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Etdlahq Memorial Bar - your shelter from forum crashes

Discussion in 'Single Player Forum' started by Shade, Jan 28, 2004.

  1. pancakeman

    pancakeman Diabloii.Net Member

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    So I have thought it over many times, and I think I have come to a conclusion on this whole thing. And since some of you expressed interest in hearing about it, and since it would probably help to talk about it, I'm going to post it. I reserve the right to take it down for any reason at all.

    (Spoiler tags to avoid WoT):
    I think I've mentioned my sister briefly here, but probably just to say I never talk about her. It is a very long story, but we used to be very close to each other and now, well, it has been nearly 5 years since I've seen her. Ties were totally severed, communication is nonexistent, save only for a cousin supplying us with any crucial information via FaceBook. From this, I have learned that she is either married or engaged, and has a daughter, my niece. I never exactly had a say in this split, I just woke up one day and words had been exchanged and minds made up. I think this is what caused some of the problems.
    So now we jump to last Sunday, and the grocery store down the street. Me and my brother were just getting a couple things, stuff we didn't even really need. I walked in the door, grabbed a basket, and placed it upon my head, as usual. I do this 5 or 6 times a week, so I know the store so well I barely pay attention anymore. That may be why I was so take aback when I heard a barely familiar voice say my name. I looked right at her, and it actually took a moment to identify the face. That also disturbs me, since I can name on sight every president of the United States and most winners of the Tour de France. So she said hello, and I was sort of dumbfounded, but I was able to (barely) form my mouth into "hi". I have thought of what I would say so many times, if I would demand answers, or apologize, or just try to play it cool and act as though I never thought about any of it. What I managed to do was panic and look stupid. People say they were speechless, but I've never actually experience that. It isn't cool. She asked how I was, and if I was still in school, and said she had been spying on my FaceBook and that my cycling was cool. I didn't say anything. She said she had a daughter, and I had a niece, and asked if I would like to meet her, and I didn't say anything. Said niece arrived, accompanied by fiance or husband or whatever, and made small talk. This I am good at, and I returned said small talk, but still could not forge an intelligent sentence. Then, before I realized what was going on, she said it was good seeing me and then goodbye, and I walked away. I never asked her why, I never demanded any answers or any apologies, I just froze.
    So, the big question I have been processing this entire week is: Should I enforce this embargo of sorts the family has going against her? I thought of every time I could remember talking to, about, or even near her, searching for any reason that I should have walked away from her. I found none. As far as I could tell, the issue basically boiled down to my mom vs my sister, and I was caught in the middle. So what do I do? I am considering some sort of clandestine contact, but I don't know what would happen if I were to be caught. I don't know what to do, and I can't silence the idea that I should have said something, whether it was to yell at her or say something mushy or just anything at all. All I know is that my brain hurts, and I no longer want to be alone with my thoughts, all that gives me is an endless loop or serious questions and big problems that I cannot solve.

    tl;dr - Pancake is a wuss who writes overly dramatic crap and thinks people will read it.

    Dew please. WoT complete. Trainer time, maybe I can ride until all this stuff goes away.
     
  2. kestegs

    kestegs D3 Monk Moderator

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    Well, if it was me (and with the brief info I have) I would do whatever my heart wants to do and not worry about what my family thinks. You are capable of deciding weather you want a relationship with someone or not. I have a similar situation with some of my family, so I can understand how it can be difficult. Hope you can figure out what you want to do.
     
  3. Smips

    Smips Diabloii.Net Member

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    *poke*

    What is this EMB and what does it do?

    *poke*
     
  4. corax

    corax Diabloii.Net Member

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    @PCM: Without knowing the full story, i can't really comment. However from what you've given us I would say see her again and see how it goes from there.

    You'll always regret it if you don't give it a chance.


    hail smips *hands beverage* welcome to the bar *kicks shins*


    muahahaha
     
  5. Kaysaar

    Kaysaar Diabloii.Net Member

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    Here are my two cents Pancake, for what they're worth. From what you've told us, it would seem that it's worth it for you to reconnect with her. There will be a time when your siblings make up the bulk of your family, and like corax said, you'll regret it if you don't give it a chance, especially given how close you said you were. Good luck!
     
  6. Drystan

    Drystan Diabloii.Net Member

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    Tried to post last night, but my internet connection is :censored:ed.

