ultra-Orthodox rabbi has ruled that special dispensation can be given for placing bags of lard in buses and public places in an effort to prevent attacks.

Police had no immediate comment on the proposal.


Asked about the deterrent capability of pig fat on Israeli buses, Palestinian sources called it an exercise in futility.


Islamic militants are told by those who send them on bombing missions that their souls enter Paradise instantly after they explode despite any contamination or defilement of their bodies.


"It's not a problem if it saves lives," Israeli Deputy Public Security Minister Yaakov Edri said, referring to the breaking of Jewish religious law.


"I personally support it," Edri told Reuters. "If it can deter even one suicide bomber -- then wonderful. Security authorities must consider it."


An article on the rabbi's proposal published on the Web site of the Israeli newspaper Maariv drew dozens of e-mail responses from readers ranging from incredulous to complimentary.
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If only we had had the forethought to hang gigantic bags of pork lard from the World Trade Center buildings...
 

maccool

Diabloii.Net Member
Judaism, like Islam, considers pigs unclean. But the ultra-Orthodox rabbi has ruled that special dispensation can be given for placing bags of lard in buses and public places in an effort to prevent attacks.
Wouldn't the bombers get a special dispensation to blow themselves up in the vicinity of said lard?

I can see it now, a lard/dispensation race the likes of which mankind has never seen.
 

cleanupguy

Diabloii.Net Member
When a person has one thing and one thing only on his/her mind, which is to kill other human beings for his/her cause, I highly doubt such will hinder him/her in carrying out this ultimate act of hatred.
 

Underseer

Diabloii.Net Member
Just when you thought that conflict couldn't possibly get any more bizarre...

[Emeril voice]Pork fat rules![/Emeril voice]
 

Indemaijinj

Diabloii.Net Member
Wouldn't smearing ourselves with the fat of unclean animals give the fanatics an even better reason to cleanse us by "holy fire" (and not the wimpy D2 sort at that).
 

Underseer

Diabloii.Net Member
Why go through all the trouble of finding pork fat? Couldn't they just strap a few Cajuns to those buses? If you can't find enough Cajuns, some alternatives might be: Chinese, Italians, Southerners, Japanese, Germans, Hawaiians, etc., etc.
 
Drosselmeier said:
I know you´re trying to bait me just because I loves my Islam MV. I´m not biting.

You BITE ME!

;)
Interesting idea, Dross, but I am sure to not partake in the biting of you. Thanks anyway, though.
 

swami

Banned
hehe, maybe the jews can build a security fence on the buses, coz tht'd REALLY keep those bombers out. How dumb can you get.
 
Or hey, how about not slaughtering people to steal their land, that'd be a good start. If that's not do-able, instead of hiring guys to collect pig fat and hang it on a bus, buy a metal detector and hire a guy to pat people down and make sure they don't have, you know, freaking bombs strapped to their chest.
 

swami

Banned
Anyee said:
Number of mass bombings is declining. Not totally...but the fence isn't done yet. :)
show me the stats baby!

Have we had a discussion on the absurdity that is the 'security fence' yet?
 

swami

Banned
IDupedInMyPants said:
Or hey, how about not slaughtering people to steal their land, that'd be a good start. If that's not do-able, instead of hiring guys to collect pig fat and hang it on a bus, buy a metal detector and hire a guy to pat people down and make sure they don't have, you know, freaking bombs strapped to their chest.
no no i have a better idea! let's fingerprint and photograph them so that after they blow themselves up and kill loads of people we can......no wait...:uhhuh:
 
Just out of curiosity, is this going to be a manned security fence in the grand tradition of the Berlin Wall, or just a bigass fence? Is there something stopping Palestinians from hang gliding over it, digging under it, buying wire cutters, walking around it, or bombing it first before proceeding to bomb people?
 
swami said:
no no i have a better idea! let's fingerprint and photograph them so that after they blow themselves up and kill loads of people we can......no wait...:uhhuh:
Well, no, you're right. That way, after they blow themselves up we'll know exactly whose family to massacre and what land to steal. ;)
 

Anyee

Diabloii.Net Member
swami said:
Have we had a discussion on the absurdity that is the 'security fence' yet?
So's killing schoolchildren for peace. You have your issues, we have ours. Unfortunately, you're outbreeding us, so I guess you will eventually succeed in exterminating the Jews. Took you long enough. Tee hee. :clap:
 

swami

Banned
Anyee said:
So's killing schoolchildren for peace. You have your issues, we have ours. Unfortunately, you're outbreeding us, so I guess you will eventually succeed in exterminating the Jews. Took you long enough. Tee hee. :clap:
lol, mayhap school children were 'collaterall damage' (taking a leaf out of america's book, of course), but similarly palestinian children don't seem to be bullet proof yet, no matter how much testing the israeli army seems to be doing.

erm...tee hee?
 

Anyee

Diabloii.Net Member
swami said:
lol, mayhap school children were 'collaterall damage' (taking a leaf out of america's book, of course), but similarly palestinian children don't seem to be bullet proof yet, no matter how much testing the israeli army seems to be doing.

erm...tee hee?
You see, what happens is that the bullets ricochet off the peaceful rocks those children are throwing and accidentally smite them. Not to fear, though. Every child killed by an israeli soldier means another 10 israeli children killed by that child's older sister. It's a foolproof plan?
 
Anyee said:
So's killing schoolchildren for peace. You have your issues, we have ours. Unfortunately, you're outbreeding us, so I guess you will eventually succeed in exterminating the Jews. Took you long enough. Tee hee. :clap:
It's not really about peace. It's about having land that's legitimately recognized as your family's since the time of the Ottoman Empire being taken away illegitimately. It's about being allowed to have electricity for 10 hours a day. It's about having large amounts of sea water pumped into your drinking supply regularly. It's about having your family randomly bulldozed under their home because somebody told somebody you might have been out past curfew. It's about being denied the right to sovereignty while the international community sips a lemonade and shrugs their shoulders at you before turning on a Friends rerun.

You're goddamn right they'd kill any member of the oppressor population they could reach, and if you wouldn't do the same in that situation then you and your family would be an unmarked ditch waiting to happen.

I honestly can't believe you. You think homosexuals are oppressed and Palestinians are genocidal madmen.
 
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