Forum Crash: Lord Rahl Strikes Back!

LprMan

Diabloii.Net Member
:lol: :lol:

I love these stories, they are just so great!

I just wonder what Rahl will think if he must clear the Den of Evil once more...

:lol:
 

Stony

Diabloii.Net Member
Horrors! Kidnapped by an angel and dragged off to the Moo-moo farms, there to herd and butcher cattle for the heavenly tables. Make sure Rahl salts every side of beef with a nice sprinkling of arsenic. Angels love arsenic.

Stony
 

Kung Poo

Diabloii.Net Member
...I find it interesting that everyone thinks it's time for Darken to retire to the cow farms. He just finished Nightmare level. He's not through yet, oh no. Not through at all. For now, my friends, comes the greatest challenge, and with it... the greatest revenge.

Oh, and Nightfish, stay tuned to this thread. I've got some goodies lined up in Rahl's story that I think you'll find... interesting *mischevious grin*
 

Nightfish

Diabloii.Net Member
Hehe, 10 wild horses couldn't drag me away from here, K_P ;) Reading the stories by you and stony is bascially all the D2 I get these days. :)
 

beau_nidle

Diabloii.Net Member
Kung Poo said:
...I find it interesting that everyone thinks it's time for Darken to retire to the cow farms. He just finished Nightmare level. He's not through yet, oh no. Not through at all. For now, my friends, comes the greatest challenge, and with it... the greatest revenge.

Oh, and Nightfish, stay tuned to this thread. I've got some goodies lined up in Rahl's story that I think you'll find... interesting *mischevious grin*
Glad to hear it. I think your story is great. And really funny, and you know why? Because it's true!!! I loved the bullying of the occupants of Harrogath, fantastic. Keep 'em coming!!
 

ricrestoni

Diabloii.Net Member
Awesome "we want more so write it now" bump.

We want more so write it now.

We from the Lord Rahl's Crusaders Against Heaven's Pawn's Despotism demand that our beloved leader continue his quest!
 

Shade

Diabloii.Net Member
I am led to believe that it is an inferior copy of the game 'Half-Life', where rather than bashing stuff with a crowbar you instead have to accomplish a series of tedious missions called 'work', whilst attempting to placate a vicious villain known only as 'The Boss'.

(*note - Shade is unemployed being a student, however this does not mean that the above cannot be applied in some form :) )

The game is inherently buggy and flawed, despite its good graphics, and many people have been demanding patches, server resets and suchlike but their calls have gone ignored by the developers, Higher Power.

...anyway, good luck with the stuff you're working on K_P, and when you're done hopefully Rahl shall return to exact his vengeance!
 

LowLander

Diabloii.Net Member
Yeah, I think I came across a post somewhere that hinted K_P was fully engrossed in this game at the moment.

There are so many complexities associated with this game it's unbelievable! Besides the Boss challenge, there's also, for instance, asset management to be done (Income vs. mortgage), people management (in units called "families"), and even.... sleep! (Well, sometimes at least)

So, K_P, take it easy, and we'll see it when you're good and well ready.
 

Kung Poo

Diabloii.Net Member
*swaggers in, covered in sweat and pencil shavings*

Real Life is indeed a hard game. I just finished a side quest called Comics for Tokyopop. Supposedly, if I've done it right, I get a bunch of "money" and my "fame" meter goes up a few points. Now that I've had a chance to rest, on with the show.

Rain poured down on the miserable encampment, transforming the animal-trodden dirt into mush. Here and there, female rogues busied themselves with fortifying their gates, cleaning weapons, and sharing the latest gossip.

Suddenly, in the middle of the enclosure, the campfire roared to life. Out of the fire, several forms fell to the ground, shocking the daylights out of Warriv, the caravan leader. A hulking beast of a creature stood to survey the new surroundings, along with an Eastern warrior, several rotting skeletons, and a pale, skinny man with white hair.

Kashya, the camp's military strategist, came quickly to investigate.


Kashya: What's going on here? Who are you, and what are you doing here?

*sound of several bowstrings being pulled taut*

Darken_Rahl: .... No.... ..... No no no......

Fred: ... This place familiar to you, boss?

Golem: .... Rarr rarr ra raaar....

Rahl: I KNOW it looks like we've been here, stupid! That's because we've BEEN here!! TWICE! Don't you even remember!?

Golem: *shoulders slumped from being called "stupid"* ...Rar..

Kashya: Explain yourselves immediately, or I'll have you executed right now, outlander.

Rahl: You know, if I had 10 gold pieces for every time you've called me "outlander"--

Kashya: Prepare to attack, ladies!

Fred: Whoa whoa!! My, uh, friend here is a little confused. Can you tell us where we are?

Kashya: You're in the Rogue's camp, the last bastion of order in these forsaken lands--

Rahl: And the dead now walk the earth, your monastery has been desecrated, and Charsi's a total ditz. Sound about right?

Kashya: I... uh... yes. How'd you--

Rahl: Never mind. Why am I even talking to you? I know what I'm supposed to do. Bye.

*party walks out of camp without another word*

Kashya:... Oh yeah... he's goin' down!


Silently, the group emerged into familiar territory.

Rahl: Tyrael will wish he'd been killed in the Sin wars after I get through with him.

Fred: Can't say I blame you. I-- whoa! Check out that quill rat over there! He has, like.... 5 auras surrounding him!

Rahl: Aura schmaura. Go kill it. It's only a quill rat, you know.

*quill rat shoots a quill at Fred*

Fred: UagaahhhH!!!! *dies*

Rahl: .... *blink blink* *looks to the skies* I hate you, Tyrael.


And so, after resurrecting Fred (several times), Rahl and his "men" arrived at their destination, the Den of Evil. The beasts inside were fierce, and the fight was long. At last, every enemy was vanquished, and they all returned to the encampment.


Akara: Greetings. I am Akara, high priestess of--

Rahl: I cleared out the Den of Evil for you.

Akara: --the Sightless Eye. I--.... what? You did?? When?

Rahl: Just now.

Akara: When??

Rahl: Now.

Akara: Now?

Rahl: Now!!

Akara: .... Wow! You've restored my faith in--

Rahl: Uh huh, great. Listen, I wanted to talk to you about something.

*Rahl's eyes are fierce with intensity*

Rahl: What do you know about... the archangel Tyrael?


Lord Rahl and Akara talked deep into the night, until finally Rahl thanked her and went to his bedroll. For the first time in what felt like ages, he fell asleep peacefully. He dreamed of what he wished to accomplish, and when morning came, he awoke with a self-satisfied grin...
 

LprMan

Diabloii.Net Member
Kung Poo said:
*sound of several bowstrings being pulled taut*

Darken_Rahl: .... No.... ..... No no no......

Fred: ... This place familiar to you, boss?

Golem: .... Rarr rarr ra raaar....

Rahl: I KNOW it looks like we've been here, stupid! That's because we've BEEN here!! TWICE! Don't you even remember!?
:lol:

Poor Darken_Rahl...doomed to endless repetition :lol:

You are really good writing these stories, I just wonder how awesome your comic is

:thumbsup:
 
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