elegy I feel the need to share. I have to be the "strong one" in my family, always have been. The one who nobody ever really worries about since "She'll be fine, she's so strong"-sort of thing. Well, my stepfather passed away this sunday and I'm turning to you people to lament a bit. Don't get me wrong, this is not a case of me having nobody to talk to or being lonely, it's rather a case of me not really being heard when I complain since everybody assumes I'm so damn mature strong blah blah whatnot and don't really need a shoulder to lean on. Well I still do sometimes. He was 54 years old and one of the dearest friends I had in this world. Bronek (as was his name) was a wonderful person. He was the most intelligent man I have ever met and had the most wonderful sense of humour, which coincided exactly with mine. There was nothing he couldn't discuss or argue and not come out on top. Whenever I had a difficult question I turned to him, whenever I needed something fixed, I turned to him, whenever I needed advice...well I'm sure you get the point by now... I don't know how to deal with death. My brother died 3 years ago at the age of 22 and I still haven't begun to "deal with" it. I miss him so much already it's undescribeable and the world surely is a lesser place without his presence. There. Can't think what else to write, even if there is lots on my mind.