Depressing Nuggets of Wisdom - the Comeback So anyway... things have been way too lighthearted as of late, and seeing as how I've not enriched anyones lives with the eternal wisdome of Dr. Oswald T. Pratt in over 2 weeks, I feel the need to place a bright spot on everyone's day by doing so now. So... sit back.... enjoy... grab your favorite bottle of sleeping pills and enjoy todays nuggets of wisdom from the honorable Dr. Oswald T. Pratt. Who needs friends, anyways? Your friends only hang out with you because they want something from you. What do you really get from your friends? Most of them are just like you, anyway. And that seems like a pretty boring setup. If you have any friends, most likely they just don't know you well enough yet. Once they get to know you and figure out how much of a basket case you are, they'll be gone like a shot. Think about all the times your friends have crossed you. Let that feeling stew. How to Identify a True Friend: * They exist only in your dreams. * You are paying them to act like one, such as a therapist, masseuse, or hooker. * They smile at you from the television. * They come in a syringe. * They are one-hundred proof. Look at that photo you have of you and your best friend -- you know, the one where you have your arms around each other and are smiling and looking right at the camera. You may think back fondly to that moment, but, if you'll recall, you were both asked to fake that smile.[/font] So... go forth and enjoy your day. Live in peace and happiness.