    Pancake:
    Like everyone else has said, you seem to want to see where that path can take you. And from what you've given us, it's definitely worth seeing her again, and getting to know a bit about each other. At least that way, you'll have an answer.
    Go with what you want to do, not what you think others want you to do. If anyone else has a problem with it, do your best to ignore it. It's their problem, not yours.

    Corax: I train parkour in Melbourne CBD usually with a group, or just by myself near where I live for some basic technique/strength/conditioning. What I've learnt is you don't always need infrastructure (although it never hurts!) Part of it is just learning to move, balance and develop strength/conditioning.
    I can't recall what your question was initially, but I know it was something about where.

    *ties Smips to the lounge chair, along with a preferred drink and some munchies*
     
  7. pancakeman

    pancakeman Diabloii.Net Member

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    Thank you all for your advice. It does mean quite a lot, knowing that you guys are older than me and probably know what it's like to regret something like this. I hadn't thought of it, but if I were to realize one day that I had not talked to my own sister for ten years, I would definitely have quite a few regrets. In the more immediate future, what if she were to miss my graduation? Or my first winning race? Why should I miss her wedding, or, in the future, she miss mine? I'd rather deal with trouble now than regrets later.
    To this end, I have utilized James Bond-esque techniques to find contact information, and in time I will send an email. I haven't the slightest idea what I will say.

    Dew please. Almost sleepy time, but I have some stuff to do for school before that happens. Oh, and by the way...
    *puts one drop of Super Glue™ on bar stool under Smips*
    What can I get you, now that you are here for a while?
     
  8. corax

    corax Diabloii.Net Member

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    which leads me to wonder. how old is everybody?

    @drystan: i went and watched a course up here in townsville and it was basically people running along the beachfront jumping knee high walls. it was very thrilling.
    Not that it couldn't be, just that up here there is not a great deal of places in which to do it.
     
  9. DaveW

    DaveW Diabloii.Net Member

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    Man I am so drunk right now. ........
    What up fellas?
     
  10. corax

    corax Diabloii.Net Member

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    I've just returned from a victorious hordes outing thus i shall have a beer and watch kevin costners robin hood.

    today i also saw scott pilgrim, toy story 3 and pirahna. discuss.
     
  11. queenEm

    queenEm Diabloii.Net Member

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    I loved Toy Story 3. Robin Hood is an old favourite (ahh.. memories from high school romances... Sweeeeet)

    The Russel Crowe Robin Hood (if you are planning on seeing it) was really good the first half. After that it just turned ridiculous. Not even Cate Blanchett could save it
     
  12. Fast Eddie

    Fast Eddie Diabloii.Net Member

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    @Corax: I miss film marathons like that. Scott Pilgrim looks bad. I presume you mean the new Pirahna? I've only seen Toy Story 3 from that list. I shed a tear at the end.

    There was a rich man from Nottingham who tried to cross the river... The new Robin Hood looked terrible, and I can't stand Cate Blanchett. She nearly ruined LOTR for me. I haven't watched many new films recently, I've watched Godfather 1+2 and The Matrix 1+2, all for the first time ever. Still have both part threes to watch.

    Thinking about watching Machete later, if only to see Danny Trejo in a starring role. Anyone heard anything about it? I also want to rewatch 500 Days of Summer, as I love Joseph Gordon-Levitt.
     
  13. kestegs

    kestegs D3 Monk Moderator

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    Well I'm old, at least I FEEL old. I'll be 28 at the end of the month.

    Every time you say townsville it make me think of the powder puff girls show.

    The only movie of those I have seen is Toy Story 3, and yes it is a tough one not to cry at the end.

    I should Utube some Parkour (sp?) the only time I have seen it is a few seasons back on The Office.


     
  14. Fast Eddie

    Fast Eddie Diabloii.Net Member

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    I'm 26 and life was a whole lot different than it was eight months ago, let alone when I was 18.

    I don't think The Office's representation of Parkour will give you an accurate image of the sport :p I love that episode.
     
  15. pancakeman

    pancakeman Diabloii.Net Member

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    @corax: It sounds like free-running would call for a lot of core training, to get that balance. So maybe do some of that when you aren't jumping knee-high walls? Oh, and Toy Story 3 is win. I thought it was easily better than 2, but not as good as the first. And the end did make me cry a little, but luckily I was able to hide it from my brothers who were with me.
    @FE: I'd like to see 500 Days, but mostly because I have a pretty big crush on Zooey Deschanel. Even though her acting style seems mostly to be "act like you aren't acting". And +1 to the Cate Blanchett hating. Her Eowen was just corny and pretentious.

    @all: I'm 18. And I need a Dew.
     
  16. Smips

    Smips Diabloii.Net Member

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    I thought all three of those movies looked pretty horrible. I heard Scott Pilgrim was good, but it just looked so corny to me. I thought Disney/Pixar should have stopped at Toy Story 1. That was a good movie and it shouldn't have had any sequels if you ask me. Piranha looked like a mediocre horror flick at best.


     
  17. Swiller

    Swiller Diabloii.Net Member

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    I think I said this when you mentioned your estranged sister a long time ago, but I'll say it again: Spend time with your family while you can, because one day they'll be gone and you'll regret missing the time spent together.

    I still remember the last time I spoke with my brother. He called me from Texas. I didn't have anything to talk about, so I passed the phone to another family member. He died the next day. Every single day since then, the guilt has gnawed at me for not taking that time to talk on the phone that day. If I'm that guilt-ridden for skipping a single phone call, I cannot even imagine how I would feel if I hadn't spoken to him for several years, like you and your sister.

    If the rest of your family still holds a grudge, too bad. You're an adult and can make your own decisions.

    I also support the email idea. It will probably be eaiser to communicate via writing, rather than face-to-face. For the time being, at least.


     
  18. Thyiad

    Thyiad Moderator Single Player, D2 Assassin, Barbarian

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    If you're in the UK have a shufty at this from BBC iplayer. Ignore the first few minutes but check out her first bit of guitar playing.

    If you're not able to get BBCiPlayer try googling/YouTubing Sister Rosetta Tharpe. Fascinating.

    @ pancakeman

    For various dull reasons I exchange the odd text message with my sister and that's it. Otherwise we speak while arranging or attending funerals. I don't regret our split; the choice was mine.

    However, from what I can gather the split between you and your sister was not your choice. You may not have understood what was going on five years ago but if your writing here is anything to go by, you're mature enough to make your own decisions now.

    It would probably be wise to find out what caused the split (if you don't know) if only to avoid causing unintentional hurt to one side (what a loathsome image that is) of the family. The only caveat I would have is ... be prepared. If one side throws a wobbly because you see the other side, have a plan.
     
  19. corax

    corax Diabloii.Net Member

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    Oh btw i'm 22. Forgot to post my own age. could be early onset senility.

    Scott Pilgrim is corny but thats the entire point of the flick. starts off a little silly but its a good fun movie. Pirahna is pretty terrible, however Ving Rhames (who is epic) took them on with an outboard he ripped off a boat.
    Toy story 3 was better than 2 but i was never a fan of any really. I did find Lotso genuinely disturbing though.
    I liked Russel Crowe's Robin hood, it was pretty silly and ridiculous but it's a good movie to have on whilst painting or doing something else. Kevin Costner + Morgan Freeman = win.
    Machete looks like it will be awesome also, I love Johnny 23.
     
  20. ahcw

    ahcw Diabloii.Net Member

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    First off before I forget, I'm 25.

    As for the movies, Scott Pilgrim is incredibly fun to watch. I'm honestly amazed it did as poor as it did at the box office and blame weak marketing and average movie goers inability to look past Michael Cera's atypical leading man looks. It's just an over the top, silly, hilarious movie and everyone (even the cameos) did a fantastic job.

    Pirahna 3D has some nostalgia for me (funny how terrible movies from when you were young do that) as I recall watching the original when I was like....8? This new one is actually a lot of fun (different style from Scott Pilgrim....extremely violent), but you have to go in expecting that. If you are a person who abhors movies of that nature, then stay clear :).

    I haven't seen the new Robin Hood, but the old Kevin Costner version was one of my favorites back in the day (even if Costner can't even ATTEMPT an English accent in it....).

    Machete is awesome....'nuff said.

    Toy Story 3 stirred up emotions that shouldn't be stirred up! Seriously, how does Pixar do this to me?! While I agree that Toy Story was perfect after the original (Pixar actually dislikes making sequels, but were forced to by Disney for money.....big surprise I know), but this 3rd movie really won't disappoint anyone who likes the series.

    I haven't seen 500 Days of Summer because I know it'll be a hard watch, invoking memories of past relationships. I, too, am a huge Joseph Gordon-Levitt fan so I'm sure I'll have the stomach to watch it some day. Also, just a side note, but did anyone else think Joseph Gordon-Levitt was the real redeeming actor in Inception? Every scene he's in was just incredible and I think without him the movie would be pretty darn average.
     

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